Do table manners matter any more?

sonastin

lillibet_dripping wrote: »

With the greatest of respect, Posession, we talked earlier about this not being about equality, but about basic good manners. Equality is another thing entirely....

With the greatest of respect, anything that involves different treatment of men and women (unless it is related to the biology of being male/female) is about equality. Old-fashioned good manners evolved when there wasn't equality of the sexes. Women are no longer seen to be the fragile delicate creatures who need protecting and caring for and therefore there's no reason for the manners and etiquette relating to their protection.

FWIW, I don't dance around my fiance as we walk through the streets so that I'm always on his inside - if I'm on his right side and we turn onto a road where that puts me on the road side, I'll stay on his right side. If i'm on his left he has a habit of walking into me :rotfl:

CupOfChai

What on earth is "the six o'clock position"? I am assuming it means to put the knife and fork together on the plate, but the name makes it sound like you mean one should put the knife pointing up the plate and the fork pointing down!

LittleMax

I sit by 2 work colleagues, neither of whom know how to eat with their mouth closed. I don't want to listen to every bit of food being chewed and masticated. It makes me feel ill. I have made comments and asked them if they realise how noisy they are when they eat. They reckon it's just the way they eat and they can't eat any different. To which I said did their parents never tell them to eat with their mouths closed. One of them said well I'm sorry but it's just the way I eat. I find I have to get up and go out of the office as it really repulses me.

LittleMax

CupOfChai wrote: »

What on earth is "the six o'clock position"? I am assuming it means to put the knife and fork together on the plate, but the name makes it sound like you mean one should put the knife pointing up the plate and the fork pointing down!

They did, of course, mean half past six position

tessie_bear

i think nice manners are so important and have always spoken respectfully to my kids and expect them to speak to me in the same way did anyone see the bit in the mail about hhow eating as a family is very beneficial to children ?

we had a report for ds 13 years old on thursday and every single teacher commented on how polite he is, I am very proud and shed a few tears over it but it also got me thinking is it unusual for a child to be polite ? how sad if it is

Tenyearstogo

I thought that the 4 o clock position was correct not 6, but things like that are just details. I'm happy as long as my children put their cutlery together on the plate.

We eat together everyday, no one gets served first as we have serving dishes in the middle. I'm the only female and wouldn't expect to get served first however if we have visitors I would probably serve females first. I certainly wouldn't get hung up about things like that though.

I'm always confused about when to start. Do you wait until everyone is served or when half the table is served or straight away? If you have a table of 8, your food could be cold waiting for everyone to be served.

I think there is a distinction between etiquette and manners. Please, thank you and eating tidily are manners, serving ladies first and how you place your cutlery is etiquette. Manners are far more important than etiquette.

silly_moo

Re waiting until everyone is served - I took a business etiquette course at uni quite a few years back and we were told that you only have to wait until everyone is served if the food is cold. If hot food is served you should start eating as soon as you are served as otherwise your food would be getting cold.

Goldiegirl

The thing I want to know is, if you don't follow some sort of etiquette, whether it's serving ladies first, gentlemen first or guests first, how do you know where to start?

Everyone needs their own personal etiquette, otherwise it's difficult to function.

sonastin

I go with practicality - serve the people furthest away from the serving point first so that you can ask the people in between to pass the plates without disturbing their eating. This is due to the limited space around the table to be able to offer "silver service" in my home. If you're not prepared to muck-in and help out with getting dinner to all diners, you're not welcome at my table!

I also go with the importance of being polite to everyone - holding open doors for men and women alike, being mindful of the sensibility of others (i.e. not criticising folks for the way they hold their cutlery, keeping my mouth shut when eating, not interrupting people having their lunch, etc).

Shropshirelass

Imagine asking everyone's age so as to serve them in turn? Could easily upset people like that!

Judge for yourself if you have done the cooking and are serving the food. Do the men work hardest and need the food? Or is it the women, who may be pregnant and need nutrition as they are producing the next generation.

Eating with your hands is unhygienic, good way to contract infections.

Eating with your mouth open will give you wind and indigestion. (May also cause you to swallow flies!!)