Gutted

marisco_2

It must have been tough to bump into your ex and it is understandable that this has set you back a bit. It can take a long time after a split, to feel comfy about seeing someone you were once involved with. Some people never feel able to do that. All depending on the circumstances surrounding their parting.

You are seeing the full picture of all this. Whilst you naturally miss what you once had with your ex, you are astute enough to recognise the reasons why you parted. These are things that would make any reconcilliation unwise. In time it will hurt far less than it does now and for what it is worth I think you are making the right decision.

heartbreak_star

We'll look after you O_V!!

HBS x

Orlando_Virgin

Thanks guys, I appreciate that. It's really comforting to know there are rational people around who I can talk to. Don't get me wrong I have loads of mates but most are guys and I can't get TOO deep as a lot of them lose track etc.

And being truthful I've never really had many friends who are girls.

dogcat_2

Just been reading your posts and wanted to say 'be strong'....take care....hope things work out for you.:)

Orlando_Virgin

dogcat wrote: »

Just been reading your posts and wanted to say 'be strong'....take care....hope things work out for you.:)

I'm sure they will. I appreciate that, thank you! x

Orlando_Virgin

Now then! I'm sorry for the long post first of all. Bear with me, as there is a reason I am dragging this post back up. Really would like some of you to confirm my thoughts on this matter.

The ex in question who I mention at the start of this thread recently text me out of the blue after months and months of hearing absolutely nothing, literally text me on Friday asking me a mundane question about a piece of cheap jewellery she couldn't find and thought she'd left in my house. (this of course was basically an excuse to get back in contact with me as she missed me and wanted to speak to me, which she later admitted)

So one thing led to another and we've exchanged texts through the weekend. I have recently started seeing a girl who we both knew/know, admittedly my ex disliked her very much as she always had a feeling that she was attracted to me, although nothing ever happened. I met up with my ex yesterday, at which point she asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I replied honestly and told her. She absolutely hit the roof, said I've hurt her beyond belief, she can't believe it's her, wish she'd never text etc.)

The reason I am even in this predicament, is that obviously I still love this girl, but there is nothing happened since to make me think it would ever work seriously and not end up just the way it did first time, or second time around. She hasn't even said she wants to get back with me, or that she knows what she wants, as ever since she found out about the new girl I'm seeing she has just said how much that has hurt her.

For the record, it's just a bit of fun with the new girl and we both know where we stand, there are no feelings there.

So now today I'm getting texts saying she is in a mess, doesn't know what to think or feel, wish she'd never got back in touch etc.

I've got some friends telling me that she is out of order for even having an opinion on me trying to move on when she is the reason I am in the predicament in the first place?

Is the right thing to do, just be as level as possible and end all contact with her forever? I'm really struggling to see a way out of this other than that. I have the utmost respect for my ex, I always have and will, and I hate the thought of never speaking to her again, but I don't know what else to do.

I was bloody fine until Friday afternoon :eek:

Claree__x

May be cynical but is there anyway she'd have known you were seeing this other girl and wanted to cause this so to get at her, as you mentioned she doesn't like her?

Could be a million miles wide of the mark but some women are less sane than others

krustylouise

In my opinion your ex wants her cake and eat it. She wanted to go be free find herself etc, but obviously didn't want you to do the same, which is hypocritical and completely wrong!

I would say that you are better off moving on with your life just as you were before your ex got in touch. But if you still love your ex I think it is too soon for you to be seeing someone else.

Good look OV - Im sure everything will work out for you as it should.

barbiedoll

Oh for goodness' sake! She is really messing with your head, isn't she?

If you still care for her, love her and think that you should try again, then call her, arrange a meeting and ask her what it is that she wants? Does she still love you? Does she want to go travelling and buy a house at the exclusion of all relationships? It's perfectly possible to go travelling as a couple, it is perfectly possible to buy a house on your own and still have a relationship. If she went travelling, would you wait for her? Would she want you to? It sounds as though she's not really sure what she wants, and as for all of the "travelling" lark, why is she still here, 8 months later?

If you want to be with her and she wants to be with you then you should be together. If she doesn't want that, or you no longer want that, then cut all contact, she has no right to dictate who you see or date.

And make sure that your current squeeze really does have "no feelings" for you. You say that she may have had the hots for you previously, if your heart isn't in it, do make sure that she knows it isn't going any further.

Oh, and good luck!

FBaby

So she misses you, or so she thinks. So she is disappointed that she found out you were with somewhere else. So she is saddened that you are not showing signs of wanting to get back with her.... But why is she angry?

That reaction does seem to indicate that she indeed wants her cake and eat it. She is angry because she wants something but she can't have it. That's not an attractive and respecful feature when looking at it from the outside.