FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Alpha58

I find myself wondering what happened to Tayforth...

spirit

Me too, a bit worrying isn't it.

kelpie35

Only a suggestion, but she might have started using her old name as she mentioned, in her opening post, that she had just set this new name.

I don't know what the old was but someone might know.

paulineb_2

I think if she were updating this post, she would use the name she started the thread with

Yes its concerning when someone doesnt update, but it could be for any number of reasons, feeling stressed, having a reaction to events or even someone changing their mind and deciding to go back to the ex

Or even not having wifi or internet access

jackieblack

paulineb wrote: »

Yes its concerning when someone doesnt update, but it could be for any number of reasons, feeling stressed, having a reaction to events or even someone changing their mind and deciding to go back to the ex

Or even not having wifi or internet access

Of course, that's all quite true

Doesn't stop us wondering if (and hoping that) she's ok though

Alpha58

paulineb wrote: »

even someone changing their mind and deciding to go back to the ex

That's the part I'm concerned about...

jackieblack

Alpha58 wrote: »

That's the part I'm concerned about...

If that is what's happened then I would respect that it's Tay's decision to make.
I'm sure we've all formed opinions, based on the information we've been given, but only Tay knows what she is feeling.

If that is what's happened, I hope that Tay doesn't think she would be criticised or attacked here for making that decision.

I'm sure we all just want her to be happy

danandjens_worldtravels

Or... not posting is a part of the process of moving on, she's gotten through the decision and the action and now is onto the everyday.

Thinking about updating us and revisiting this long and emotional thread may not be what she needs, instead Tayforth is focused on what is happening now and next without the reminder of what has been before.

I hope she still reads this and knows that we all wish her the very best and gets some support from knowing we all care and she can come back anytime.

It sounds crazy, but I put positive thoughts into the universe, (usually when I catch myself at a fantastic moment and realise my fortune.) These thoughts are directed at friends and family and to people who may need some good vibes - hope you caught one Tay

tayforth

Hello all

So sorry for being AWOL for ages, I've been at my mum's mostly and her wifi is awful! I totally intend to keep this thread going

Don't worry, I haven't gone back to my ex :eek: and nor will I ever go back to him.

It's been a strange few weeks. As you know, I had a wobble in July - but it turned out that it wasn't a 'changing my mind' wobble, more of a comedown from the adrenaline of the previous few months. I started sleeping better, though. I'm determined to go back to work next month, though it's a daunting prospect.

Also - I've had a couple of nights out with some good friends, which helped a lot. We had a laugh, and they were so nice and supportive.

I've also bought a few new dresses.

I do have my 'down' moments too, but I try not to worry about them, they'll pass.

I'm going to visit a good friend tomorrow for a few days, which I'm very much looking forward to.

Unfortunately, I still don't feel 100% comfortable being in my house. I'll give some thought to moving when I get back to work. I also feel the urge to have a huge clearout and either sell or give away lots of stuff, I've read about people who've done this and they say that it makes them feel 'lighter' mentally and emotionally.

Will reply to you all individually in a sec.

How is everyone? xxx



Edited to add: oh gosh, just noticed that we're on page 100!

tayforth

wannabee_in_credit wrote: »

Good to hear from you...
You can't rush these things. If you're not up to going to work yet, you're not up to it. But your plan is right - keep busy. I'm on week 4 of absence due to stress, and it's taken me this long to stop feeling guilty about going out, because if I can go out then surely I'm not sick? Or so my mind was telling me.
xxx

How are you doing now? I hope that having some time off has given you strength - not to mention a rest xxx

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

Oh Tay that is SOOoooooooo normal. And sorry to tell you this, but you might as well be prepared, those time of missing him and missing the good times are likely to get to you for some time yet - precisely because the force of the initial shock / anger / hurt is going to die down - you can't live in that hyped up state for long. That's when the loneliness and your heart's longing for the dream life you believed you were going to have with him is likely to come to the fore.

But you KNOW - just from the reaction you had when talking about this to the OH - that it was a very damaging relationship and your feelings of missing the happier times are more to do with the selective way our minds store memories than the reality of what you lived through.

I remember once long ago in a similar situation to yours, feeling that I was 'over' it all and getting my life back together but still having spells of missing him and wanting to text or e-mail or somehow initiate contact (but couldn't because I had deleted his details from every method of contact possible) when out of the blue an e-mail arrived from him after 6 months of no contact - just a happy chatty note as if we'd only spoken yesterday and the whole nasty horrible mess had never happened.

Do you know what happened? I was ridiculously over-the-top totally traumatised by the contact and for a couple of days had a bit of a meltdown (and I'm not normally a neurotic crazy lady , honest!). That's what made me realise how toxic the relationship had really been.

But I am totally fine now (well, as fine as a neurotic crazy lady wannabe is ever likely to be!)

Just hang in there. Things WILL get better.

Big hugs

Dx

(((((Hugs))))) to you too. Yes, I'm sure that you felt totally overwhelmed by that. And it is the 'lost future' rather than the person that you miss, I agree.

I'm glad to say that I got through those few weeks, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel tbh.

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

LazyDaisy's so right , Tay, you know how positive I've been, but I've been wallowing a bit recently too. It's my wedding anniversary today ( or would have been) and I've had a down day or two.

I think about the good times sometimes, and then I remember the rubbish ones. I was telling my friend today that I had been feeling a bit lonely, and as she pointed out at least I was lonely and happy, rather than lonely and unhappy, as I had been!

It will get better... xxx

(((Hugs))) MMM. And what a wise friend you have, she hit the nail on the head!!

I've emailed you xxx