Crying and more crying and she hasn't even gone yet!

Br3891

Hi, new to this so not sure if I'm posting in the right place. I'm after having my name removed off the mortgage so my ex can take over the mortgage herself. The only trouble is the house is a homebuy scheme where an equity of 30% is provided to assist in buying the house. Where do I stand? Is it as simple as it sounds? I can't find much info on the net? I'm going to my solicitor but need some help first please. Thanks.

thorsoak

Sorry - but your post is on the wrong thread completely. Suggest you repost on the mortgages and endowments forum.

claire16c

I went round the world at 19 and being ten years ago we didn't have tri-band phones so we contacted our parents probably every 2 weeks from a pay phone & the odd text when it did work. In fact I'm not even sure it was that much! And that was just me & my friend. We weren't on an organised girl guide tour! Plus talking to your parents only makes you feel worse & more homesick. Stick to a couple of texts & emails & leave it at that.

lostinrates

claire16c wrote: »

! Plus talking to your parents only makes you feel worse & more homesick. Stick to a couple of texts & emails & leave it at that.

This is a crucial point for someone from as 'close' a family as OP's. for those of us with more independence as children the situation is baffling as we see how many opportunities we would have missed with out the freedom our parents gave us through their restraint when their feared for us and missed us, but I suppose for people like OP its a case of struggling to understand what can be missed if one has never had it.

midnightraven3

ImDoingItForMe wrote: »

I cried my eyes out when my son left home at 17 to join the army, even more so when he was in Afghanistan at 19. But not infront of him. Of course i didnt want him to go and he understood why, but i gave him my blessing. You have to let them go.... if you bring your children up to be independant adults, then youve done a very good job.

you are allowed to cry then, fighting in a war zone for your country when you are still a teen is a little different to a girl guide trip to new york:D

i think the OP has taken everyones comments on board and looking at things a little differently, good on you:)

marisco_2

You sound like fabulous parents. It really touched me when you said she hasn't gone yet and you are already missing her

My children are not at this stage yet. However between the ages of 17 and 23 I put my parents through exactly what you are going through now. I travelled extensively and I can still picture their faces as they waved me off from Gatwick and Heathrow. Waving like mad, telling me to get out there experience it all, have the most amazing time, yet privately dying with worry. The only time my dads cover cracked was when he waved me off on my travels to Russia. He told me years later that he questioned whether he would ever see me again. That trip of mine really turned him grey

All you can really do is trust that you have raised her well, instilled confidence and common sense into her and that she will be fine. She no doubt has good manners and social skills and will make friends out there, she wont be alone.

She will gain so very much from this experience. You may well find that when she has returned, you are welcoming a young lady back into your home who has blossomed into the person you have been helping her to become all these years

duchy

stebiz wrote: »

That's very harsh. It's a holiday/trip. How would you like to go abroad 'alone' ie no family, with no use of a phone/camera?

Like you were in Austria ?

Did YOU call home every day on that school trip.

You can buy cameras without phones attached too

duchy

stebiz wrote: »

I can assure you that there is no obligation on her part to call me. I have made all the arrangements and credits if she so wishes. I've also said that I'll call her when she emails me to do so - as her request.

OK I'm in the slightly exasperated camp but that aside....

What a teenager thinks they will want when away from home ..........and what the reality is when they are actually there may be entirely different.

A lot will depend on her friends-If they all call home -she will too-If they don't -she might not either. Neither says anything about how close she feels to you.

This trip isn't just a rite of passage for HER but for YOU too. I assume she's an only child or the eldest and you've not gone through this before.

She has the reassurance that if she needs to contact you she has the means - but just knowing that may be enough...and contact may be non existant or not as frequent as you'd like... and it'll mean you've raised a confident and self reliant secure young lady. Celebrate it !

stebiz

duchy wrote: »

Like you were in Austria ?

Did YOU call home every day on that school trip.

You can buy cameras without phones attached too

Actually I wasn't alone I was with my brother, which made it so much easier for me. Probably less so for my Mum. I did call home a few times.

jeanniebeanie_2

You have started 3 threads in the last few days about your anxieties over your 17 year old going on a short well supervised trip abroad. She is almost an adult who will soon be able to vote, leave home, get married or fight for her country all without your permission or blessing. You however, as a mature adult male seem to have chronic separation anxiety issues you are hiding under the guise of 'closeness'. I seriously think you need help. I say this as a parent of two in their early twenties.