Oh well I saved money on not having to buy a new outfit or a present!

LEJC

This really isnt a rant or me feeling as if I've been left out ....perhaps just a little mystified as to why no-one thought I might like to know...


It would appear that a family member is getting married today,not immediate family but someone I though I had a good friendship with, and no one thought to mention it...in fact I only heard about it when I was driving back from the supermarket this morning and caught a dedication on the local radio station.

I admit we arn't particularly that close and in honesty I didnt expect an invite but like I say perhaps they could have mentioned it in passing...we live in the same area and bump into eachother occaisionally,send birthday and christmas cards and even attended another family event just 4 weeks ago,but no its not been mentioned at all.

As far as I know its clearly been planned for some time as some of their family have" flown in from all over the world to celebrate with them"...or so the radio dedication mentioned.
Im not aware of any tension between us and again I reiterate that I probably would never have expected to attend,but it would have been nice to have been told personally or even in the form of a card/note.

Its got me thinking though...anyone else ever felt that they have been forgotten to be told something?

Saturnalia

Bit different but the other day I read something on FB by my sister saying that one of her closest friends is going to be godmother to her baby.

I'm her elder son's godmother and I'd been assuming that siblings have the same godparents so I would be to the younger boy too. But I'd assumed wrong, my mistake!

And TBH I was so thrilled to be asked to be eldest's godmother because I'm already his aunt & I'd thought godparents were usually friends of the family rather than actually related.

So yes, I'm not upset or offended in the slightest. Just surprised!

peachyprice

How very peculiar, especially as you only saw them 4 weeks ago, I'm surprised no-one let it slip then.

Are you 100% sure it's them and not another couple with the same name? I'm sure you are, but I can't understand why they wouldn't tell you.

LEJC

peachyprice wrote: »

How very peculiar, especially as you only saw them 4 weeks ago, I'm surprised no-one let it slip then.

Are you 100% sure it's them and not another couple with the same name? I'm sure you are, but I can't understand why they wouldn't tell you.

We were at a gathering a few weeks ago where it was just them from that branch of the family,so no one else would necessarily have known about the wedding and let slip so to speak...

Pretty sure what I heard related to their day...it was quite a detailed dedication and mentioned other close family by name,so it really would be a coincidence if someone else is living in the area with grandparents,sisters and uncles all bearing the same details as my relations....

maman

You've obviously got a good attitude but I can see why you're a bit niggled.

My DH comes from a large (huge even) family and various nephews and nieces have been married and only certain aunties and uncles have been invited. Fair enough. It generally comes down to money and the numbers they can afford to invite. The reason they've kept it from you is probably embarrassment. That's the way it is in DH's family particularly as they've been invited to our family occasions. We've made them feel extra embarrassed over the years by sending a generous cheque and a card.

For a recent wedding, we were invited to the evening 'do' along with two other siblings. My SIL was really upset at not seeing her nephew married so she asked if we could go to the church. So we went to the church ceremony dressed more smartly than many of the proper guests, then went off and had a lovely meal then went back to the evening do. I could feel the embarrassment as they seemed to need to justify it all and we could see who they'd chosen to invite 'all day'. We haven't fallen out but is it worth it for the cost of a few meals?

Obviously our solution won't apply to you but just sharing because I know how you must feel. Perhaps you could contact some of these family members 'who've flown in from all over the world' and have a catch up?

MrsDrink

I think it is sad LEJC. Perhaps, reading this forum, they were worried about people (not necessarily you) expecting an invite and therefore decided to downplay it to the extent of hiding it from some (and therefore all incase word got out)?


*edited to say*
Sad because you would obviously want to wish them well in their marriage and haven't been given that opportunity.

LEJC

maman wrote: »

You've obviously got a good attitude but I can see why you're a bit niggled

Obviously our solution won't apply to you but just sharing because I know how you must feel. Perhaps you could contact some of these family members 'who've flown in from all over the world' and have a catch up?

Actually thats made me laugh...perhaps I should drop my cousin an email and say that my husband is due to visit France on business next week and I wonder if its a good time for a catch up...he's been mentioned as "flying in"!

LEJC

MrsDrink wrote: »

*edited to say*
Sad because you would obviously want to wish them well in their marriage and haven't been giving that opportunity.

Everyone in my family knows I love a wedding...ive organised enough bits and bobs for many of them in the past...
They also know I would never expect an invite...but I do feel a little sad that when the opportunity to have said something a few weeks ago was presented nothing was said....in fact I think when we said goodbye it was the usual..."take care we'll catch up again soon"

Skintski

Perhaps its a wedding for only very close family and friends.

emsywoo123

LEJC wrote: »

he's been mentioned as "flying in"!

You don't mean your husband was mentioned on the radio as one who is flying in?! :eek:

LEJC

Skintski wrote: »

Perhaps its a wedding for only very close family and friends.

maybe so...but it wouldnt have cost anything to have mentioned it when we met 4 weeks ago...to which I would have wished them every future happiness and probably popped a card and voucher in the post for them last week to open this morning...