FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tesuhoha

The reason I say that is that I have just read a book called Wheat Belly and a lot of mysterious rashes are caused by wheat. I have given up wheat and my IBS has completely disappeared. So while it might not work, as the rash is giving you such hell, it might be worth a try. Try for 2/3 weeks, if not, then you can always go back to eating it.

It may be that stress has made you develop an allergy.

tesuhoha

Do you suffer from any other symptoms like migraines?

I'm not being a quack here - all I am saying is give it a try.

tayforth

No migraines, no other symptoms. But I might try your suggestion anyway, it can't hurt and I could do with eating less bread

I wish that I felt challenged or even useful in my job! Tbh, it's a strange role. I'm not that knowledgeable about the subject area, but at the same time I don't seem to have lot to actually do. And yes, I've broached this with my manager already, didn't really get anywhere. So it's not as if I'm really all that 'needed' iykwim.

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

No migraines, no other symptoms. But I might try your suggestion anyway, it can't hurt and I could do with eating less bread

I wish that I felt challenged or even useful in my job! Tbh, it's a strange role. I'm not that knowledgeable about the subject area, but at the same time I don't seem to have lot to actually do. And yes, I've broached this with my manager already, didn't really get anywhere. So it's not as if I'm really all that 'needed' iykwim.

To be honest, I wouldnt worry about getting upset. I dont like crying in front of people either, but there have been times in the workplace where Ive had to, because of life stuff, no one thought any the worse of me.

Its getting a balance between going back too soon and staying off too long that you need to judge.

With regards to the medication for insomnia, Im not a pill popper either but my view is, whatever gets you through. When I was prescribed that last lot of anti depressants it helped me sleep, it helped my anxiety about my life situation. And I only needed them for 6 months at which time, my insomnia got better and Ive been suffering about 25 years.

Once you feel a bit brighter, biting the bullet and going back might be the best thing you could do for yourself. The longer you stay off the harder it might be to face returning. If your work are in any way supportive, talk to them about a phased return, even half time for a few weeks, a lot of employers are ok with that.

Sometimes being off and having a lot of thinking time is actually counter productive. And if you dont want to take medication have a look at other ways to manage how you are feeling, exercise, complementary therapies, theres a lot of stuff out there that might help you get a sleeping pattern back.

And it also might be good to talk to a counsellor as well.

ostrichnomore_2

Tayforth, well done, you are on that road and each step is different. Some are easy, some are hard, some are in the wrong direction, but you'll get there in the end :-)

When I compare how I feel and think now, with 6 months ago after a terrible break-up last summer, I'm like a different person. I'm back to myself again. I've still got some pain in the bum stuff to sort out, but emotionally I'm soooooooooo over it all. I'm eating well. I'm sleeping well. My moods are good. I was a total mess then.

It just takes time.

tesuhoha

tayforth wrote: »

No migraines, no other symptoms. But I might try your suggestion anyway, it can't hurt and I could do with eating less bread

I wish that I felt challenged or even useful in my job! Tbh, it's a strange role. I'm not that knowledgeable about the subject area, but at the same time I don't seem to have lot to actually do. And yes, I've broached this with my manager already, didn't really get anywhere. So it's not as if I'm really all that 'needed' iykwim.

Its a pity you don't have a job that will distract you. You could do with something else to think about.

I'm only saying about the wheat because the doctor's remedies are not working and it is giving you so much trouble. In the book I read, rashes are one of the main symptoms of wheat allergy.

So try giving up bread, pasta, cakes, biscuits, pastry, croissants, bagels, pancakes, yorkshire puddings, cereals with wheat in, which is most of them, beer, some spirits. It sounds as if you will have nothing to eat but I have managed it and found plenty. Let me know on here if it works.

Its not much fun giving up wheat so if it works you will have to decide which you would rather have, the wheat or the rash!

However, you can still eat chocolate!:)

paulineb_2

Im intolerant to wheat, in particular wheat beer, it makes me ill, but I dont get a rash. I dont drink it btw, but anytime I did it made me feel very unwell.

If you go down the route of getting allergy tested speak to your GP before you start cutting out food groups.

The rash could be any number of things, it could be eczema, dermatitis, dust allergy, lots of things, Id be asking your GP to do some tests or refer you to a dermatologist if it doesnt ease off.

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

To be honest, I wouldnt worry about getting upset. I dont like crying in front of people either, but there have been times in the workplace where Ive had to, because of life stuff, no one thought any the worse of me.

Its getting a balance between going back too soon and staying off too long that you need to judge.

With regards to the medication for insomnia, Im not a pill popper either but my view is, whatever gets you through. When I was prescribed that last lot of anti depressants it helped me sleep, it helped my anxiety about my life situation. And I only needed them for 6 months at which time, my insomnia got better and Ive been suffering about 25 years.

Once you feel a bit brighter, biting the bullet and going back might be the best thing you could do for yourself. The longer you stay off the harder it might be to face returning. If your work are in any way supportive, talk to them about a phased return, even half time for a few weeks, a lot of employers are ok with that.

Sometimes being off and having a lot of thinking time is actually counter productive. And if you dont want to take medication have a look at other ways to manage how you are feeling, exercise, complementary therapies, theres a lot of stuff out there that might help you get a sleeping pattern back.

And it also might be good to talk to a counsellor as well.

paulineb wrote: »

Im intolerant to wheat, in particular wheat beer, it makes me ill, but I dont get a rash. I dont drink it btw, but anytime I did it made me feel very unwell.

If you go down the route of getting allergy tested speak to your GP before you start cutting out food groups.

The rash could be any number of things, it could be eczema, dermatitis, dust allergy, lots of things, Id be asking your GP to do some tests or refer you to a dermatologist if it doesnt ease off.

Thank you, Pauline.

I'm going to speak to Welfare and see what they say about returning to work. I know that I have to get back before it becomes too difficult. I really would hate to cry at work, but I'm going to have to face it sometime. A phased or PT return could be a good idea, I'll think about that, definitely.

And I'll ask for a referral or tests if the rash isn't improving by the time I see the doctor on Friday.

Thanks again xx

tayforth

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Tayforth, well done, you are on that road and each step is different. Some are easy, some are hard, some are in the wrong direction, but you'll get there in the end :-)

When I compare how I feel and think now, with 6 months ago after a terrible break-up last summer, I'm like a different person. I'm back to myself again. I've still got some pain in the bum stuff to sort out, but emotionally I'm soooooooooo over it all. I'm eating well. I'm sleeping well. My moods are good. I was a total mess then.

It just takes time.

Thanks very much, ostrichnomore. It's wonderful to hear that you're doing so well after coming through a hard time. It does inspire me to read such positivity.

Hope that your pain in the bum stuff is sorted quickly. Let me know how you're getting on xxx

tesuhoha wrote: »

Its a pity you don't have a job that will distract you. You could do with something else to think about.

I'm only saying about the wheat because the doctor's remedies are not working and it is giving you so much trouble. In the book I read, rashes are one of the main symptoms of wheat allergy.

So try giving up bread, pasta, cakes, biscuits, pastry, croissants, bagels, pancakes, yorkshire puddings, cereals with wheat in, which is most of them, beer, some spirits. It sounds as if you will have nothing to eat but I have managed it and found plenty. Let me know on here if it works.

Its not much fun giving up wheat so if it works you will have to decide which you would rather have, the wheat or the rash!

However, you can still eat chocolate!:)

Yes, I would like a more challenging job, or a more interesting one, or even one where I felt important to the success of my organisation. As it is, I don't. I have very nice colleagues, but the job itself is just not fulfilling or challenging. Worse, I don't feel that I contribute much.

I've spent the last year or two thinking about leaving and doing something more interesting, or even starting my own business. The only thing stopping me is fear. I earn a good salary, better than average, and I know that there are few jobs that will pay me what I earn at the moment. I also have a good occupational pension.

I started in my organisation 11 years ago, have worked in a variety of roles and been promoted. I now earn more than twice what I started on. I could go part-time and not struggle for money. I remind myself of that every time I grumble about my job!

So the thought of doing something else, where I'd still have to work full-time for far less money, doesn't appeal. And isn't the grass always greener? Would I come to resent a different job if it paid far less? At least in my current job I have the option of going part-time and still being OK financially, and I could do the interesting stuff in my own time.

Gosh, I'm very philosophical tonight.

Has anyone made the leap and left a job they didn't like? What happened? Pauline, I recall you saying that you'd changed career and become a fitness instructor

paulineb_2

Id also like to say if I didnt make clear in my above post, Ive not suffered from insomnia since I stopped taking the anti depressants about 7 weeks ago and it absolutely blighted my life and it got much much worse when I was under stress, which I was for a long time due to work.

Some people fall asleep within minutes of going to bed, I would be 2 hours, at least, I would wake up during the night and then early, 6am or 7am was usual for me.

I was on anti depressants 10 years ago but a different kind, my GP then thought I might have depression and if they treated the depression the insomia would stop. Didnt work.

Herbal remedies dont work for me, I occasionally used nytol but I hated the way it made me feel. My view now is, if a GP had suggested an anti depressant 5 years ago, one that was specifically for insomnia, my life would have been much better.

Whatever it takes to get you through, there is nil shame in saying you need help. After a mini meltdown at my GP last October, my GPs are really unsupportive in general, I asked for an anti depressant, told her I wasnt sleeping and was feeling anxious (due to yet another horrible boss) and when I took that first pill I felt better, instantly.

It allowed me to deal with the other crap that was going on in my life (idiot ex boyfriend) and get on with things. And when I felt I didnt need them anymore, that was that.

And I have had my down days over the last 8 months or so, but I think life would have been much much harder dealing with it all on 2 hours sleep.

And things pass, thats all I can say. 2012 was a pretty horrible year for me and sometimes things just smack you between the eyes when you least need it.

But even the worst experiences are not wasted. I also went to see a counsellor about my work issues last year and while it wasnt a magic wand moment, it helped. And I dont generally like talking about anything much offline, online doesnt bother me, but Im one of lifes copers.

But sometimes you can cope with too much and thats when things come crashing around your ears.

Its ok to say you dont feel great, its ok to have a cry, even in front of people and its ok to have days where you think your life is a pile of crap and will never get better. Because thats part of the healing process.

Even though you are miles better off without your ex, you will be on some level grieving for what might have been if he hadnt been the way he was and thats absolutely natural.

All I can say is that one day and it probably wont be too far away, you'll wake up and you'll feel better and you'll have more good days than bad ones.

And its also ok to take support from friends and family. As Ive said before, my family went through a horrendous experience last year that could have had massive repercussions for the person concerned, legally and we had so much support from people who cared and knew it was a huge load of nonsense.

You find out who your friends are and if you have good friends who would give you an ear, dont be afraid to lean on them a bit.

And I'll also say, you owe it to yourself to get on with your life and be happy, because thats the reason why you ended a relationship that made you miserable.