FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

lostinrates

tayforth wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl:

Thank you, and I will try my best to get some sleep. I've tidied up the bedrooms a bit, and that helps. Housework has fallen by the wayside recently!

It's strange, this evening has been peaceful but at the same time I'm aware of the empty house. I've never lived alone before, you see.

I miss living alone. Or at least part time living alone (I love my husband but he is only here at weekends, but now I have a resident parent).

You can have the radio on which ever station you like...(on sleepiness nights radio four extra helps me a little, but not as mush as a self hypnosis recording...if you have a mobile device there are a few free to download ones...might be worth a try?)

You can eat at odd times of day, odd combinations of food, and tailored to your tastes. You can wear your favourite party dress with wellipy socks, and no one sees to raise an eyebrow.

tayforth

lostinrates wrote: »

I miss living alone. Or at least part time living alone (I love my husband but he is only here at weekends, but now I have a resident parent).

You can have the radio on which ever station you like...(on sleepiness nights radio four extra helps me a little, but not as mush as a self hypnosis recording...if you have a mobile device there are a few free to download ones...might be worth a try?)

You can eat at odd times of day, odd combinations of food, and tailored to your tastes. You can wear your favourite party dress with wellipy socks, and no one sees to raise an eyebrow.

Well, ok, there's that. I always did enjoy having the house to myself for an evening, though it was such a rare thing. I might have to read the 'best things about living alone' thread again for more inspiration and cheering up.

But however strange it feels and however lonely I may get in the coming weeks and months, I know that I'm better off than I was.

duchy

Alpha58 wrote: »

.

Don't use the shared PC, buy yourself a used laptop. Best think to do is destroy the PC unless you can have it professionally "cleaned" although there will probably still be data traces. Don't take the chance - nothing sinister, just common sense and also another shared possession to dispose of, along with any memories, electronic or real!.

What utter nonsense

There is absolutely no need to destroy a perfectly good PC -a format will cost anything from £40 to £60 in a PC shop-free if done by a PC capable friend and is more than adequate if Tay has any doubts after running a Malware program.

(I do work in this field so do understand what is knee jerk panic and what is a sensible precaution)

moneysaymoneydo

Tayforth - Has ex OH been in contact lately? just curious as have just popped in or are you getting peace to sort your head out!

tayforth

duchy wrote: »

What utter nonsense

There is absolutely no need to destroy a perfectly good PC -a format will cost anything from £40 to £60 in a PC shop-free if done by a PC capable friend and is more than adequate if Tay has any doubts after running a Malware program.

(I do work in this field so do understand what is knee jerk panic and what is a sensible precaution)

I've run both the quick and the full scan on Malwarebytes, and nothing has shown up. Am I safe???

moneysaymoneydo wrote: »

Tayforth - Has ex OH been in contact lately? just curious as have just popped in or are you getting peace to sort your head out!

No, he hasn't, and I'm so glad. I am enjoying the peace. Only wish that I hadn't married him, then that would be it - no formalities to sort out.

marisco_2

lostinrates wrote: »

There is some solace in acting legally, morally and honestly for me. Sure, it cost some, but it also took me to a place in life I could hold my head up high (priceless). The funny thing is, when you can hold your head up high you can see all the people on the level who are willing you on, and smiling.

Have to say I totally agree with this. I took a financial hit when leaving my ex but in choosing to move on with integrity it made the split easier for me. I was totally self reliant and standing on my own two feet in very little time, something I was proud of and it felt good.

tayforth

marisco wrote: »

Have to say I totally agree with this. I took a financial hit when leaving my ex but in choosing to move on with integrity it made the split easier for me. I was totally self reliant and standing on my own two feet in very little time, something I was proud of and it felt good.

^^ This.

I can see where your sig comes from, you have an amazing attitude xxx

duchy

tayforth wrote: »

You can do this?




((((Hugs)))) to you. I hope that you feel better soon. I'm so honoured that my thread has helped you, what a lovely thing to hear. And why has your mother disowned you? xx




I'm stunned reading all of that. You have such a lot on your plate, and it sounds as if he was just draining the life out of you instead of giving you support. I'm sure that you're incredibly glad to be rid of him at last. The other woman is welcome to him.

You have absolutely done the right thing, and don't blame yourself for being the last to see it. I was the same, couldn't seem to break away, even while being belittled and manipulated all the time. How I let my ex stay in my life for so long I'll never know. But we live and learn, don't we?

Massive hugs xxx

I think Shegirl is amazing - but I do think a bad relationship can be a bit like banging your head repeatedly against a wall......You really don't realize how much it hurts til it stops and you realize what "normal" is again ...and then you are amazed how long it took you to realize ! (I too have the t-shirt -and steered clear of relationships for a long time as I didn't trust my judgement anymore -but am now with the sweetest most caring man who not only spoils me and treats me like a lady as well as a partner but also welcomes and accepts my ASD adult son -I'm blessed and he was worth waiting for)

paulineb_2

duchy wrote: »

What utter nonsense

There is absolutely no need to destroy a perfectly good PC -a format will cost anything from £40 to £60 in a PC shop-free if done by a PC capable friend and is more than adequate if Tay has any doubts after running a Malware program.

(I do work in this field so do understand what is knee jerk panic and what is a sensible precaution)

Im not sure what the need is to either destroy a pc or do anything with it. Ive only read posts briefly as Ive been offline a few days but what is the reason for running a spyware scan just because someone has split up with their partner?

We should all be running spyware scans as a matter of course anyway, my pc gets spyware just from being online every day, not always anything that would do it any harm, but its there nevertheless and I run scans frequently to get rid of tracing cookies.

I use superantispyware, I think its much better than ad aware or malaware bytes.

duchy

tayforth wrote: »

I've run both the quick and the full scan on Malwarebytes, and nothing has shown up. Am I safe???




.

Honestly -if it was me I'd feel safe and wouldn't bother with a hard drive format but you could also do that if you want to. Basically a PC shop will take off any stuff you want to keep (photos etc) then wipe your hard-drive clean and reinstall windows and reload your kept stuff.

Like I said I wouldn't bother but I can see why you might want to do this too after some of the scaremongering
I'd be happy with a Malwarebytes clean result though personally.