FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

He's gone.

He took it better than I'd expected, at first anyway. He arrived here and saw all his stuff - seemed pretty shocked tbh. I asked him to leave. He said that he would, and that he was sorry for all his past behaviour. He admitted that he had been abusive towards me throughout our relationship, it was a relief to actually hear him say it.

But then he asked if he could leave some of his stuff until he found somewhere else to stay, as he was going to go to his mum's tonight and wouldn't be able to take it all. I agreed - perhaps foolishly, but I imagine that it'll be hard enough for him to turn up at her door and tell her the news without having a car-load of stuff to haul in as well.

When we were talking about his behaviour, I had the printouts sitting on the sofa and asked if he wanted to see them. He read them while I went upstairs to the loo. He's taken them with him.

BUT just before he left, he asked if there was any chance of us working through our problems and that marriage was a big commitment and he didn't take it lightly, blah blah. And that's when I was so glad of this thread, and the Samaritans, and all the things I've read, because I was able to be strong and say NO. That I didn't love him any more, that he had destroyed my feelings for him over the last few years and that nothing would change my mind. AND that he had vowed to love, honour and cherish me and he hadn't done any of those! He said OK and left, but I suspect that he'll try that line again.

The LL is still changing the locks tomorrow morning. If (now ex) OH queries it, I'll tell him that I lost my keys and had to get the emergency locksmith to change it.

I thought that I'd be dancing a jig. Instead, I feel pretty numb.

Person_one

Well done, you did brilliantly.

tayforth

Huge thanks for your support up to now, you've all been amazing and I owe you big time xx

spirit

Well done and hugs.

It's natural to feel numb, no one goes into a marriage thinking they might have to end it within a year or so. I expect that the adrenalin has been flowing today too and now you can 'stand down' it is a bit of an anti climax.

It's early days yet, you have done brilliantly today, just take each day at a time now.

pinkladyof66

really hope you feel better soon op at least the worst is over you can now relax and try to move on with your life, it will be hard but you will get there and in no time at all you will look back with admiration of yourself as to how strong you were and you can then look forward to all the nice things in life again. So proud of you OP !!! Well done !!!

mcja

:beer:

Tayforth,you are the kind of woman my i would love my daughter to have as a role model.

You have been through so much, and by asking for help you have been able to make a monumental life changing decision. It has been a genuine privilege to read your story. I wish you a very happy, peaceful future filled with lots of gentle times and lots and lots of laughter.

Xx

bagpussbear

Very well done Tayforth, hugs to you. The worst is over now. Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life xx

nmlc

Evening

Well done, you handled it brilliantly without crumbling and stuck to your guns. He may well keep trying to get you back on side over the next few days, so don't be fooled by his behaviour. You've done the hardest bit. Don't want to scare you but would it be worth putting a wedge under your door tonight from the inside just in case he decides he wants to get back in?

Keep safe and well x

nmlc x

harrys_nan

Big (((hugs))) for you.
You have done the hard part and your going to feel strange for a few days, I'm sure you will go through lots of different emotions.
Keep strong and look forwards now to your future which will be full of happiness and peace
Sleep well tonight xx

Alpha58

Others have said it already, but today is the first day of the rest of your life. Wake up tomorrow morning, throw open the curtains and smile at the world - it is smiling right back at you! It was Helen Keller who said that “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Go you!