Do table manners matter any more?

katie1812

I work in a school, and at lunchtimes it amazes me how bad some of the children act at the table.

We have shouting, food thrown! And children not knowing how to use a knife and fork, and cut up their food correctly.. this is in year 3/4 never mind the little ones! I've seen children use their fingers to pick up peas and sweetcorn! It drives me mad lol!

If you ask some of the children if they eat with their parents, some say yes, most say no. Most children in my school don't sit down with their family and have an evening meal.
(I've made it sound I work in a school with awful children. That's not the case at all, the school is brilliant, as are the children, it's unfortunately just the way our society is moving!)

woosey_2

I don't have children but when i have visitors at my house the children sit up to table and eat with knives and forks regardless of what they do at home. I do get comments that we don't have to do that at home but my house my rules.
My step grand daughter, when she was about six threw a tantrum and her mum said that she could have it on the floor as that's what they do at home, so i dished up her dinner, her mum put it on the floor and spent the next half an hour consoling her daughter after the dog ate it whilst i struggled not to laugh.

Rottensocks

honeythewitch wrote: »

If the schools are in loco parentis they should surely be taking the place of a parent in these matters?
It does not take much effort to teach table manners and it is best done by example.
Perhaps you could raise it with the governors and suggest some teachers and parents could eat with the children to help them? This is the way it used to be when I was at school, and I cant imagine any of my teachers refusing to teach anything because they thought it "should be taught at home"

Personally, I believe that you have your main, sit down meal in the evening with your family, and that this is where manners should really be learned.

The problem with teaching table manners in school these days is that most kids don't have a hot meal at school anymore: its all packed lunch and take away style finger food....So where's the opportunity to learn about or be involved in the rituals of being served first, using cutlery, passing the salt etc etc?

daska

Packed lunches don't cause bad manners! The real problem is low expectations, that and a lack of good example at home and minimal supervision during lunch breaks at school

Mojisola

katie1812 wrote: »

I work in a school, and at lunchtimes it amazes me how bad some of the children act at the table.

We have shouting, food thrown! And children not knowing how to use a knife and fork, and cut up their food correctly.. this is in year 3/4 never mind the little ones! I've seen children use their fingers to pick up peas and sweetcorn! It drives me mad lol!

This is very poor control by the school! It only happens because it's allowed to happen.

Our local primary school has a session early on in the year for nursery and reception where a small meal is prepared and the children sit at the table and are shown how to use a knife and fork. It's a reflection on their family life that this is the first experience of eating at a table and using anything other than a spoon for some children but it shows them what is expected when they have dinners at school.

Good table manners are reinforced by the dinner ladies. Shouting and throwing things isn't any more acceptable in the dining hall than it would be in the classroom.

System

My parents (and grandparents) driilled table manners into me.

I was taught how to use cutlery correctly, not to speak with my mouth full, not to eat with my mouth open, waiting for everyone to be seated before eating, no elbows in the table, asking permission to leave the table when eating, etc. And when at other people's houses eat everything given even if you don't like it. And even to this day if i eat at home with my family i always thank whoever has cooked for the meal too.

Errata

It's hardly surprising today's children don't have table manners when a large percentage of households don't have a table.

dibuzz

The first time I went to my inlaws for sunday dinner was an eye openener for me.
I had to ask for a knife and fork as they only used spoons.
I soon realised why though, she overcooked the veg so much it was just mush and there must have been half a pint of gravy on each plate. They just shovelled it all in as fast as they could, probably because there was no tatste or texture left to enjoy.
Luckily my kids are more like me than their dad, I had to tell my eldest son recently that he no longer needs to ask before getting a drink or snack. He is 24!

axomoxia

margaretclare wrote: »

I agree with many of the previous comments and I also agree that table-manners are important. My pet hate, if we're eating out, is to see children having a plate of food in front of them on the table, but getting up and running around, coming back to table to grab food and run off with it. This is so common and widespread, I'm sure we've all seen it?

Oddly enough I haven't, and we eat out once or twice a week. Where do all these feral children go?