Gutted

rpc

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

there's a part of me that just wants to text back and say "what the f*ck is any of this to do with you anymore?" but I don't want to do that.

That would be entirely the correct response although you would, of course, word it better - "our relationship has ended and so it is none of your business who I get jiggy with."

This is why you completely cut contact (been there, suffered).

"I don't want you but nobody else is allowed to have you either." Pfft. Regardless of how you felt in the past, she isn't worth this trouble.

Get on with life, enjoy the new girl, forget about the old one. And cut contact again. If she tries to get in touch again, just ignore her.

Orlando_Virgin

rpc wrote: »

That would be entirely the correct response although you would, of course, word it better - "our relationship has ended and so it is none of your business who I get jiggy with."

This is why you completely cut contact (been there, suffered).

"I don't want you but nobody else is allowed to have you either." Pfft. Regardless of how you felt in the past, she isn't worth this trouble.

Get on with life, enjoy the new girl, forget about the old one. And cut contact again. If she tries to get in touch again, just ignore her.

This is where I'm at now. I've not heard anything today, it's all gone quiet. I kind of hoped it would always end on the dignified note it once did, rather than have to go down this route. But I've got to do what's best suited to the situation.

tayforth

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

Thank you Tay:)

How are you, you bloody amaziing woman? I see you've been doing a spot of dating You have just hit the nail on the head, this "finding yourself" thing. I just don't get it. I understand that people change, you mature over time, go through difficult things and come out different, but fundamentally, what is "finding yourself?"

The kindest way I've ever been able to put it to her without saying "get a grip" has been, if you are questioning who you are as a person, you are not in a comfortable place in your life and are certainly not ready to take on something as big as a serious commitment to another person who is. If you're with the right person, surely you can't sit there questioning "who you are".

P.S. reading this thread from the beginning it is so refreshing to see how far I have come from the quite frankly, horrible place I was in March. Some of it kind of makes me cringe a little bit with how low I had gotten to.

You're absolutely right. If she's not happy in herself, then she can't be happy with anyone else. You should be utterly relieved that you are no longer with her.

It's probably good for you to read back and see how far you've come. I sometimes read the start of my thread and am amazed by how low I was. I hadn't read yours initially, so I'm doubly grateful (and humbled) that you were able to post supportive comments on my thread so soon after all this heartache. Thank you so much. :A

Yes, I've met someone new - it's very early days yet, but he seems lovely. I'm just enjoying his company, and there's a real spark between us. Life is good! Not just because of this new guy, but in general. I'm happy, I've rediscovered my own company and I feel at peace.

jscott05

So what has little miss perfect being doing since being single. Pay no attention to her as for accussing the other girl of fancying you well if she never broke up with you you wouldn't have got with her everything's her own doing. If she wasn't happy before she even less happy now. In a couple of week i don't think you will even think of your ex in the same light as you do just now how spiteful she can't be happy that you have moved on after she finished with you.

elona

Did you ever read the fable about the dog who grabbed a huge bone and ran off with it in its mouth?

It ran to the side of the river where it saw another dog like it with what looked like a bigger bone in its mouth so he barked loudly, the bone fell out of its mouth as he was looking at his reflection and was left with nothing.

Sounds as if she was no happier without you and finally realising what she threw away she got back to where she had left you and discovered you had the temerity not to grovel at her feet but to have found someone else as well.

Orlando_Virgin

Bit of an update. She text me yesterday basically harping on about she hopes me and my new Mrs are happy together and that obviously the 3 years we had together were a farce and everything I said was meaningless now.

I text back saying I was truly shocked and disappointed to learn her true character was seeming to be nothing short of spiteful, bitter and twisted. Surrounded by unhappiness she has turned on me to try and make it better, then found out I had moved on and became unjustifiably angry. I added that whilst I don't regret any of the time we spent together as I was happy, what has happened since has been nothing short of embarrassing on her behalf and that I deserve better. Please don't contact me again!

gunsandbanjos

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

Bit of an update. She text me yesterday basically harping on about she hopes me and my new Mrs are happy together and that obviously the 3 years we had together were a farce and everything I said was meaningless now.

I text back saying I was truly shocked and disappointed to learn her true character was seeming to be nothing short of spiteful, bitter and twisted. Surrounded by unhappiness she has turned on me to try and make it better, then found out I had moved on and became unjustifiably angry. I added that whilst I don't regret any of the time we spent together as I was happy, what has happened since has been nothing short of embarrassing on her behalf and that I deserve better. Please don't contact me again!

Her text runs along the lines of what my now ex husband said to me when I ended our relationship. What a knob he was I now realise.

Your last bit sounds like you're in a good place now, well done. Hope you find happiness with someone who is good enough for you.

Orlando_Virgin

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

Her text runs along the lines of what my now ex husband said to me when I ended our relationship. What a knob he was I now realise.

Your last bit sounds like you're in a good place now, well done. Hope you find happiness with someone who is good enough for you.

This ridiculous past few days I've actually helped to be honest. I would never have seen this side of her if it wasn't for the fact I had moved on! Funny how it turns out!

tara747

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

Bit of an update. She text me yesterday basically harping on about she hopes me and my new Mrs are happy together and that obviously the 3 years we had together were a farce and everything I said was meaningless now.

I text back saying I was truly shocked and disappointed to learn her true character was seeming to be nothing short of spiteful, bitter and twisted. Surrounded by unhappiness she has turned on me to try and make it better, then found out I had moved on and became unjustifiably angry. I added that whilst I don't regret any of the time we spent together as I was happy, what has happened since has been nothing short of embarrassing on her behalf and that I deserve better. Please don't contact me again!

:T:T:T

Well said! You've kept your dignity in a very difficult situation, I'm proud of you.

I'm glad that you realise that you wouldn't have seen her true colours (yet) if you'd simply gone running back to her. You've had a lucky escape.

I hope that you'll get in touch with the other girl again xx

*relurks*

paulineb_2

I hope you do get in touch with the other girl as well, because it must be tough when you like someone and can see they are being messed around by an ex, as I said before, nostalgia can do funny things to us. But dont let it spoil what might be something good with someone else.