FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

lostinrates

tayforth wrote: »

Yes. She'll still be there when I have to leave on Monday, so I can't tell them then.

I would tell your mother while your sister is away. Let her come to terms with it, not cloud your sister's day and perhaps allow your mother some time to see you before she is expected to ooooh over any honeymoon pics.

I really think the longer you exercise this control the harder it will be to get over, the harder you are making on yourself, and ultimately, the more 'hurt' your family will feel at not being allowed to support you.

spirit

Can you organise yourself some treats for after the wedding?

Your focus naturally has been on getting throught this but what happens after? Can you book a weekend or day spa with a good friend perhaps or whatever takes your fancy. Just so you have some nice things to look forward to after the weekend.

tayforth

lostinrates wrote: »

I would tell your mother while your sister is away. Let her come to terms with it, not cloud your sister's day and perhaps allow your mother some time to see you before she is expected to ooooh over any honeymoon pics.

I really think the longer you exercise this control the harder it will be to get over, the harder you are making on yourself, and ultimately, the more 'hurt' your family will feel at not being allowed to support you.

I know. There's probably no good time to do it.

I'll probably go down the weekend after the wedding. That'll give her time to enjoy the post-wedding stuff, and also time to recover before my sis gets back from HM.

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

Can you organise yourself some treats for after the wedding?

Your focus naturally has been on getting throught this but what happens after? Can you book a weekend or day spa with a good friend perhaps or whatever takes your fancy. Just so you have some nice things to look forward to after the weekend.

I'll have a think about it. I could probably use a break from here, from this house. So yes, perhaps I will do something like that. Thank you xxx

Hezzawithkids

Just dropping in to say you've earned a day off Tay after what you've been through lately, time to get used to the idea of putting yourself first!

Have you though yet what and when you are going to tell your employer (if anything at all)? I suppose it depends on your manager but I know that when I ran a team if anything as life-changing as this had happened to my people I would want to know. As a friend first and foremost and a shoulder to cry on if needed but also using the system to help you recover - flexible hours, time off, any kind of leeway to help you adjust to your new circumstances. Does your company have a employee assistance scheme of any kind? You may be able to get free counselling as well as free legal advice.

vandanfc

tayforth wrote: »

I was surfing the Argos site yesterday for TVs, actually. Is this a good deal?

http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10151&catalogId=10001&langId=110&productId=560560

The reviews look good, what about playing your dvd's, do you have a player or need one ?

For a little more money Tesco have their own brand ones with built in dvd players.

tayforth

Hezzawithkids wrote: »

Just dropping in to say you've earned a day off Tay after what you've been through lately, time to get used to the idea of putting yourself first!

Have you though yet what and when you are going to tell your employer (if anything at all)? I suppose it depends on your manager but I know that when I ran a team if anything as life-changing as this had happened to my people I would want to know. As a friend first and foremost and a shoulder to cry on if needed but also using the system to help you recover - flexible hours, time off, any kind of leeway to help you adjust to your new circumstances. Does your company have a employee assistance scheme of any kind? You may be able to get free counselling as well as free legal advice.

Thanks so much xxx

There is a welfare service at work (never used it to date), and I suppose that I'll have to tell my manager sooner or later. I'm just so relieved that I don't have to go in today, I'm so exhausted.

vandanfc wrote: »

The reviews look good, what about playing your dvd's, do you have a player or need one ?

For a little more money Tesco have their own brand ones with built in dvd players.

Thanks for that, vandanfc. Yes, I do have a DVD player already

I've reserved one near me, hopefully a friend can give me a lift to get it xx

Estateprincess

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I think you are a very brave, strong and courageous lady.

I have finally got to the end of the thread and think you have shown yourself to be a much much much better person than your ex could ever hope to be.

Keep your head held high - you've done the right thing and will benefit from this decision for the rest of your life!

Congratulations on the start of the rest of your life!

All the best for the future xx

tayforth

Estateprincess wrote: »

Hi,

I just wanted to say that I think you are a very brave, strong and courageous lady.

I have finally got to the end of the thread and think you have shown yourself to be a much much much better person than your ex could ever hope to be.

Keep your head held high - you've done the right thing and will benefit from this decision for the rest of your life!

Congratulations on the start of the rest of your life!

All the best for the future xx

Hi Estateprincess, and thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot to me. I'm honoured that you've read the whole thread, and grateful to you for posting and giving me encouragement.

xxx

Estateprincess

tayforth wrote: »

Hi Estateprincess, and thanks for the kind words, they mean a lot to me. I'm honoured that you've read the whole thread, and grateful to you for posting and giving me encouragement.

xxx

It's no problem and no less than you deserve after what you have gone through.

I had an ex that wasn't making me happy for a long time but I was scared of what would happen if I left, I doubted myself. He was nowhere near as horrible as your ex but he did knock my confidence and it took a long time for me to realise I was worth more than he would commit to. I now have a wonderful man that boosts my confidence almost daily and makes me feel like a princess! With time and healing you will have that too.

x