FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Peanut2013

There main thing was they noticed how much I changed, I went into my shell completely and became very quiet and distant. Would only speak to them once a month if lucky? Would never make jokes or 'hang out' or anything. They still say now it's not they didn't like him, they didn't like what he made me become.

Now I see them 5 days a week, even if just to pop in for a cup of tea. We're constantly laughing, helping each other etc etc.

The comment about your mum being at ease with your sisters fiance also rings true. My dad has commented that with my now OH he feels like he's known him forever and truly thinks of him as a son (we're not married yet). My mum has commented she couldn't think of a better person to father her grandchild

Same from friends, the amount that have mentioned how they've got the 'old me' back and they like it

swampduck

tayforth wrote: »

I already get the impression that my mum doesn't like him that much. She'd never say, but I just think so. She seems a lot more relaxed and at ease around my sister's fiance, which makes sense because he's nicer!!!

People will never say anything and when they do - they surprise you! My late dad was such a person - I had been married for 19 years when I split up from my husband. My dad (bless him!) had never thought he was right for me but kept quiet all those years!! and never said a word until we divorced.

Swampy

tayforth

Peanut2013 wrote: »

There main thing was they noticed how much I changed, I went into my shell completely and became very quiet and distant. Would only speak to them once a month if lucky? Would never make jokes or 'hang out' or anything. They still say now it's not they didn't like him, they didn't like what he made me become.

Now I see them 5 days a week, even if just to pop in for a cup of tea. We're constantly laughing, helping each other etc etc.

The comment about your mum being at ease with your sisters fiance also rings true. My dad has commented that with my now OH he feels like he's known him forever and truly thinks of him as a son (we're not married yet). My mum has commented she couldn't think of a better person to father her grandchild

Same from friends, the amount that have mentioned how they've got the 'old me' back and they like it

Awwwww. And it's lovely that you've rediscovered their company, what a positive outcome. :A

As for their comments about your OH, that's really sweet.

I want the old me back too.

swampduck wrote: »

tayforth wrote: »

I already get the impression that my mum doesn't like him that much. She'd never say, but I just think so. She seems a lot more relaxed and at ease around my sister's fiance, which makes sense because he's nicer!!!

People will never say anything and when they do - they surprise you! My late dad was such a person - I had been married for 19 years when I split up from my husband. My dad (bless him!) had never thought he was right for me but kept quiet all those years!! and never said a word until we divorced.

Swampy

Wow. 19 years. Just goes to show you!

I'd like to think that my dad would have made it clear if he didn't like my ex. But you can't be sure. Dad never knew him, he passed away before the ex and I met.

paulineb_2

tayforth wrote: »

By the way, if anyone is wondering - I haven't heard from Sam yet.

And that is possibly a very good thing. You need to work through all the stuff you have been through lately and that might take time to get over.

Also, he may have his reasons for not wanting to get in touch, not wanting to intrude, its possible I think that you said he has a mutual friend of yours and maybe in time you could ask people on a day out or night out and include him and see how the land lies.

But, I think you need to be very careful, because if your feelings arent returned, you might up getting very hurt and going through upset in a short space of time. I know how Ive felt in the past when things havent gone well in a relationship or friendship, theres only so much stuff you can take on and deal with. Even though your ex was awful to you, it was 7 years of your life and what you are feeling just now is natural, but it might take a few months for you to bounce back and if I were you, Id take that time to be on my own before contemplating a relationship with anyone, not just Sam, anyone.

Theres a big wide world out there and lots of people in it to meet in your future.

duckeggblue

So glad you've been to the doc and got signed off. I think we were all getting a bit concerned for you,now lots of long lie-ins to get some of that stress out x

jenhug

I am really pleased you have been signed off, what a relief! Now, I suggest you use some of your savings to really pamper yourself this week. Aromatherapy massage, reflexology, manicure, pedicure, facial. Really spoil yourself. Try and put him to the back of your mind as much as possible, but just think to yourself if you can't help but think of him, the more you spend on yourself the less he can claim if he tries to take half your savings!

I hope you have a lovely day at your sisters wedding, are you a bridesmaid?

tayforth

paulineb wrote: »

And that is possibly a very good thing. You need to work through all the stuff you have been through lately and that might take time to get over.

Also, he may have his reasons for not wanting to get in touch, not wanting to intrude, its possible I think that you said he has a mutual friend of yours and maybe in time you could ask people on a day out or night out and include him and see how the land lies.

But, I think you need to be very careful, because if your feelings arent returned, you might up getting very hurt and going through upset in a short space of time. I know how Ive felt in the past when things havent gone well in a relationship or friendship, theres only so much stuff you can take on and deal with. Even though your ex was awful to you, it was 7 years of your life and what you are feeling just now is natural, but it might take a few months for you to bounce back and if I were you, Id take that time to be on my own before contemplating a relationship with anyone, not just Sam, anyone.

Theres a big wide world out there and lots of people in it to meet in your future.

Thanks, and you're right. And maybe it won't happen. Most probably it won't. I'm realistic enough to know that.

And I definitely do need time to myself. Just being in the house on my own is so peaceful. I need to get used to this, and just be by myself.

I have so many plans over the next few weeks. I'm thinking about how the bedroom should look. I've dug out an old (v. pretty) lamp for the spare room, as I'm still in it. I'm going to rescue some of my nice vintage finds that the ex hated, and have them on display.

duckeggblue wrote: »

So glad you've been to the doc and got signed off. I think we were all getting a bit concerned for you,now lots of long lie-ins to get some of that stress out x

Thanks so much, duckeggblue. :A I've just popped an antihistamine (prescribed for the rash), apparently they make you sleepy, here's hoping!

busiscoming2

Peanut2013 wrote: »

Distractions can be good Lol

Glad to hear your doing well Tay, so proud of you

I know what you mean about the 'people coming forward with true feelings about your ex', that happened a lot to me. My parents was the biggest surprise, was convinced they adored him and would be annoyed we'd split. Quite the opposite really... lol

Ditto for me too.

My Mum detested him but did a good job of keeping her feelings in check. I also found out what my friends really thought of him too. They say love is blind and in my case it was!

tayforth

jenhug wrote: »

I am really pleased you have been signed off, what a relief! Now, I suggest you use some of your savings to really pamper yourself this week. Aromatherapy massage, reflexology, manicure, pedicure, facial. Really spoil yourself. Try and put him to the back of your mind as much as possible, but just think to yourself if you can't help but think of him, the more you spend on yourself the less he can claim if he tries to take half your savings!

I hope you have a lovely day at your sisters wedding, are you a bridesmaid?

:rotfl:

Thanks jenhug.

I'm not a BM, she wanted her best friend since childhood and I didn't mind a bit As it turns out, I'm very glad - it'll be tricky enough to get through it without all the attention and duties that go with being a BM!! But I'm determined to enjoy it to the full and not let anything spoil it

I can't have a massage with this bl00dy rash lol, but a facial would be nice Thanks for the suggestion xxx

tayforth

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Ditto for me too.

My Mum detested him but did a good job of keeping her feelings in check. I also found out what my friends really thought of him too. They say love is blind and in my case it was!

Jeez, looks like I could be in for some revelations then! :rotfl: How did your mum keep it to herself?