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Punishments for nasty bullying behaviour from a 14 y/o?
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She doesn't because she loves him. She just wants him to say sorry.. I left the room to blubber for 5 minutes.
We have decided he is not allowed his laptop back until after the weekend. He has some extra chores to do, he actually has a cupboard to clean out (he responds really well to physical tasks as consequences) He has been shown how serious an injury could have been caused and I think it went in. DD has told him how upset she was and frightened and then sad because she won't get her 100% attendance certificate this term and that she missed her trip.
He has cried and said sorry and shown a level of remorse which is more than we usually get, so maybe he is growing up a bit!
He has been told in no uncertain terms I will ring a policeman and he will have to face the same consequences as he would if he hurt someone in the street, like the boys that hit him a few months ago. I'm not sure that will remain lodged in his head but it will be reinforced over the weekend.
Now I have to deal with his t0ssp0t father who is refusing to have anything to do with him and told him he won't have him at his house. GGGgggrrrrrr.
Please dont think I am having a go here, i am just curious. Did you both have diff ideas about bringing him up? Were you more soft with your son than he would have liked to have been. Did you let him away with things because of his condition?
As I said the other day, my aunty did that and she paid heavily for it. Might be totally diff in your case though.0 -
Because of his violent behaviour or more generally?
More generally but he is using this as an excuse.. DS3 'knows' his dad hates him and doesn't want him and only ever screams and shouts at him ... we have a very difficult time getting him to go even just for dinner.
I sometimes just need a break from him though and it is not fair that he thinks he can wash his hands of DS3 because he has done something he doesn't like.. that isn't good parenting.Well done, you've dealt with it the best way possible.
Your ex sounds a nightmare!
Believe me, he is worse !Please dont think I am having a go here, i am just curious. Did you both have diff ideas about bringing him up? Were you more soft with your son than he would have liked to have been. Did you let him away with things because of his condition?
As I said the other day, my aunty did that and she paid heavily for it. Might be totally diff in your case though.
No, it used to be one of the few things we agreed on and if anything he has been kept on a tighter rein than any of the others because of his issues. He needs the rigid boundaries and he needs the routine and unbending rules. Whereas the others were given more freedom because you could actually reason with them.
His dad couldn't deal with his diagnosis and has been a kn0b about it ever since which was made 10 times worse when he was diagnosed with diabetes as well.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
I honestly wonder about the knowledge of some folk posting on here, have they been to a city comprehensive lately or spent time on a school bus, kids can be nasty and do fight.
I'm satisfied that Pigpen is enough of a deterrent for her son to not repeat his unacceptable behaviour, all this talk of getting the Police involved is just not needed, seriously, I can't imagine what they would have thought every time my mother called them to say, oh that's Pauline punched June, oh, wait a minute, that's June punched Pauline, she'd end up getting done for wasting Police time!
She wasn't enough of a deterrent to stop him from repeating this behaviour.
And again this wasn't a minor incident - he punched someone so hard that they were in pain for several hours after the event. You can try to minimise that until the cows come home, but it doesn't change the fact that it isn't in the normal sibling-fights parameters.We did a lot worse than that to each other!
This level of violence may have been acceptable in your family, but it's not in mine, nor in wider society.0 -
By the way, I thought this was lovely!! How she could say that after what he done. She sounds like a great wee girl, hope she's ok now
She is really lovely and quiet and gentle and sweet which was clouding my feeling towards the whole incident.
She is fine, she has hugged him, told him she loves him and that she hopes he won't do it again and gone for a sleepover with her friend from school.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
This level of violence may have been acceptable in your family, but it's not in mine, nor in wider society.
Where have I said it was acceptable, get your facts right before you accuse people of living a certain way. Violence is not acceptable in any form and I've never once said it was.
My poor mother was pulling her hair out at the time.0 -
She wasn't enough of a deterrent to stop him from repeating this behaviour.
And again this wasn't a minor incident - he punched someone so hard that they were in pain for several hours after the event. You can try to minimise that until the cows come home, but it doesn't change the fact that it isn't in the normal sibling-fights parameters.
DS3 hasn't repeated any behaviour and I would actively encourage him to protect himself against people physically attacking him whether they are boys or girls! This has been the only time he has hit anyone deliberately to hurt them to this extent.
My mother at about 12/13 encouraged her brother (4 years younger) to sit with his feet in the edge of the road and a car backed over them.. my uncle has brittle bones so spent months in casts and my nanna made my mother stay with him 24/7 and wait on him hand and foot until he had healed.. that was effective!
Sometimes injuries are just thoughtless.. she didn't intend him to be hurt to the extent that he was. They both laugh about it now
Siblings are your first friends and your first enemies.LB moment 10/06 Debt Free date 6/6/14Hope to be debt free until the day I dieMortgage-free Wannabee (05/08/30)6/6/14 £72,454.65 (5.65% int.)08/12/2023 £33602.00 (4.81% int.)0 -
More generally but he is using this as an excuse.. DS3 'knows' his dad hates him and doesn't want him and only ever screams and shouts at him ... we have a very difficult time getting him to go even just for dinner.
He's probably best not seeing his dad if he thinks that, he sounds a lousy father.0 -
Sometimes injuries are just thoughtless.. she didn't intend him to be hurt to the extent that he was. They both laugh about it now
Siblings are your first friends and your first enemies.
Very well said, myself and my sister (my twin) would fight like cat and dog and then later on be best of friends.
I'm happy to report we both love each other very much and are extremely close, she's my rock.0
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