FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

spirit

with your sister, it could be that ol 'elephant in the room thing'. She just may not know what to say? You know like when someone dies and people cross the street to avoid you simply because they have no idea of how to handle the situation?

I too think it's time to trundle off home. Home is what you make it, you've already made good progress with personalising it. Your family are only a phone call away. I think that the longer you leave it, the harder it might get.

zzzLazyDaisy

tayforth wrote: »

There'll be ups and downs, and I need to recognise each setback as part of the process.

There's a saying - Spirit never throws anything at you unless you are ready to handle it. That might be a bit too 'new age' for you, but basically it means that you have the setbacks because you are able to cope and learn from them, and so move forward. If you weren't 'there', you'd stay in denial, papering over the cracks, and not moving forward - for fear of the setbacks.

So yes, even the setbacks are part of the process of moving forward.

And it has been such a short time since you regained your freedom, don't forget that!

Your body and mind is [STRIKE]probably[/STRIKE] still working its way through the shock of what happened and the recent changes (even good changes take us out of the familiar into the stress of the unknown and unfamiliar).

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

I didn't think of it like that, thank you. I was feeling guilty about being so down, not just for those who are supprting me but for those who are looking to this thread for inspiration and hope. But it's probably better that I'm honest and tell it like it is.


I have faith that I'm doing the right thing, and that keeps me going even when I'm having a bad time of it. There'll be ups and downs, and I need to recognise each setback as part of the process.


.

this was never going to be a walk in the park Tay, go easy on yourself you will have up and down days :A

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

Thanks, Daisy. Yes, where would we be without the Internet!

I didn't think of it like that, thank you. I was feeling guilty about being so down, not just for those who are supprting me but for those who are looking to this thread for inspiration and hope. But it's probably better that I'm honest and tell it like it is.


I have faith that I'm doing the right thing, and that keeps me going even when I'm having a bad time of it. There'll be ups and downs, and I need to recognise each setback as part of the process.


A colleague (with whom I'm friendly) has been in touch and I've met up with her. I've phoned my boss - once - but broke down on the phone, so have resorted to texting since then. He's been very understanding. Welfare/HR have asked me to contact them, so I'll do that this week.

I know that some people dont believe in medication, my GPs certainly dont, but as Ive already said, last year I went through a pretty rough time and it ended with me sitting crying in my Gps surgery, asking them for something to help me through it

Ive suffered from insomnia pretty much since I was in my 20s and Ive never had any support to deal with it. I dont like over the counter remedies, they make me feel foggy.

My GP prescribed me metrazipine, I was on the lowest dose, 15mg and it helped my sleep pattern, Im now off them. They help with insomnia, they also helped my anxiety massively.

Insomnia can be a side effect of stress or depression and sometimes doctors try and treat the depression and hope that the sleeping pattern will regulate itself.

I know people who are very anti any medication. Ive taken anti depressants twice in my life. But there have been times in my life where Ive struggled on, because my doctors wouldnt help and I believe that some medication would have helped.

We are all individuals and as such have choices to make, but personally theres nothing worse than having life stuff to deal with and you cant sleep on top of that.

I would also mention the insomnia to your GP when you see them next.

As for other threads, you can only help people when you feel able to yourself. I dont think people sail through any breakup, even if its the right thing, theres always some emotional fall out.

If I were you I would also pick up the phone to HR as soon as possible. I understand that you need time out and you dont feel like going back home just now, but I agree, getting into a normal routine would probably help you. The longer you leave it, the harder you might find it to go back.

And in time you can always rent a new flat.

pinkladyof66

Yes I too agree that you should perhaps think about contacting HR soon. I know you said you boss is understanding but the sooner you get back to normality the better. Have you thought any idea in your mind as to when you might return to work even if you go back on a phased return ?

It could keep your mind occupied. When I went through a pretty disasterous and stressful time in the past being in work helped me and I found even though I was not firing on all cylinders being in work and doing something productive helped, and you will be around people who care and will offer you support.

Not pushing you back but as previous poster says the longer you stay off the much harder it will be in going back.

I do hope the rash clears up soon and you are able to move back to your flat and try to get back to a normal life.

pinkladyof66

Hope you are ok Tay as havent seen any postings for a bit. Keep smiling if possible

tayforth

Thanks for your posts, everyone. I'm sorry, I haven't felt up to posting here the last couple of days.

I phoned my employer's welfare service this morning, had to steel myself to make the call but they were very nice. They're going to call me back to make an appointment for a chat. I know that I need to get back to work, I feel guilty being off for so long.

I'm going to go back to my house tomorrow for a few days. I'll see the doctor on Friday.

Also, I've been having quite severe pain in my right breast, I'm not sure what's caused it but should I mention to to the doctor?

On a happier note, my rash is finally starting to improve

spirit wrote: »

with your sister, it could be that ol 'elephant in the room thing'. She just may not know what to say? You know like when someone dies and people cross the street to avoid you simply because they have no idea of how to handle the situation?

I too think it's time to trundle off home. Home is what you make it, you've already made good progress with personalising it. Your family are only a phone call away. I think that the longer you leave it, the harder it might get.

spirit wrote: »

this was never going to be a walk in the park Tay, go easy on yourself you will have up and down days :A

Thank you, spirit. I did broach the subject with my sister yesterday and she apologised for being short with me, which was a relief. She's got a touch of post-honeymoon blues, but is starting to feel better, bless her. The good weather is helping her mood!

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

There's a saying - Spirit never throws anything at you unless you are ready to handle it. That might be a bit too 'new age' for you, but basically it means that you have the setbacks because you are able to cope and learn from them, and so move forward. If you weren't 'there', you'd stay in denial, papering over the cracks, and not moving forward - for fear of the setbacks.

So yes, even the setbacks are part of the process of moving forward.

And it has been such a short time since you regained your freedom, don't forget that!

Your body and mind is [STRIKE]probably[/STRIKE] still working its way through the shock of what happened and the recent changes (even good changes take us out of the familiar into the stress of the unknown and unfamiliar).

Thank you, Daisy. That's a lovely post, and you're right. I'll just take each day as it comes xx

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

I know that some people dont believe in medication, my GPs certainly dont, but as Ive already said, last year I went through a pretty rough time and it ended with me sitting crying in my Gps surgery, asking them for something to help me through it

Ive suffered from insomnia pretty much since I was in my 20s and Ive never had any support to deal with it. I dont like over the counter remedies, they make me feel foggy.

My GP prescribed me metrazipine, I was on the lowest dose, 15mg and it helped my sleep pattern, Im now off them. They help with insomnia, they also helped my anxiety massively.

Insomnia can be a side effect of stress or depression and sometimes doctors try and treat the depression and hope that the sleeping pattern will regulate itself.

I know people who are very anti any medication. Ive taken anti depressants twice in my life. But there have been times in my life where Ive struggled on, because my doctors wouldnt help and I believe that some medication would have helped.

We are all individuals and as such have choices to make, but personally theres nothing worse than having life stuff to deal with and you cant sleep on top of that.

I would also mention the insomnia to your GP when you see them next.

As for other threads, you can only help people when you feel able to yourself. I dont think people sail through any breakup, even if its the right thing, theres always some emotional fall out.

If I were you I would also pick up the phone to HR as soon as possible. I understand that you need time out and you dont feel like going back home just now, but I agree, getting into a normal routine would probably help you. The longer you leave it, the harder you might find it to go back.

And in time you can always rent a new flat.

Thanks, Pauline. I will mention the insomnia to the doctor. I'm always reluctant to take any medication. I was offered sedatives and anti-depressants when my dad passed away suddenly, but refused them. I'd like to think that my sleep pattern will improve and that I should treat the cause rather than the symptoms. But I'll see what the doctor says. You're right, it's hard to deal with problems on very little sleep.

As for the other threads, I think that I'm trying to make myself useful and also 'pay it forward' (remember that film?). I've had such incredible support on this thread and I want to help others who are having similar difficulties.

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

Yes I too agree that you should perhaps think about contacting HR soon. I know you said you boss is understanding but the sooner you get back to normality the better. Have you thought any idea in your mind as to when you might return to work even if you go back on a phased return ?

It could keep your mind occupied. When I went through a pretty disasterous and stressful time in the past being in work helped me and I found even though I was not firing on all cylinders being in work and doing something productive helped, and you will be around people who care and will offer you support.

Not pushing you back but as previous poster says the longer you stay off the much harder it will be in going back.

I do hope the rash clears up soon and you are able to move back to your flat and try to get back to a normal life.

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

Hope you are ok Tay as havent seen any postings for a bit. Keep smiling if possible

Thanks, pinkladyof66. A phased return could be a good idea. I think that I need to fix a date for it soon. Maybe in another week or two? If I could get some decent sleep, that would be half the battle.

I'm dreading going back as I'm pretty sure that there'll be tears - and for someone like me, that's not good. I've always been one for a stiff upper lip, professional demeanour in the office. I hate the thought of letting that slip, I really do. I even cried on the phone to the welfare lady this morning.

tesuhoha

I actually think it might be good for you to get back to work. While you are at home you are thinking of your situation all the time and it is never off your mind. At least at work you are taken out of yourself and have to think of other things, talk to colleagues. Also, getting back into a routine would be a good thing. Being at home just saps your mind. Believe me, I am retired due to redundancy and I would love to have my old job back. It would be worse if I was in a situation like yours with plenty of time to brood.

Maybe after the initial shock of the breakup you needed time out but now I think you need to do something that challenges you a bit, that makes you tired and glad to come home and put your feet up. I think work will help you. Work is healthy for the mind. No good to stay at home brooding about everything. That's just my opinion anyway.

tesuhoha

As for the rash, try giving up wheat for a while. It might help.