Gutted

Orlando_Virgin

Right then!! I got back in touch with the other girl and she says she wants to leave things to simmer down until after Xmas, says we should both go away and enjoy Xmas with our families and then meet up and talk about things in the New Year.

I'm not gonna read in to it too much to be honest? I think I was right to take a step back, and now I think she is too! I'm still gonna get her a nice Xmas present as a way to say thanks to her for understanding (and yeah alright, be a bit romantic)

Something small but thoughtful, but not stalkerish haha!!!

tayforth

Oh, that would be a lovely idea (to get her a present).

I think that she's been very understanding and decent in stepping back to let you sort your head out. She probably doesn't want to be messed around again (sounds as if she really likes you), I think that's why she suggested leaving it until after Christmas.

But a gift would be a nice thoughtful gesture. If I were her, I'd be really pleased.

tayforth

And a massive well done on telling your ex where to go! :beer:

brokenheartedman

Jesus. Just read through this and it's as if I wrote the OP.

ecgirl07

brokenheartedman wrote: »

Jesus. Just read through this and it's as if I wrote the OP.

You would be better served with post 283 of this thread:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/67487768#Comment_67487768

System

Some people, despite being the ones doing the dumping, don't handle moving on very well. I had it with my ex. We split in august and were still talking, but then he found out i was online dating and went off one one, deleting me from faceache etc. I admit it was only a month or so after he dumped me but he really hit the roof, saying how much i;d hurt him and how easily i'd gotten over him (easy? lol i spent the first two weeks off sick from work because the stress had triggered a relapse with my bipolar!). I couldn't understand it as we'd split mainly because he said he didn't really have feelings for me anymore.

After a while i'd get the odd message and we'd talk for a bit but i realized us being friends just wasn't going to happen. he's moved on himself now, and i have a new partner so although it feels weird that someone i was with for 2 1/2 years is now but a distant memory, it worked out probably for the best.


That said i am friends with one of my exes, but that break up was more mutual. And i did impose a month or two ban on contact as i felt i needed to work out my feelings, after that we slowly built up contact and 8 years on we are actually best friends, i even helped him out with online dating where he met his now gf and they are expecting their first child soon. So exes can be friends but i've learnt the hard way not all can be. As have you. Sorry your ex has shown her true colours but at least you know where you stand now and you've told her. You've come a long way since your OP and you should be proud of yourself for how well you have dealt with it.