Just hope my DD doesn't leave it too late.

vroombroom

I agree with majority.

Can I just ask -if she produces a much wanted grandchild, are you going to be the one to look after it when your daughter goes back to work? No, I doubt it.

Faith177

God you sound like my soon to be MIL!

I'm 27 in two days OH is 30 two days after our wedding. We have been engaged for 3 years now been together 4 1/2 years. We wanted to be married before having kids and that is a very strong belief for both of us.

All she keeps going on about is how she is never going to have Grandchildren. This is especially hurtful as she was in the room when my OH was told at 17 he may not be able to have children!

She just WILL NOT drop the subject. We want to enjoy being married before taking the next step. Plus we live 80 miles apart due to work at the moment how could we raise a child like that. Every time we go to see her I spend most of the time holding my thoughts and feelings in it is horrible. Me & OH live in fear of not being able to have kids but we have agreed that he won't be tested until we have been trying for a year as we just don't want to know right now.

Just leave you're daughter alone when she is ready she will try but if you keep on pushing it you could make her feel resentful towards you eventually

tyllwyd

I know the OP has left this thread but just in case she comes back ... I can understand your concern. I had fertility issues and the later you leave it before trying to conceive, the less time you are giving yourself to discover if there is a problem, and the less time you have for any treatment to work. Fingers crossed it will all work out for your DD.

FatVonD

We've all heard of women having babies in their 40s but quite often they've already had kids. Even if they haven't they may have had terminations of miscarriages and so know that everything is in full working order. To put off a first child having never been pregnant ever (and only she will know that) could be storing up trouble but you've said you piece, it's up to her now.

podperson

Wow, a few rather harsh comments on here! OP, I'm sure it's only because you care about your daughter, but you have offered your advice/opinion on the subject and she doesn't seem to want it. I'm sure she's not stupid, she will be aware that fertility can decrease with age and I'm sure her and her future husband have discussed their options.

I appreciate it can be hard as you always think of your children as your 'babies' to be protected, but she is a grown woman who is thinking of having children of her own - so I would suggest taking a step back and only offering your opinion on the subject if she asks for it. You don't want to upset or alienate her on it as then she may not wish to confide in you in the future.

danielley

codemonkey wrote: »

As someone who is the same age as your daughter and my mum says this to me all the time, I have 4 words for you. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!! Seriously. It's a horrible thing to say and it's even worse to hear. I know you're coming at this from a caring place and you don't mean to be hurtful and you want her to understand that it might not happen later but really all you're doing is telling her she's old.

Do you know for sure they've not been trying and just not mentioning it? Because I haven't told my mum and we've been trying. I'm close to my mum too. And if she is trying and you keep going on about body clocks and getting a move on, its really painful. I remember leaving my mum's once fans bursting into tears in the car and crying all the way home.

Even if they're not trying, really. You've made your point. Your daughter will try to have a baby when she's ready and what you say makes no difference.

You sound like a lovely mum who just cares for daughter and wants the best so please, just drop this.

Exactly the same as me, I'm 34 and everytime I go around to family they all start nagging tick tock etc, however what they don't know is that we are trying but do not want to share it with anyone until we have conceived and successfully got passed 12 week stage.

sassyblue

podperson wrote: »

Wow, a few rather harsh comments on here!

I think so too..... we don't know in what context the discussion came up. Poor OP.

Threebabes

HI

Ive been told that you tend to follow your family with the menopause, so if this is right, they could be a chance of going through the change early.

I would be the same as you, if it was one of my daughters, but at the end of the day you have said your bit and you have to let her get on with it.

:-)

Pollycat

oliveoil99 wrote: »

DD is due to get married next summer she will be 33 then and has said she wants a child, I'm not a pushy granma to be am already a nana just don't want her to leave it to late. DD has been in the same job a civil-servant since she was 18 and wants to carry on working for a few years before trying for a baby. When I mention her (body clock) and once you get to 35 it fast-forwards she just says stop going on about it mum women have babies on there 40s all the time, should I just keep my mouth shut and hope all turns out ok?

OP
I can understand your concern but I don't think your daughter is likely to be clueless about the potential problems relating to conceiving a child as well as the possible risks involved at an older age.

You've mentioned it - and got the knock-back - so I really would drop the subject unless she brings the topic up herself.

securityguy

oliveoil99 wrote: »

When I mention her (body clock) and once you get to 35 it fast-forwards she just says stop going on about it

So there's your answer.