Hoarding - Springing Ahead

365days

That is what I find the most frustrating thing about mess and clutter; never being able to find anything.

I think this is my main issue I don't have a place for everything so a place for everything and everything in it's place is a redundant statement. Maybe I'm kidding myself but if all my stuff was organised I may be able to live with it all. Ok just read that back and I am kidding myself! I would still need to throw stuff out before I organised everything.

Haven't flung alot today but cleaned the kitchen window and floor - not as simple as it sounds! and done a heap of ironing which I guess doesn't really count as it's still not put away.

Does anyone look at stuff and think I could just throw that away? I have a smoking den in the garden. There has been a few burnt out tealights on the window sill for about 8 months. Everytime I look at them I think 'I could just throw those away' Well today I did.

Bonkers.....

Happy with today's small progress though.

cyclingyorkie

How can the skip be full and yet the garage shows no noticeable improvement?

Gingernutty

cyclingyorkie wrote: »

How can the skip be full and yet the garage shows no noticeable improvement?

Beware, the kipple is expanding into the free space! :eek:

pigpen

Gingernutty wrote: »

Beware, the kipple is expanding into the free space! :eek:

I think the stuff at the bottom is so squashed it is like it is vacuum sealed so when you release it from the stuff on top it expands exponentially , if left long enough it will fill the galaxy!!

Kind of like sitting on a cushion then getting up and it grows to fill the room!!

I have recycled a gravy tub I was keeping wash powder in.. and 8 full sharps bins have gone. have a small visible piece of worksurface. :eek:

GreyQueen

Evening all.

The cheesy grin icon is how I feel after tacking one section of The Rough, the derelict bit at the top of my allotment, which has been untouched for the 5 years I've had the plot.

It's a big plot, and it was all derelict, and I have done a lot to get the rest in good fettle and regularly pick up compliments on how good my lottie looks from passing strangers, but I feel a hypocrite.

Because they're passing on the footpath and can't see the dereliction up the top, but I know it's there. It's like having a tidy home but knowing that all hell is only just contrained by closed cupboard doors.

Made plans for weekend with all good intentions, spent nigh-sleepless night due to neighbourly stupidity and the fire brigade and felt like rubbish. Got the the lottie, looked at The Rough, and it sneered back at me as if to say so ya think ya hard enough? You've been chickening out of dealing with me for 5 whole years, what makes you think you can do it now?

That's right, I was being dissed by a patch of ground about 10 x 10 meters. It's a humpty bit of ground containing disintegrating tarpaulins, random bits of metal and rolls of chickenwire, slabs, buckets, and carp carp carp. All grown over with nettles, brambles and couch grass.

I nearly ran away, it was all too much to contemplate. Then I gave myself a severe talking-to, and got down to it.

Item; paving slab with a corner broken off, recessed into ground in front of shed for a doorstep. Item; one disintegrating blue tarp, bagged and binned (can see the corner of another one but that's a fight for another day). Brambles and nettled cut down and piled to dry on the burn pile. Just over a square meter busted up with a mattock, forked thru and bad roots and copious quantities of glass and nails removed.

I reckon 9-10 more sessions should see this done. It it stays dry I shall be on it tomorrow. Each session is about 2 hours work................ I can do it. I WILL DO IT.

ModestyB

Well done for starting GreyQueen, batter that ground into complete submission. :T:T

cyclingyorkie

I am just gathering my strength for 'Adventures with garage and skip part 2!'

Wish me luck....

Parisian

It's nice to find somewhere like this.

My mother has always had a lot of clutter and many hoarding habits since I was a young child e.g. not finishing bottles/toilet rolls/anything before opening new ones and then keeping them all, putting various unrelated items in plastic bags, the list goes on.

It's been really tough for me, because I have the opposite habits and have this need to have my environment on the perhaps "too tidy" side. It's probably no coincidence.

Over the years I have done so many clean outs, and now finally the house is in a clear condition. However, this is only because of my constant vigilence and checking. I am constantly finding little hoards everywhere, no matter what is promised.

I moved out of the family home a few years ago, just to a rented room 10 minutes away because I felt so unhappy. It's a real shame as my mum has two empty rooms, and I could potentially live there whilst saving for my own place... particularly as I spend so much of my personal time looking after her. I also feel I have to stay quite close because if someone is not monitoring my mum, the house becomes hoarded and everything gets out of control pretty quickly. It does make me terribly unhappy tbh, this thing of not having any of my needs met in this relationship and yet feeling like I have to stick around to look after her because no one else will (I have a brother who lives abroad and says he's too far to get involved/ leaves everything to me).

I've employed a carer to come in twice a week for 3.5 hours in total... however the carers I've had never seem to keep up with the things I tell them to eg. Our last carer was leaving, so I came over on her last appointment. I had asked her to keep an eye under the lining of drawers in the kitchen, the cupboard under the sink and expiry dates in the fridge. I found hundreds of taxi cards stuffed under the drawer linings, pens and stationery in between pans, and cheese expired in June in the fridge. She still insisted that she had been checking everything, and it all must have happened in the two days since her last check (very unlikely to have cheese from June in the fridge at the end of August if you've been checking it). I have a new carer now, so I hope this time is better. I also employ a cleaner to do a deep clean of the kitchen and bathrooms every fortnight.

It's so tough. I'm so frustrated with the situation and I'm not sure if I can ever feel any different about it. I suppose there was always the hope that my mum would change and then I would be okay... but having spent most of my 20's cleaning out hoards and nothing changing, I know this is unlikely to happen. I'm just not sure about how to feel anything but frustrated and angry with her for making my own life feel so uncomfortable when I was staying with her, and now by having to look after her so much.

VJsmum

Good luck, Cyclingyorkie

Welcome, Parisian. Are you Parisian? It is my favourite city. I am not so good on the psychology of the hoarding, but many here are. If you have time, read through the whole thread, it may show some insight.

Well, I am extremely proud of myself. 4 huuge boxes and a bin bag of [STRIKE]valuable possessions[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]cra[/STRIKE] err rubbish arrived back here after 7 years in MiL's loft (i know it's 7 years as stuff was wrapped in newspaper). We can't remember why it went there or why we kept that stuff.

I have been through them all and only kept about 6 books and a dozen or so "ornamenty" things, all of which i can find a home for. Some of the rest will go to the charity shop but most has gone in the bin - I don't think it will sell in the chazzer, or has got too manky or out of date. Some is a shame cos it could have gone to the charity shop at the time, but is outdated now

I think, without this thread, I would have kept a lot more of it but now am able to ask key questions of myself. Even OH agreed to most stuff going and has only kept two minging things.

calicocat

Howdie folks,

Just popped in quickly, will come back later to re-read properly when I have more time.

Everyone was amazed at new place. I had worked like a trojan for days....and it paid off. Apart from the pink room everywhere was organised and tidy, and I have to say it feels SO much better. Didn't get to bed until 5am this morning due to refusing to come down to chaos so stayed up sorting/chucking/freezing/cleaning everything so it was back to how it looked before party.

There must be something wrong with me!!!?

I have mountains of beautiful flowers from friends.....all of which when looked up are poisonous to cats, and Asbo cat is constantly trying to eat them so have had to shove them in a room and shut door.....such a shame as they look lovely. Idiot cat. She ate half a poinsettia (is that how you spell it) one year and survived and they are meant to very toxic to pets.

Anyhow off to lunch at friends now.

Oh and I re-jiggled the shed this morning as ex had brought more stuff over as moving soon........there is definitely something wrong with me..

Good luck to those at it today, and don't beat yourself up to those who are at the beginning of it or struggling at the moment.