Gutted

Helen2k8

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

I just wanted to give everyone a massive thank you who has responded to this post. I don't think I wanted to achieve anything other than a bit of support and knowing I have done the right thing. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I know I will get through in time.

Thanks again.:)

A thought for the future - I was with my first boyfriend for two years, very much in love - but he was older and at that age I had a lot of growing up to do (studies etc amongst other).
I never wanted to hurt him, he never did anything wrong per se, and I realised that although I wanted to help him I had to stay away to let him heal.
Fast-forward a few years and we bumped into each other. We are now (10 years later) close friends and can talk about things I can't trust anyone else with. But we would never have worked out romantically.

So yeah, it's possible to be friends afterwards, eventually.

Orlando_Virgin

Just an update for anyone who followed this thread originally, had a bit of a nightmare on Saturday night. Managed to avoid contact on the whole bar some very brief dropping off each other's stuff via relatives etc. but I hadn't seen her since that day.

Saturday night I was out in my local town (sober thank goodness) and we just so happened to walk in to a pub at the same time. It hit me like a bullet through the heart, luckily one of my mates I was with understood immediately and offered to take me to another pub as I couldn't face seeing her out. I text her that night (I KNOW, I KNOW) I'd deleted her number but I know it off by heart. I told her to stay in the pub she was in, I would go home after this pub and I didn't want any weirdness. She replied once saying "it doesn't need to be weird" and I replied saying "I'm sorry it's just too soon for me".

Anyway roll on Sunday and I get a text saying how much seeing me made it hit home how much she misses me and it's so hard etc. I basically reminded myself and her the main reason we split up and that we all have good and bad days. Seeing her has obviously set me back a bit but there you go. Just needed to vent somewhere:(

heartbreak_star

At least you're still mostly thinking logically through the hurt.

*hug*

HBS x

Orlando_Virgin

heartbreak_star wrote: »

At least you're still mostly thinking logically through the hurt.

*hug*

HBS x

I've got to! Sad as it is I made myself a list to remind myself why we broke up in the first place so I don't let the feelings and happy memories blind me to why we are where we are. It would only be temporary happiness.

heartbreak_star

The list is a very good idea! I'm terrible for letting emotions get in the way of thinking - maybe I should write things down more...

HBS x

Orlando_Virgin

Helen2k8 wrote: »

A thought for the future - I was with my first boyfriend for two years, very much in love - but he was older and at that age I had a lot of growing up to do (studies etc amongst other).
I never wanted to hurt him, he never did anything wrong per se, and I realised that although I wanted to help him I had to stay away to let him heal.
Fast-forward a few years and we bumped into each other. We are now (10 years later) close friends and can talk about things I can't trust anyone else with. But we would never have worked out romantically.

So yeah, it's possible to be friends afterwards, eventually.

May I ask why it would never have worked romantically?

Joons

On no, poor you, that happened to me and we ended up back together again only to split once more, it went on for years, don't make the same mistake I did, well, you'll do what you want at the end of the day, but well done for not being tempted back.

Orlando_Virgin

Joons wrote: »

On no, poor you, that happened to me and we ended up back together again only to split once more, it went on for years, don't make the same mistake I did, well, you'll do what you want at the end of the day, but well done for not being tempted back.

Of course I'm tempted, I'm only human and I think I will be for a while. It's comfortable, it's what I know, who I love. But after a while I would remind myself of why we broke up, the travelling she wants to do, the house she wanted to get on her own etc.

Need to stay strong and stay positive, I've come on a lot this last few weeks despite how hard it has been.

heartbreak_star

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

May I ask why it would never have worked romantically?

Because she didn't love him any more.

Same happened with me and my ex. We were together 10 years and I tried so desperately to love him romantically - he's a good man, works hard, nice looking, intelligent...but once the spark is gone altogether you can't really rekindle it.

HBS x

Orlando_Virgin

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Because she didn't love him any more.

Same happened with me and my ex. We were together 10 years and I tried so desperately to love him romantically - he's a good man, works hard, nice looking, intelligent...but once the spark is gone altogether you can't really rekindle it.

HBS x

As horrible as it sounds I can't wait to lose that spark because it will make it so much easier to get on with things. We obviously both still have it as she said her heart was in her throat when she saw me the same as I was.

Bloody life eh!? Better to have loved and lost and all that!!:)