Crying and more crying and she hasn't even gone yet!

stebiz

balletshoes wrote: »

But you won't need to be doing any of that while she's away on holiday .

My daughter and I phone/text each other too, but not every day, because we see each other at home every day and chat then.

You don't want your daughter thinking she has a duty to call/contact you every day while she's away, do you? Of course if she wants to she should, and she's already told you that when she can, she'll call/email.

I can assure you that there is no obligation on her part to call me. I have made all the arrangements and credits if she so wishes. I've also said that I'll call her when she emails me to do so - as her request.

thorsoak

stebiz wrote: »

It really isn't a case like that. My Mum and Dad are in their 70's. Go to France next month. They call a few times. My wife when she's at work phones me. I phone her. My daughters text each other lots. We all go on holiday - extended family as well, together.

I'm not really too bothered about charges. I'm not skint. Although if cheap tariffs where there great. Seems to me like there are a few on here (not all) that enjoy their own company that much they don't share their lives with the family. Sad really.

I'm one of those who has criticised you for keeping your family on too tight a string - beware - it might break! I'm also the person who let her only daughter go to Singapore to live - some 6,500 miles away!

I still share my spread-out family's lives despite living on different continents - don't speak daily,but at least once a week. When my OH died 2 years they all came home - before he died - and stayed after for as long as they could.

Although part of me would love to keep them all close, I appreciate that they all have better lives by having moved away - and I get to see some parts of the world that I wouldn't otherwise. I'm off again in May (and I'm 70 - so not exactly a spring chicken myself!)

Sally_A

Woah! Everyone!!

Several posts back Stebiz admitted that both the parents had taken comments on board, and he was trying to "man up" to the situation.

I'd now be keener to know the "What to do if....."

Fell ill, broke a leg - good travel insurance!

Got lost in the dodgy end of town - get to a reputable looking shop, and readjust, hopefully all members have each others phone numbers and have etched the hotel address on their brains (take a card too, just in case of unconciousness).

On a plus point, all NY-ers talk the same language as us (ish).

ie...address your fears, I hate to use the words but Risk Assess them and have contingency plans in place.

Please Stebiz, let your daughter go unhindered by your emotions, I appreciate that NY is a long way away, techno gadegetry has made it closer.

I hope she has a great trip which will widen her horizons in more ways than one.

stebiz

Sally_A wrote: »

Woah! Everyone!!

Several posts back Stebiz admitted that both the parents had taken comments on board, and he was trying to "man up" to the situation.

I'd now be keener to know the "What to do if....."

Fell ill, broke a leg - good travel insurance!

Got lost in the dodgy end of town - get to a reputable looking shop, and readjust, hopefully all members have each others phone numbers and have etched the hotel address on their brains (take a card too, just in case of unconciousness).

On a plus point, all NY-ers talk the same language as us (ish).

ie...address your fears, I hate to use the words but Risk Assess them and have contingency plans in place.

Please Stebiz, let your daughter go unhindered by your emotions, I appreciate that NY is a long way away, techno gadegetry has made it closer.

I hope she has a great trip which will widen her horizons in more ways than one.

Some good points Sally. I've taken out some very good travel insurance for her. She's a sensible 'girl' but we will have a few words of advice before she goes. Like ANY decent parent would I hope.

marmitepotato

Stebiz, I think you have taken most of the advice given here. I hope your daughter has a fantastic time, and I hope you and your family enjoy seeing her updates on Facebook (if she does them). This separation is going to prepare you all for when she's does decide to move on in her life. Heaven knows I cried when my girl went to uni! But I made plans, set myself targets and treats, and got on with my life.Good luck to you all.

stebiz

marmitepotato wrote: »

Stebiz, I think you have taken most of the advice given here. I hope your daughter has a fantastic time, and I hope you and your family enjoy seeing her updates on Facebook (if she does them). This separation is going to prepare you all for when she's does decide to move on in her life. Heaven knows I cried when my girl went to uni! But I made plans, set myself targets and treats, and got on with my life.Good luck to you all.

Thanks marmite. I have learnt a lot from this thread and I will take things on board. And yes it will prepare me for when she leaves. Like has been said she is a young lady now, although she says that she will be studying locally, as doesn't want to go to a University far away. Her choice, even though I said I would pay for her digs if she did decide to move, although secretly hoping she'd stay.

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks marmite. I have learnt a lot from this thread and I will take things on board. And yes it will prepare me for when she leaves. Like has been said she is a young lady now, although she says that she will be studying locally, as doesn't want to go to a University far away. Her choice, even though I said I would pay for her digs if she did decide to move, although secretly hoping she'd stay.

Please make sure you keep it a secret! Living away at uni is completely different to staying at home, and is a completely irreplaceable experience for many young adults. Please don't let your 'secret' wishes affect her decision.

ViolaLass

stebiz wrote: »

Her choice, even though I said I would pay for her digs if she did decide to move, although secretly hoping she'd stay.

My mother was shocked when, at the age of 11, I told her that I had known about the breakdown of my parents' relationship for years. Just because you haven't said it, doesn't mean she doesn't know.

englishrose19

Man, crying?

Jesus.

[Deleted User]

I cried my eyes out when my son left home at 17 to join the army, even more so when he was in Afghanistan at 19. But not infront of him. Of course i didnt want him to go and he understood why, but i gave him my blessing. You have to let them go.... if you bring your children up to be independant adults, then youve done a very good job.