Do table manners matter any more?

[Deleted User]

Manner cost nowt, and courtesy counts in my opinion.My grandchildren and my two DDs were taught to behave at the table, and please and thank you are expected.My grandchildren always ask to be excused from the table after meals as well.I don't think its a teachers job to teach good manners its the parents after all parents and family have the children for 5 years before school so children should by that time have a modicum of manners.
If I had behaved badly at the table when young it was greatly frowned upon and a 'look' from Mum or Dad was enough.but then children weren't allowed to give their opinion on grown ups conversations either.
I hate the modern idea of texting or answering text at the table and I find it very irritating if I had gone to visit someone and they sat there texting I wouldn't dream of doing it and another thing I abhor is the constant noise of t.v. when no ones watching it .its like a musical wall paper If I have a visitor my t.v. goes off immediately.In fact this morning when my DD pulled up in her car I turned my wireless off before I even opened the door to her.She has come to see me not watch t.v. or listen to the wireless. I am fairly easy going most of the time but bad manners or rudeness drives me insane.All of my family know its my pet hate and even the little one knows 'Granny gets cross if he forgets his please or thank you'

THIRZAH

MIL stills serves me first-as the "guest" even though DH and I have been married for 35 years!

Penny-Pincher!!

Lack of eating etiquette in this country is getting worse!

I think a lot has to be blamed on all the fast food which is mainly eaten with hands and no cutlery, so people have forgotten how to eat properly and kids just havent been taught! As parents we need to teach our kids the basics and maybe even the schools should do this too.


PP
xx

honeythewitch

JackieO wrote: »

Manner cost nowt, and courtesy counts in my opinion.My grandchildren and my two DDs were taught to behave at the table, and please and thank you are expected.My grandchildren always ask to be excused from the table after meals as well.I don't think its a teachers job to teach good manners its the parents after all parents and family have the children for 5 years before school so children should by that time have a modicum of manners.
If I had behaved badly at the table when young it was greatly frowned upon and a 'look' from Mum or Dad was enough.but then children weren't allowed to give their opinion on grown ups conversations either.
I hate the modern idea of texting or answering text at the table and I find it very irritating if I had gone to visit someone and they sat there texting I wouldn't dream of doing it and another thing I abhor is the constant noise of t.v. when no ones watching it .its like a musical wall paper If I have a visitor my t.v. goes off immediately.In fact this morning when my DD pulled up in her car I turned my wireless off before I even opened the door to her.She has come to see me not watch t.v. or listen to the wireless. I am fairly easy going most of the time but bad manners or rudeness drives me insane.All of my family know its my pet hate and even the little one knows 'Granny gets cross if he forgets his please or thank you'

But most parents dont "have" the children for five years before school any more.
Children are generally brought up in the care of others in one way or the other almost from birth while both parents work so the time they spend together is much reduced and teaching ,manners will be a struggle if it is not reinforced at school/nursery/childminders/after school clubs/breakfast clubs.
I think it is very unfair to the children who do have manners to be expected to eat with others who slurp and snatch while adults do nothing to stop it.
If so many children are not learning basic good manners then it must be taught outside the home if necessary, because it is unkind not to.

happy35

In my family men are always served first, they always have been and I do the same. This is followed by children and then women, I presume this is from the time when food was short and those that needed it first were served first.

I like manners and although we dont eat at the table every night I still expect cutlery etc to be used correctly. We tend to eat in front of the telly on a Friday, Saturday and a Monday night, we also have afternoon tea in front of the telly on a Sunday laid out on the coffee table.

I hate people eating with their mouth open, talking with food in their mouth and not eating with a knife and fork.

My parents were very strict, meals were silent as you were there to eat not talk I am however less strict and we do have conversations at the table

BitterAndTwisted

Do teachers supervise school lunches these days? I thought perhaps not.

Anyway, even trying to exercise the most basic discipline at school often elicits shouts of "bullying" by parents of their precious little darlings, so I expect a lot of teachers would be on a hiding to nothing. To say nowt about this modern concept of "diversity" and a lot of the other things we're not supposed to talk about.

lillibet_dripping

Actually, I am a cookery teacher (or Food Technology as it is called nowadays) in a primary school. I know in secondary schools, kids bring in the ingredients, cook the dish and then take it home with them, but my job is to introduce the children to new tastes, flavours, equip them with basic cooking skills in line with the National Curriculum.

For instance, my current year 4 are studying Ancient Egypt in the classroom so we are cooking Egyptian foods like falafells and kefta. Year 3 are reading 'Finding Nemo' so their cooking sessions focus on fishy dishes. Many children have never eaten a fish cake or have never seeen a prawn!

Depending on what we are cooking, we sometimes taste what we have cooked in the Food Tech room i.e. kefta or fishcakes. I insist on correct use of cutlery, waiting to be served, serving girls first ('ladies first' to which the boys ALWAYS reply 'men just before'), waiting for all to be served, not reaching across the table, mouths closed when eating, not talking with the mouth full .......

I am slowly seeing their manners filter through to the dining room and am proud to have been able to teach them some manners. One child, when I asked him to lay his knife and fork correctly to indicate that he had finished said 'we don't do that in our house'. My reply? I don't care what you do in your house, you don't do it in my Food Tech room. I am just waiting for the irate parent to ring the school to complain ....

honeythewitch

lillibet_dripping wrote: »

Actually, I am a cookery teacher (or Food Technology as it is called nowadays) in a primary school. I know in secondary schools, kids bring in the ingredients, cook the dish and then take it home with them, but my job is to introduce the children to new tastes, flavours, equip them with basic cooking skills in line with the National Curriculum.

For instance, my current year 4 are studying Ancient Egypt in the classroom so we are cooking Egyptian foods like falafells and kefta. Year 3 are reading 'Finding Nemo' so their cooking sessions focus on fishy dishes. Many children have never eaten a fish cake or have never seeen a prawn!

Depending on what we are cooking, we sometimes taste what we have cooked in the Food Tech room i.e. kefta or fishcakes. I insist on correct use of cutlery, waiting to be served, serving girls first ('ladies first' to which the boys ALWAYS reply 'men just before'), waiting for all to be served, not reaching across the table, mouths closed when eating, not talking with the mouth full .......

I am slowly seeing their manners filter through to the dining room and am proud to have been able to teach them some manners. One child, when I asked him to lay his knife and fork correctly to indicate that he had finished said 'we don't do that in our house'. My reply? I don't care what you do in your house, you don't do it in my Food Tech room. I am just waiting for the irate parent to ring the school to complain ....

I should think they would be grateful to you.
I would have been mortified if mine had ever needed to be corrected on their manners.
They were allowed to be casual at home as long as nobody else was affected but I could take them anywhere without embarrassment.

Possession

I'm all for manners and my children ask to leave the table, are told not to put their elbows on it, lay their cutlery down when they are finished etc etc. But I certainly don't want to be served first just because I am female and I would not teach my children that. Equality is being equal, not choosing the nice bits and rejecting the others.
In my family, at my grandma's house, the children were served first, not the adults, regardless of their gender. Indeed my grandma, now 91, wouldn't have dreamt of serving women first just because of their gender. She was obviously ahead of her time.

Jinx

I think manners (and speaking well) do still matter. I'm 39 and we had dinner each night at the table when we were small and it relaxed as we got older. I continued this with my daughter, so in our family we can all go anywhere and not (hopefully!) disgrace ourselves.

Counter this with my godson who is in his late teens and has no idea how to use cutlery, eats prawn cocktail by pulling it out the dish with his fingers and slurping his tea by leaning down to the cup and I am actually ashamed of his mother for putting him in this situation. I keep wondering if Im a snob - think I might be!:o