FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

Heffi1

I definitely agree about taking things slowly, and looking after yourself Tay, I wish I had done that when my marriage fell apart, but I thought I have an important job to do, and soldiered on for 6 months, then one day at work I burst into tears for no reason whatsoever and I could not stop. I took myself off to the Drs and like you cried for what felt like ages and the Dr signed me off for a month, I was absolutely gobsmacked, in fact I felt a bit of a fraud at the time as I did not see myself as being unwell.

I have depression and I was managing fine with everything, work was mad busy, but it always had been like that so I didn't see that as being the problem, my marriage as I have mentioned earlier in the thread was a disaster, but again I did not see that as a problem.

I think one day it dawned on me that I no longer had to lie to people about how wonderful my husband was and I could for the first time tell the truth. An added burden for me was that I was the PA to my ex husbands boss, which sounds difficult, but wasn't. So everyone knew him and I thought they all loved him, turns out they didn't really, but could not tell me while I was married to him !!

Time is a great healer, and I do believe this, as long as you take the time to look after your own health now when it is giving you warning signs, listen to your body and do as much or as little as you feel up to.

The dust will still be there whether you clean it today or next week.

tayforth

Heffi1 wrote: »

I definitely agree about taking things slowly, and looking after yourself Tay, I wish I had done that when my marriage fell apart, but I thought I have an important job to do, and soldiered on for 6 months, then one day at work I burst into tears for no reason whatsoever and I could not stop. I took myself off to the Drs and like you cried for what felt like ages and the Dr signed me off for a month, I was absolutely gobsmacked, in fact I felt a bit of a fraud at the time as I did not see myself as being unwell.

I have depression and I was managing fine with everything, work was mad busy, but it always had been like that so I didn't see that as being the problem, my marriage as I have mentioned earlier in the thread was a disaster, but again I did not see that as a problem.

I think one day it dawned on me that I no longer had to lie to people about how wonderful my husband was and I could for the first time tell the truth. An added burden for me was that I was the PA to my ex husbands boss, which sounds difficult, but wasn't. So everyone knew him and I thought they all loved him, turns out they didn't really, but could not tell me while I was married to him !!

Time is a great healer, and I do believe this, as long as you take the time to look after your own health now when it is giving you warning signs, listen to your body and do as much or as little as you feel up to.

The dust will still be there whether you clean it today or next week.

Thank you. And I like your style re dusting!

I too feel like a fraud being off work, even now that my body is showing signs of stress. But I'm incapable of keeping the stiff upper lip in place after yesterday. It's probably better that I have a break, rather than breaking down in the office. I've cried a lot today, and over the past 3 weeks. Always in private, though.

And I need to be all right for my sister's wedding, that's the most important thing to me right now. If I'd stayed at work all week, I might be like a coiled spring by the weekend. This way, I'll rest and get my head together.

A couple of people have said the same to me about my ex, funny how it all comes out when you split up. It doesn't really matter to me, it's just interesting to hear.

((((Hugs)))) to you xxx

tayforth

By the way, if anyone is wondering - I haven't heard from Sam yet.

busiscoming2

tayforth wrote: »

By the way, if anyone is wondering - I haven't heard from Sam yet.

Would he have heard that you have split with your ex yet?

It's probably for the best at the moment. You need time to adjust, get well, see through the wedding and telling your mum first.

Otherwise it might be too much for you to handle just yet.

tayforth

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Would he have heard that you have split with your ex yet?

It's probably for the best at the moment. You need time to adjust, get well, see through the wedding and telling your mum first.

Otherwise it might be too much for you to handle just yet.

I don't know whether he's heard. I'd be surprised if he hasn't. But you never know.

And I know, I don't need all that ATM. But I'd like to keep him as a friend if nothing else.

We'll see what happens.

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

By the way, if anyone is wondering - I haven't heard from Sam yet.

Probably a good thing for the moment.

Everything comes to those who wait.

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

Probably a good thing for the moment.

Everything comes to those who wait.

Well, for the moment, it's a nice distraction to think about him now and then.

spirit

tayforth wrote: »

Well, for the moment, it's a nice distraction to think about him now and then.

absolutely, and great fun too

Peanut2013

Distractions can be good Lol

Glad to hear your doing well Tay, so proud of you

I know what you mean about the 'people coming forward with true feelings about your ex', that happened a lot to me. My parents was the biggest surprise, was convinced they adored him and would be annoyed we'd split. Quite the opposite really... lol

tayforth

Peanut2013 wrote: »

Distractions can be good Lol

Glad to hear your doing well Tay, so proud of you

I know what you mean about the 'people coming forward with true feelings about your ex', that happened a lot to me. My parents was the biggest surprise, was convinced they adored him and would be annoyed we'd split. Quite the opposite really... lol

I already get the impression that my mum doesn't like him that much. She'd never say, but I just think so. She seems a lot more relaxed and at ease around my sister's fiance, which makes sense because he's nicer!!!

What did your parents say?

And thanks so much xxx