Crying and more crying and she hasn't even gone yet!

Person_one

balletshoes wrote: »

just a guess - so that they're not constantly texting/bbming/fbing on them when they're supposed to be doing organised tour stuff? So that they are actually participating rather than just "there but not paying any attention because they are on their phone".

I think its far easier to implement a blanket ban rather than saying to each child "sure fine bring your phones but when I tell you not to use them, don't use them" Yeah right, that'll happen.

They have to learn at some point to carry a phone without being surgically attached to it, and when its appropriate and not for it to ring.

In fact, I think the idea that teenagers don't focus on anything else when they have a phone is a bit condescending. They are young adults and it would never be appropriate to confiscate phones from adults.

warehouse

OP, if she has wireless then a few emails would be nice both ways, perhaps she can attach some photos. Please let her know that a couple of times a week would be nice for you to hear from her, and do the same back, but please no pressure to contact every day.

Perhaps hide a letter in her luggage saying how you all hope she has a great time and to enjoy herself, not to worry about contacting you too much but to bring back some great memories etc?

Person_one

warehouse wrote: »

Perhaps hide a letter in her luggage saying how you all hope she has a great time and to enjoy herself, not to worry about contacting you too much but to bring back some great memories etc?

No! That would be so embarrassing if she was unpacking in front of friends!

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

They have to learn at some point to carry a phone without being surgically attached to it, and when its appropriate and not for it to ring.

In fact, I think the idea that teenagers don't focus on anything else when they have a phone is a bit condescending. They are young adults and it would never be appropriate to confiscate phones from adults.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one - the ban on phones being described is for under-16s. My DD has a phone, and when among her friends/peers she's pretty much glued to it (and so is everyone else). If she has no phone with her, I know I'm not going to have to remind her to put it away/switch it off because we're doing something else. She's well aware of how to put the phone on silent because thats what she does all day at school (she is not required to switch it off, another bugbear of mine but thats another topic).
Not to mention the potential cost of bills/credit running out in not time flat while being used abroad. I'm in my 40s, have run phone contracts and paygs for the last 20 years, but I'm still unsure about using smartphones abroad. Of course I can't speak for every teenager, but mine would tend to skim over any messages she got connecting to new networks etc.

GlasweJen

It might be harsh but the kids don't have ton come if they don't want to be without their phone for 14 days.

What was much harsher was keeping the remaining kids "locked down" in a field in Europe while police officers interviewed everyone. I was on the phone to the missing kids mum first breaking the news then asking if the child had any contact with anyone in this European country - mum said no.

The police traced messages from her phone and went through her home PC and eventually she was found almost a full 24 hours later.

It ruined the trip for everyone. I don't need to organise camps, trips, internationals and the like for kids and it takes a lot of planning and effort. I could have stopped after that but I didn't and we still go away but now there are rules. That child's mum was so worried she ended up on medication!

GlasweJen

Person one, if that child did not have her smart phone on her she would not have been able to make contact with a man who she ended up spending the night with under the age of 14. She told him of the whereabouts of our camp, and our plans for that day, he told her where to meet and she slipped away from the group.

We noticed within 15 minutes that she was missing and they were already gone! The person she was with had her turn her phone off so no one could contact her and the police couldn't track her.

viscachaz

Maybe a call to say she got there, but a call a DAY?! Poor girl will be absolutely cringing having to explain to her friends how at the age of 17, she can't go even a day without having to call her parents.. please just let her go (in both senses) and relax (her and you)!

Person_one

GlasweJen wrote: »

Person one, if that child did not have her smart phone on her she would not have been able to make contact with a man who she ended up spending the night with under the age of 14. She told him of the whereabouts of our camp, and our plans for that day, he told her where to meet and she slipped away from the group.

We noticed within 15 minutes that she was missing and they were already gone! The person she was with had her turn her phone off so no one could contact her and the police couldn't track her.

That is an incredibly extreme example, not the natural consequences of teenagers having their phones with them!

johnswife

My daughter went to New York with the college when she was about 17.
It was a shorter trip and we didn't hear anything until she returned.
With all my three daughters, when they are away, I imagine good things, picture them happy and smiling enjoying themselves. Thats how I cope.
she did have a mishap in New York but didn't tell me as she didn't want to worry me. (dont worry Stebiz, nothing major)
The thing is she coped with the situation and does make them more independent. I know now I still want to help them ( they are 23/21/19) and make everything right in their lives but you have to back off and let them make decisions for themselves.

stebiz

I think what a few are forgetting is that a mobile is always with most 'kids'. Even now at home we keep in touch one way or another - usually email.

I can't see how she couldn't find time to send a text - and the occasional call. It's not as if it's going to cost her anything. I'm guessing she'll probably do it late at night once she's settling down but if she doesn't that's not a big problem.