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Partner refusing to discuss deed of trust!

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  • lika_86
    lika_86 Posts: 1,786 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    piglet74 wrote: »
    If you are 100% committed to him, and he to you, and you plan on being together "do death do us part", then you have no need to protect your investment,

    Sadly the divorce rate suggests otherwise, I doubt that many (if any) of those who marry but subsequently divorce went into the marriage considering it wouldn't be forever.
  • Turtle
    Turtle Posts: 999 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts
    piglet74 wrote: »
    Well tbh. I would not consider buying a house at the mo.. I just got rid of one.. And I will never buy again ;-) but that's just my story..

    If you are 100% committed to him, and he to you, and you plan on being together "do death do us part", then you have no need to protect your investment,

    If you think there is a chance that you will break up, or maybe things are rocky or whatever, well then I wouldn't be buying a house with him at all,

    Can you buy the house on your own?

    No one goes into these things thinking they will split up! It's just sensible to protect yourself IN CASE anything goes wrong.
  • Wobblydeb
    Wobblydeb Posts: 1,046 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Treevo wrote: »
    I would buy the house myself and not let his name appear anywhere near it. It sounds as if he said he'd sign anything in order to get you to go ahead with buying, but now thinks he can play on your emotions so you won't act sensibly so he can get his hands on your money.

    If he wasn't after your money, allowing you to protect it legally wouldn't be an issue at all.
    Bizarrely, he suggested this - or that I just arrange it and he will sign it. It seems that the conversation is what is upsetting him. :undecided
    piglet74 wrote: »
    Can you buy the house on your own?
    Yes, but I don't really want to. I already sold a place to move in with him. The house we are buying is a family home - not somewhere to live on my own.
    I've got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.
  • "If there is a chance you will break up"? anyone got a spare crystal ball for OP?
  • piglet74
    piglet74 Posts: 2,157 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If you can buy on your own, then do it.

    You don't want to buy alone.. He doesn't want to sign a deed of trust.. Someone is going to have to do something that they don't want to do or the house will never be bought.

    Can't you live in his home? If you were to put your 25% into his home would he be willing to acknowledge that?
  • bluesnake
    bluesnake Posts: 1,460 Forumite
    Compared to marriage, Russian Roulette offers better odds!
  • Toto
    Toto Posts: 6,680 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't buy a house with someone who wasn't prepared to sign the deed. I think it's far more negative to refuse. I get that he is saying he doesn't want to think about splitting up, but you are hardly likely to go to the bother of buying the house in the first place if you didn't think this relationship was a goer are you?

    No one knows what the future holds but I do know that divorce can get messy enough without the addition of fighting over a 25% deposit. He needs to either put up another 25% or sign the deed.
    :A
    :A
    "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein
  • Treevo
    Treevo Posts: 1,937 Forumite
    Wobblydeb wrote: »
    Bizarrely, he suggested this - or that I just arrange it and he will sign it. It seems that the conversation is what is upsetting him. :undecided

    So he suggested it (to demonstrate that he's not after your money) but when push comes to shove, he refuses to sign it (so he can manipulate you into giving him your money).

    It's classic manipulation. You may as well just give him the money and walk away.
  • claire16c
    claire16c Posts: 7,074 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I think I read someone asking a similar question on the house buying forum before, and they replied to say that once you've been married for more than around 2 years - anything you signed becomes irrelevant and your spouse is entitled to half.

    So if this person is your fianc! & you're marrying soon it might be pointless.

    I don't know if this is true or not but I'm sure that's what I read as a guy was wanting to do something similar with his fianc!e.
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,872 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    piglet74 wrote: »
    I'm sorry, but I am with him... It is negative, and its not a way I would like to start out,

    But its just my opinion,

    Hope it all works out for you both.

    I'm with you here. To me if that's the way you enter marriage then it seems very sad to me. :( I put three times more of the deposit into our home as I had more savings but that's what marriage is to us.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
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