FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

duckeggblue

I have been so pleased to see you getting back to being you. It's an amazing journey for us all. Sometimes the road has a few twists and turns. I have found , partly due to the process of getting to understand whats happened, and partly to womens intuition , and partly to this thread, that I am developing a sixth sense about friends who have been through the same. I've made a lovely new friend, a neighbour, who last night , after a water leak emergency, chatting over a few glasses of wine, we've been through exactly the same, more or less and it's been therapeutic to us both to share a few stories. So, lovely new friend I can pop in for a chat when I want and vice versa. This is going to be the best summer ever.:)
Interesting a few points. She told me how when she first left her ex she was sleeping on the edge of the bed, then suddenly one night she she suddely realised woohoo-I can sleep in the middle if I want! I'm setting myself liitle tasks right now-go for a walk into town in the sun instead of using the car. Haircut and colour today.Paint up some shabby chic furniture. Cook some lovely food for my freezer, this week I'm going to try to do most of these.

tayforth

Morning!

How is everyone? I still feel a bit bunged up, but nothing some cold and flu remedy won't sort out, I hope.

I had another good sleep last night (thanks, antihistamines). This morning, I stripped the beds and put on the brand new bedlinen. It looks fab, I must say. I've also done a bit more decluttering upstairs, and added a few feminine touches.

nerak_y wrote: »

Hiya Tayforth!
I have just spent the last hour catching up, I have had the cold from hell for the last few days so not been online much!

Great news your doc signed you off, exactly what you need to gather your thoughts and have some 'me time' to reorganise your lovely independent new life!

I have a feeling your mum has an inkling, whether she does or doesn't I am sure she would just want to give you a hug and some support (and a telling off for keeping it to yourself). Funnily enough, my mum had just died when my ex got right into showing his true colours, and I had no choice but to turn to my dad as mum was gone. We had never been that close, and he had just gone through hell but my god, he was there for me despite that and we are so close now. So yes, the support from family is worth opening up to and I will be glad for you once the wedding is complete and you can really grasp what's happened with the support of your family!

Bug hugs to you super strong lady! xx

Thanks nerak_y! Sorry to hear that you've been ill. And thanks for sharing that story. Family will always rally round, and it's touching that your dad was so supportive and lovely. :A

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

Wow, you're doing so well! Really pleased you've got the telling your mum out the way, that'll be a load off your mind! It will all get better and better as time goes on too. I really think women often cope better than men with separations. We put up with so much that it's pure relief when they finally go!

I finally put my new bed together last night, after getting my new carpet yesterday. Youngest and I put it together all by ourselves, with no arguments, no stress. I hated doing anything DIY related with him!

So then I had a shower, put my lovely clean sheets on and climbed into my lovely 'all for me' new bed and actually laughed out loud to myself at how good my life is now. And then this morning I woke up, looked around and beamed again!

I've been happy ever since he left, but as I said to a friend yesterday, I feel even better lately. Don't know if it's the fact that it's over a year, or anything else(!) but now that I've realised again how happy and full life is, I am so sad that I spent so long in a lonely bad place. Everyone should feel like I do at the moment!

Oh, I love this post! I can almost feel the positivity radiating out of you. And fresh sheets are always good xx

tayforth

rockie4 wrote: »

Wow you are brill :T Got in the shed, sorted out the tv (almost) new bedding You go girl!!!!!!

I'm sure your Mum will be ok, Mums often suss out more than you think.....I know mine always did *rolls eyes* but make sure you enjoy the weekend first

Daisy's post about the 'freedom moment' - I can sooooo identify with that!!! A few weeks ago OH went to stay at a mates (supposedly to give me some space but I know know what he was really doing :mad: ) I went out with my friend and for the first time in years came home knowing that I was walking into an empty house with no one to comment on what time it was or how much I had had to drink.......well, I did get a dirty look off the cat for leaving her alone all night but I can cope with that!

Look to the positives I like that! That's what I'm doing and that's what you must do. Life can only get better and better :eek:

Thanks. I fully intend to enjoy this weekend. I've been so looking forward to my sister's big day and it's going to be a wonderful family celebration

LOL at your cat giving you a dirty look! :rotfl:

duckeggblue wrote: »

I have been so pleased to see you getting back to being you. It's an amazing journey for us all. Sometimes the road has a few twists and turns. I have found , partly due to the process of getting to understand whats happened, and partly to womens intuition , and partly to this thread, that I am developing a sixth sense about friends who have been through the same. I've made a lovely new friend, a neighbour, who last night , after a water leak emergency, chatting over a few glasses of wine, we've been through exactly the same, more or less and it's been therapeutic to us both to share a few stories. So, lovely new friend I can pop in for a chat when I want and vice versa. This is going to be the best summer ever.:)
Interesting a few points. She told me how when she first left her ex she was sleeping on the edge of the bed, then suddenly one night she she suddely realised woohoo-I can sleep in the middle if I want! I'm setting myself liitle tasks right now-go for a walk into town in the sun instead of using the car. Haircut and colour today.Paint up some shabby chic furniture. Cook some lovely food for my freezer, this week I'm going to try to do most of these.

Oh, that's lovely that you've bonded with your neighbour. My next door neighbours are lovely, and we've always said hello and exchanged pleasantries, but that's about it. We couldn't really talk. Because I knew, and they knew, what was going on, but we were all too embarrassed to say it out loud.

I felt a huge sense of relief after being able to talk to them about it the other night. Now that the ex is gone, we can all acknowledge it and be glad that it's over. I hope that we will become proper friends too.

Those all sound like lovely tasks! I love crafts and shabby chic, I have a few half-finished projects that I must revisit.

And good luck at the hairdresser! Going for a change?

spirit

You sound really postive and happy Tay. :j

Is the rash going now?

I bet you are looking forward to your sister's day, what are you wearing? Are you chief bridesmaid?

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

You sound really postive and happy Tay. :j

Is the rash going now?

I bet you are looking forward to your sister's day, what are you wearing? Are you chief bridesmaid?

The rash is getting worse if anything! But it's not on my arms and legs, so that's good. I can't have my hair up as it's on my neck, but a nice blow dry will be fine, plus a bit of extra makeup over it.

No, I'm not a BM, thank goodness!!!! The rash is bad enough, but having to stand up in front of everyone is the last thing I'd need ATM. My sister is having her best friend as BM.

And yes, I'm really looking forward to it xx

paulineb_2

What kind of rash is it, allergy? Eczema? I have allergies and very sensitive skin. Sometimes you are better with a cream than pills. I know a lot of people swear by e45 but I cant tolerate the stuff, someone posted about a cream on another board that really helped their kids eczema.

I'll shove up the link, also, Id think twice about putting make up on a rash.

paulineb_2

http://www.laroche-posay.com/product...-B5-p5636.aspx

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

What kind of rash is it, allergy? Eczema? I have allergies and very sensitive skin. Sometimes you are better with a cream than pills. I know a lot of people swear by e45 but I cant tolerate the stuff, someone posted about a cream on another board that really helped their kids eczema.

I'll shove up the link, also, Id think twice about putting make up on a rash.

The doctor reckons that it's a stress-related rash (urticaria?). He's given me cream as well as tablets.

I know that I shouldn't put makeup on it, but for the day of the wedding I'm going to have to.

EDIT: thanks for the link xxx

Brighton_belle

I wouldn't worry that the rash hasn't gone yet - it will take time for the stress to work through fully and a few days isn't long enough. Give it a month on doing what you are doing: nurturing yourself. Once your split is fully in the open, that will help too.

tayforth

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I wouldn't worry that the rash hasn't gone yet - it will take time for the stress to work through fully and a few days isn't long enough. Give it a month on doing what you are doing: nurturing yourself. Once your split is fully in the open, that will help too.

Thank you. I know, and I'm not really worried about it. The timing is a PITA with the wedding in 2 days, but as I said it's not on my arms and legs, so it's ok.

I've got 30 days' worth of tablets and it says that the cream could take a month to get rid of it fully, so I'll be patient.