Hoarding - Springing Ahead

whitewing

Welcome Parisien, sounds like you are doing your duty for your mum and that you are trying very hard to be kind to her. Perhaps you could try getting some counselling via your GP to help you detangle your feelings about her hoarding so that you can dissipate some of your anger and feel better about drawing the line.

On the other subject of flowers, my extended family will buy me vases as gifts but no one buys me flowers. This isn't a feel-sorry-for-myself. Just an observation that vases are considered as valuable presents because they can be kept, yet flowers are a waste of money...I love flowers anyway. (But I did pass on a vase recently).

Today I have charity shopped 5 tops.

We bought DS a pile of new clothes yesterday, exceptional value at half price. So we have been thoroughly through his wardrobe and there is a huge pile which will either be ebayed by him or charity shopped. I actually would rather charity shop it, even though some is very decent, on the basis that we don't tend to give much to charity in terms of money at the moment. But he thinks he will make enough to buy a PS3 game. (It is hoarder vs dehoarder I think as if we charity shop it then it is gone today).

I need to start getting my xmas lists together. Not many paydays to xmas.

cyclingyorkie

Well...... an update:

We can't fit any more in the skip but the garage is looking heaps better! We've moved stuff around, swept the floor and worked out what is still to go - when we can afford another skip.

I found DS's fishing equipment in there - he hasn't fished for a couple of years - getting up at 6.30 on a Sunday proved incompatible with going out on a Saturday night!

It seems that he didn't clear his bag out after his last trip! Among the coke cans and crisp wrappers was evidence of some live bait and other bait. I've rung him and he says he will clean it out when he next comes!

Everything that's staying is back in a better order than it was so I'm chilling with a cup of tea.

lobbyludd

Welcome Parisian,

I have the opposite situation, in that my parents are uber-organised and I am not. But I know that thereare people here who struggle in the same situation as you.

I think perhaps (I hope this doesn't sound mean!) you may need to step back from your mother's life a little, for your own sanity, and to try and establish a more equal relationship - where the focus is not on you policing her issues, and can be on a more mother daughter level. I can only imagine how tough that will be for you, but you aren't responsible for the state of her house. Living independently from her is a very positive move for you, and in your 20's what you would expect to be doing anyway, but you have taken on an enormous responsibility which is overshadowing your life.

Does she have other issues beyond the hoarding? I know that my behaviour in this area is a result of other issues I have, and tackling those is what has/is making a difference (as well as coming here and outing my nutty behaviour and getting positive reinforcement for making progress and gentle support when I just can't).

Welcome!

lobbyludd

oh,
my update: some shoes in a bag to go to cs, and 40-odd small plastic plant pots to recycling - they will not be useful, they haven't been so far!

following several reckies into the monster's bedrooms I have repatriated the bowls. All the spoons however are missing presumed dead. ALL of them. we are now using plastic picnic spoons.

nitnurse-not2

Hi all:hello:

I'm very impressed with the activity on here but for those who are struggling please remember you can't eat an elephant in one bite.I am nibbling along ATM

DH has taken DD's old mattress, pillows and duvet to the tip:j
In the past I would have put pillows and duvet into black bags in the loft "just in case":o
I am culling my flip flops/ sandals. I rarely throw them out but some of them I will never wear again as they are quite tatty. Missing diamontes, flowers etc.
Took empty wine bottles to my Dad. He will refill them for me then I will have to de-clutter the wine in them.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Have a good week.
xxx

decogecko

Hi all :wave:

I've finally taken 'stuff' that has been in the boot of my car for months to the CS today. :j

I've also made a start on the shed, it was on my to-do list but now it's essential as the shed needs a new roof and it's currently not watertight :eek:

As I felt a bit overwhelmed with what needs doing in there I just went for the easy bits - rubbish, empty paint tins, broken hoover and took them down the dump today. There is still more to do but I don't need to remove several items to get the lawn mower in and out, also the wheel barrow fits in there :T

Keep on eating that elephant

Deco x

GreyQueen

Evening all.

Impressed as hell at all the decluttering going on here.

I've been knackering myself on the allotment this aftenoon. I rolled up my sleeves and advanced on The Rough. I'd called it a day yesterday once I'd cleared about 1 m sq but also because it'd come slap bang against a wadge of chickenwire embedded in the ground with stuff all growing thru it.

I knew it was going to be a beggar but there are at least two other chickenwire bogies, plus the one half-behind the shed, so there was no point in trying to skirt the issue. I gloved up, grasped the edge, braced and pulled with all my might.

Nothing happened. I then twigged that there was a huge paving slab over part of the chicken wire. This is one of the ex-street slabs I got from the savlage yard years ago, not the kind you can buy in the DIY store. Blinking heavy. Needed to do something creative with a metal pole as a lever, then managed to flip it off the chickenwire, then grasped and braced and heaved......and nothing happened.

Darlings, I had to chisel that lump out of the ground inch by inch with the mattock, cutting thru the roots which had grown over and thru it and peeling it off the soil. It's now squatting on the allotment "patio" in a great big chickenwire bogie about 3 feet square. Took me 30 mins to get it out and I was panting and shaking with muscle fatigue but the time I'd done it.

But I didn't quit and I won. Have also cleared the ground which it was occupying and removed lots of roots and nails and glass and plastic carp........feeling good.

Well, feeling bliddy knackered, but in a good way. The Rough is noticably shrunken and not nearly so insolent now, ha ha.

Lucy5781

lobbyludd wrote: »

following several reckies into the monster's bedrooms I have repatriated the bowls. All the spoons however are missing presumed dead. ALL of them. we are now using plastic picnic spoons.

:rotfl: Thank you for this

Lucy5781

Finally attacked the piles of post that I had on the TV and the shelf above it and filed a year's worth of bank statements :eek:

I usually find my finances suddenly improve once I've done a little job like that.....

Florenceem

Had a bit of a declutter as I emptied my craft room out ready for decorating.
Two bags of stuff ready for the charity shop plus I listed some furniture on Eb..
Lots of paper etc gone into recycling and into the bag to be shredded. Mr F will shred before Wednesday evening ready for collection.