Just hope my DD doesn't leave it too late.

SuzieSue

oliveoil99 wrote: »

When people resort to personal insults they show lesser intelligence and inability to debate.

So true. Forums are great in general, but the main downside is that you do not know anything about the people you are dealing with and a lot of them you wouldn't associate with in real life because they are not very intelligent. So whereas you would ignore them in real life, it is much more difficult to do so on a forum.

The best thing to do is just not to even bother answering rude, nasty posts and to certainly not get upset by them otherwise the nasty unintelligent witches will have won.

Pollycat

oliveoil99 wrote: »

When people resort to personal insults they show lesser intelligence and inability to debate. My daughter has said she would like a child but not children, I'm already a nana to 2 grandaughters from my son and his partner. My DD has always been a career woman and has done well in her job, they are financially secure with 2 good incomes and there own property. I don't bang on about her having children but the subject does come up now again and because of my family history and her passed medical problems I do worry but that's me. I'm so glad I taught her manners she would never speak like some on here shame on them. Thank-you. Suziesue

I've not insulted you although I have said that you need to step back - in fact this is what I said.

Pollycat wrote: »

OP
I can understand your concern but I don't think your daughter is likely to be clueless about the potential problems relating to conceiving a child as well as the possible risks involved at an older age.

You've mentioned it - and got the knock-back - so I really would drop the subject unless she brings the topic up herself.

You say 'the subject comes up now and again' but I'll bet that you are the one who brings it up.

I think the tone of the thread was set by this comment in your first post:

oliveoil99 wrote: »

DD is due to get married next summer she will be 33 then and has said she wants a child, I'm not a pushy granma to be am already a nana just don't want her to leave it to late. DD has been in the same job a civil-servant since she was 18 and wants to carry on working for a few years before trying for a baby. When I mention her (body clock) and once you get to 35 it fast-forwards she just says stop going on about it mum women have babies on there 40s all the time, should I just keep my mouth shut and hope all turns out ok?

Some posters feel that to refer to someone's body clock when that person has made it clear that children are not on the agenda in the near future and to make that person ask that you 'stop going on about it' (which indicates that they do feel that your comments are unwelcome) then you are in the wrong.

I wouldn't have worded my reply as strong as some posters but I think the general concensus of opinion is that you are out of order in mentioning body clocks.

I hope you take the comments to heart (even if you don't like the way some of them are worded) as I wouldn't like you to drive a wedge between you and your daughter.

Concentrate on the wedding and let your daughter decide when she's ready to think about a child.

Any

Pollycat wrote: »

I've not insulted you although I have said that you need to step back - in fact this is what I said.



You say 'the subject comes up now and again' but I'll bet that you are the one who brings it up.

I think the tone of the thread was set by this comment in your first post:


Some posters feel that to refer to someone's body clock when that person has made it clear that children are not on the agenda in the near future and to make that person ask that you 'stop going on about it' (which indicates that they do feel that your comments are unwelcome) then you are in the wrong.

I wouldn't have worded my reply as strong as some posters but I think the general concensus of opinion is that you are out of order in mentioning body clocks.

I hope you take the comments to heart (even if you don't like the way some of them are worded) as I wouldn't like you to drive a wedge between you and your daughter.

Concentrate on the wedding and let your daughter decide when she's ready to think about a child.

THIS!!!!
Also the other thing that set people off was
"Should I just shut up and hope it turns out all right"
Like instead of what???
Go on and on and on and on until you alienate your daughter?
Sorry, but you don't sound that innocent as some seem to make out....The first post speaks volumes. And every single one since.
You do not sound like caring mother whot supports her inteligent children that have their own life and opinions...

That is only my own personal opinion. That is not being rude, that is saying what I see in your post. You can disagree, but that doesn't mean I have to tiptoe around you and sign up to you idea of what is and isn't "manners".
It seems that manners is agreeing with you and saying what you want to hear.

P.S.: it does not help that this is very emotional subject for many women (and men). People who have gone through a lot of other people/mothers/family sticking nose into their fertility issues.
You better remember that before you go all upset. Forums are 2 way street.

janninew

Any wrote: »

THIS!!!!
Also the other thing that set people off was
"Should I just shut up and hope it turns out all right"
Like instead of what???
Go on and on and on and on until you alienate your daughter?
Sorry, but you don't sound that innocent as some seem to make out....The first post speaks volumes. And every single one since.
You do not sound like caring mother whot supports her inteligent children that have their own life and opinions...

That is only my own personal opinion. That is not being rude, that is saying what I see in your post. You can disagree, but that doesn't mean I have to tiptoe around you and sign up to you idea of what is and isn't "manners".
It seems that manners is agreeing with you and saying what you want to hear.

I think the OP was probably more referring to posters calling her a witch etc (which funnily enough have now been removed - did they break the forum rules?)

zaksmum

I used to worry about my daughter like this, but wouldn't have dreamed of hassling her about it.

She had her first child at the age of 31, and all her close friends were even older than this.

She's almost 34 now, no sign of a second baby, but for all I know she might be trying. I'm keeping my gob firmly closed!

SuzieSue

janninew wrote: »

I think the OP was probably more referring to posters calling her a witch etc (which funnily enough have now been removed - did they break the forum rules?)

Exactly. Every single poster has given the OP exactly the same advice. However, some nasty, rude posters have been unnecessarily harsh and they should just be ignored. I think the OP realises that now and will not be upset by them, so they can carry on to thier hearts' content because no-one is listening to them anyway

Dunroamin

janninew wrote: »

I think the OP was probably more referring to posters calling her a witch etc (which funnily enough have now been removed - did they break the forum rules?)

Actually, the only use of the word "witches" I saw was by suziesue referring to posters who were being critical of the OP.

"All these nasty witches on this board who just assume the worst of everyone and anyone can't help themselves simply because they are nasty self-opinionated witches and just assume that everyone else is just like them."

Dunroamin

SuzieSue wrote: »

Exactly. Every single poster has given the OP exactly the same advice. However, some nasty, rude posters have been unnecessarily harsh and they should just be ignored. I think the OP realises that now and will not be upset by them, so they can carry on to thier hearts' content because no-one is listening to them anyway

From the person who called other posters "witches", don't you think that's a bit rich?

janninew

Dunroamin wrote: »

Actually, the only use of the word "witches" I saw was by suziesue referring to posters who were being critical of the OP.

"All these nasty witches on this board who just assume the worst of everyone and anyone can't help themselves simply because they are nasty self-opinionated witches and just assume that everyone else is just like them."

See post 39, its actually been removed now, but another poster had it quoted so its still showing.

SuzieSue

Dunroamin wrote: »

Actually, the only use of the word "witches" I saw was by suziesue referring to posters who were being critical of the OP.

"All these nasty witches on this board who just assume the worst of everyone and anyone can't help themselves simply because they are nasty self-opinionated witches and just assume that everyone else is just like them."

The post where someone called her an interfering witch has been removed.

I said in an earlier post that there were a lot of interfering witches on this board in response to the intefering witches post and that the OP wasn't one of them. I then carried on referring to these people as witches in the post you have quoted. It is not a word I would normally use, but if the original poster who called her an interfering witch thougtht it was ok to use, I thought that I would too.