FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

mortgagenomore_2

Tayforth I am so proud of you, I am sure there will be a lot that will read this in the same boat thinking they wish they had the guts so good on you, noone should ever be made to feel like that and one day i know you will find a nice man who you will realise is treating you how you should be treated, and just think you can read your book in your bed with disco lights flashing now.

If he has left his stuff for him to have a chance you can always leave outside the flat door when you know he is coming as someone mentioned you have done the hard bit, he may still turn when he realises there is no hope at the moment he is clinging to a bit of hope, a bit of space and you will miss him (his thinking) but you have done so well Tayforth you deserve better, treat others as you wish to be treated yourself my mum always told me he clearly wasnt taught this, good luck in the future you have so much love to give that special person and it may not seem like it now but one day you will find him

AlwaysAllie

How many of us have been lurking or posting over the past few days and then waiting with bated breath for an update tonight. I've been working, couldn't get a signal and desperate to know that you were ok.

I've never been in your situation but am inspired by your strength.

Best of luck for your future. Keep us updated, please

AA

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

Its normal to have mixed emotions after so long with someone, someone is part of your life for a long time and even if they are a massive pain in the rear end you will probably go through a lot of different feelings.

And being single really isnt so bad, its miles better than being in a relationship where you dont feel valued.

The two significant relationships in my life, I spent years getting my ears bashed about how I wasnt quite good enough.

And even in my loneliest moments and there have been a few, I appreciate being able to come home, do what I like without getting lectured about this that or the next.

And I have self esteem and worth even in my most fed up moments that I didnt have when I was with those people.

One day at a time as I said before.

Thank you. I'll remember your words when I'm feeling low (which I expect will be quite a lot over the next while) xx

msb5262 wrote: »

So pleased and relieved - and so proud of you! Well done. This is really just the beginning!
MsB x

Thanks you so much msb5262 xx

mortgagenomore wrote: »

Tayforth I am so proud of you, I am sure there will be a lot that will read this in the same boat thinking they wish they had the guts so good on you, noone should ever be made to feel like that and one day i know you will find a nice man who you will realise is treating you how you should be treated, and just think you can read your book in your bed with disco lights flashing now.

If he has left his stuff for him to have a chance you can always leave outside the flat door when you know he is coming as someone mentioned you have done the hard bit, he may still turn when he realises there is no hope at the moment he is clinging to a bit of hope, a bit of space and you will miss him (his thinking) but you have done so well Tayforth you deserve better, treat others as you wish to be treated yourself my mum always told me he clearly wasnt taught this, good luck in the future you have so much love to give that special person and it may not seem like it now but one day you will find him

I'll let him in to get his stuff, I don't see the point in being awkward and I'd like to be able to hold my head up high and say that I was fair to him. I hope that he doesn't try to persuade me to give it another go, because I don't want to.

If this thread helps anyone summon up the courage to leave a bad relationship, then I'll be very glad.

Your disco lights comment made me laugh btw

Thanks so much xxx

tayforth

AlwaysAllie wrote: »

How many of us have been lurking or posting over the past few days and then waiting with bated breath for an update tonight. I've been working, couldn't get a signal and desperate to know that you were ok.

I've never been in your situation but am inspired by your strength.

Best of luck for your future. Keep us updated, please

AA

Aww, thank you so much. I'm genuinely humbled by the kindness and concern that's been expressed by you all, it means so much to me.

And I will keep updating xx

justme111

I guess you will feel numb and many other emotions , and life is not going to be rosy , and may be a few years will have to go by for your relationship with ex to become calm and civil . You had many years together it may feel like a big black hole now , not nice . Be prepared for a lot of drama from your ex now , love messages alternating with swearing and most hurtful words , if this carousel does not happen then good but be ready. Your ex probably can not believe it, if hr sees you as his part - how is it possible for one's hand just to say "I am leaving you".
Suppose you are going to read it tomorrow so have a good day

Saturnalia

You are amazing Tayforth. Hope you have a nice night... and the rest of your life is waiting for you!

mintymoneysaver

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!

It won't be all happy at first, sometimes you'll have days where it just overwhelms you, but the sheer relief of knowing you no longer have something in your life that is making you so miserable will outweigh it all.

This was me....

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2539433

We actually struggled through it ( he always denied it, and I could never prove it) so we struggled on. I probably shouldn't have, but you know from what I've said that I eventually made that break and it was the BEST decision I've ever made in my life. The past year since we split has been full of so many positives, I look back now and realsie how totally weighed down my life was. It was no life at all. Now I have life, a life filled with things I like, people who love and care about me. All through this year I have been told how much better I am, and I've felt it so much. But just recently ( as i've told you) I've moved on to the next stage again! I needed a year just for me, and I loved it all, I thought I was as happy as I could ever be. But this week's made me realise I can be even happier! Who knew life was so good?
In fact in work yesterday my two closest friends were talking as I walked past and called me over. They'd been talking about me, and how fantastic it was to see me so happy, with a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eye.
Have a wonderful day, embrace every opportunity and take care xx

duchy

Oh sure you'll have bad days as you mourn for "What it could have been" and missing having "someone" around (remember it's a someone you're missing rather than him iyswim)-but you'll come through this time - stronger and more confident and one day you'll read this thread through and marvel at how far you've come since this last week or two.

Stay strong and welcome to your new life xx

CH27

Well done. Stay strong.

aileth

Massive well done!! I'd be bathing in Baileys right now