FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

claire16c

Can you pack some extra bits and take them to work tomorrow and store them there or at a friends or something before you ask him to leave - just incase he refuses to? Then if you need to take a bag tomorrow you'll know you've already got some stuff.

tayforth

claire16c wrote: »

Can you pack some extra bits and take them to work tomorrow and store them there or at a friends or something before you ask him to leave - just incase he refuses to? Then if you need to take a bag tomorrow you'll know you've already got some stuff.

I don't really want to leave stuff at work. We have an open plan office with hardly any storage, so it would be noticed. But thanks for the suggestion xx


Just praying that he agrees to leave.

Bangton

I hope he does. To be fair to him ( and I know he's far from perfect) he has given you space right now so maybe just maybe it will be okay. I would prefer to read that you were the one leaving more as a peace of mind thing but completely respect you don't feel up to it. Just please look after yourself .. I'm sure many of us will be checking in tomorrow to make sure your ok. Best of luck x

tayforth

Bangton wrote: »

I hope he does. To be fair to him ( and I know he's far from perfect) he has given you space right now so maybe just maybe it will be okay. I would prefer to read that you were the one leaving more as a peace of mind thing but completely respect you don't feel up to it. Just please look after yourself .. I'm sure many of us will be checking in tomorrow to make sure your ok. Best of luck x

Thanks so much.


Tbh, I think that he's only giving me space right now because he is in one of his apologetic 'nice guy' phases. And he's panicking that I'm serious. I know it.

Pixiechic

I think that that is the concern, that he thinks that it will all blow over and it will all go back to how it was. When he realises that you're serious, how is he likely to react?

I have experience of this when I left my ex boyfriend, I had to call the police and it took four officers to drag him out of our flat and into a cell. I took all my things and left that night. I should have known with his track record that he wasn't going to behave well. I'm not trying to scare you, just concerned.

Now, I'm in a happy relationship and I don't regret the past, I'm just happy that I made the decision and moved on to something so much better and you will too. I had the same worries as you but you will soon see how much better your life is. It's so emotionally draining to go through what you are going through. It will be easier when you can open up to your family too. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Good luck and take care xx

tayforth

Pixiechic wrote: »

I think that that is the concern, that he thinks that it will all blow over and it will all go back to how it was. When he realises that you're serious, how is he likely to react?

I have experience of this when I left my ex boyfriend, I had to call the police and it took four officers to drag him out of our flat and into a cell. I took all my things and left that night. I should have known with his track record that he wasn't going to behave well. I'm not trying to scare you, just concerned.

Now, I'm in a happy relationship and I don't regret the past, I'm just happy that I made the decision and moved on to something so much better and you will too. I had the same worries as you but you will soon see how much better your life is. It's so emotionally draining to go through what you are going through. It will be easier when you can open up to your family too. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Good luck and take care xx

Thanks for your post and for the good wishes, it's really appreciated. Did you have an inkling that he would react in that way?

kittiej

Sorry just stopped by and haven't read the whole thread, has the OP stated on what grounds they wish to seek an annulment?

Pixiechic

Yes, he had been physically abusive before, just not to that level. When he realised that I meant it about leaving, he resorted to more extreme behaviour. I was shocked by his behaviour but really I shouldn't have been.

Has your soon to be ex ever been physically abusive towards you? I have read your whole thread but I can't recall.

neverdespairgirl

paulineb wrote: »

Theres another thread on here about a marriage splitting and the advice has been that the husband would be entitled to 50:50, including savings that the wife has.

That thread contains a lot of well iffy "advice".

tayforth

Today's the day. I'm scared but I'm ready.

Pixiechic wrote: »

Yes, he had been physically abusive before, just not to that level. When he realised that I meant it about leaving, he resorted to more extreme behaviour. I was shocked by his behaviour but really I shouldn't have been.

Has your soon to be ex ever been physically abusive towards you? I have read your whole thread but I can't recall.

He's never slapped, punched or beaten me, so in the past I would have said no.


But after talking to the Samaritans, I realise that spitting, poking me in the chest, shoving and kicking me in bed if I woke him - those are all forms of physical abuse. And he's done them all.