FINALLY DONE IT: Tayforth's new beginning

tayforth

mintymoneysaver wrote: »

You're doing really well, Tay. I can remember how tense I felt in the build up till telling people. I avoided the staffroom, taught my class, locked myself in my classroom and went home as soon as humanly possible.

Today I've laughed and joked with friends, had fun with my class, enjoyed my evening with my two girls and am currently ripping up a carpet and about to gloss a skirting board ready for my new look bedroom! What a difference a year makes...

Thanks. It's good to know that you felt the same. And your day sounds like enormous fun!

shegirl wrote: »

I was stunned realising and thinking about it.I should've known and done better,I'm a smart woman.Love doesn't half blinker you!

I think sometimes we hold on to what could have been or the good times there were and think that is what matters.:o

We sure do live and learn and I now know what I REALLY want

Yes. Along with everything else, I believed (hoped?) that things would improve. But I know now that they would probably have got worse.

tayforth

spirit wrote: »

you might want to run it by your solicitor friend, but yup I have known it done. I don't know if it would 'work' if you set up a new savings account in your maiden name or your mother's maiden name instead if you didn't want to 'lend' to family.

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by spirit
I do know of people who have moved money elsewhere as in 'given' to a trusted family member to 'look after' until after the divorce


There's not really any point.

Firstly, you say he knows what you have.

Secondly, when it comes to agreeing a financial settlement you are legally obliged to declare your assets e.g. savings. If you lie it is a criminal offence i.e. perverting the course of justice.

I'll leave it where it is. I have nothing to hide. And if he makes a claim on my savings, I'll make it known that he has done so, which won't go down well with his friends

.

lostinrates

Yorkie1 wrote: »

Quote:
Originally Posted by spirit
I do know of people who have moved money elsewhere as in 'given' to a trusted family member to 'look after' until after the divorce



There's not really any point.

Firstly, you say he knows what you have.

Secondly, when it comes to agreeing a financial settlement you are legally obliged to declare your assets e.g. savings. If you lie it is a criminal offence i.e. perverting the course of justice.

When I left my I abusive ex I had behaved during our relationship in some ways I was not proud of, not frightfully bad, but not perfectly right either.

When I made a new start I was determined that I would not repeat that behaviour. There is some solace in acting legally, morally and honestly for me. Sure, it cost some, but it also took me to a place in life I could hold my head up high (priceless). The funny thing is, when you can hold your head up high you can see all the people on the level who are willing you on, and smiling.

I know its a minority opinion when dealing with icky divorces, but imagine what people would say here if he admitted he were hiding money from you.

lostinrates

tayforth wrote: »

I'll leave it where it is. I have nothing to hide. And if he makes a claim on my savings, I'll make it known that he has done so, which won't go down well with his friends

.

Ah, this is while I was typing. I like the way you think, really I do.

lolavix

tayforth wrote: »

((((Hugs)))) to you. I hope that you feel better soon. I'm so honoured that my thread has helped you, what a lovely thing to hear. And why has your mother disowned you? xx

Thanks Hun. Very silly reason, she wants me to move out of the area I live in away from friends and spend another 50k+ on a new flat (completely impossible!). As I don't agree with her and have gone for what I can afford she wants nothing to do with me.

The joys of family eh!

Sounds like you have escaped though and have the rest of your life to look forward to now :-) keep positive! X

tayforth

lostinrates wrote: »

When I left my I abusive ex I had behaved during our relationship in some ways I was not proud of, not frightfully bad, but not perfectly right either.

When I made a new start I was determined that I would not repeat that behaviour. There is some solace in acting legally, morally and honestly for me. Sure, it cost some, but it also took me to a place in life I could hold my head up high (priceless). The funny thing is, when you can hold your head up high you can see all the people on the level who are willing you on, and smiling.

I know its a minority opinion when dealing with icky divorces, but imagine what people would say here if he admitted he were hiding money from you.

This is exactly my thinking as well. It means a lot to me to be able to hold my head up high and say that I've acted with integrity.

That's not to say that I'm willing to let him have any of my savings, just that I won't hide it, why should I?

Also, it'll look VERY bad if I say that I don't want anything from him and he starts making claims on my money.

lostinrates wrote: »

Ah, this is while I was typing. I like the way you think, really I do.

Awww xx

lolavix wrote: »

Thanks Hun. Very silly reason, she wants me to move out of the area I live in away from friends and spend another 50k+ on a new flat (completely impossible!). As I don't agree with her and have gone for what I can afford she wants nothing to do with me.

The joys of family eh!

Sounds like you have escaped though and have the rest of your life to look forward to now :-) keep positive! X

Thanks so much! And I don't understand why your mother is annoyed at you, where does she want you to move to? xx

MrsAtobe

Tay, have you managed to get some Rescue Remedy yet? Please do try it, it has helped me enormously.

tayforth

MrsAtobe wrote: »

Tay, have you managed to get some Rescue Remedy yet? Please do try it, it has helped me enormously.

Not yet. I must get some, thanks for the reminder xx

lostinrates

tayforth wrote: »

Not yet. I must get some, thanks for the reminder xx

I love rescue remedy, but find its only effective in larger doses, those three drops or whatever do nothing, but the whole bottle is about a shot:D:rotfl:

It helps lots of people, and just the act of taking care of oneself can help too.

I hope you get some sleep tonight. It would help a lot. It's not easy though.

tayforth

lostinrates wrote: »

I love rescue remedy, but find its only effective in larger doses, those three drops or whatever do nothing, but the whole bottle is about a shot:rotfl:

It helps lots of people, and just the act of taking care of oneself can help too.

I hope you get some sleep tonight. It would help a lot. It's not easy though.

:rotfl::rotfl:

Thank you, and I will try my best to get some sleep. I've tidied up the bedrooms a bit, and that helps. Housework has fallen by the wayside recently!

It's strange, this evening has been peaceful but at the same time I'm aware of the empty house. I've never lived alone before, you see.