Should I tell her to back off?

heartbreak_star

Fingers crossed you work it out

HBS x

FizzledOut

FBaby - spot on. The ASPT sent my husband a message on his birthday in August 2011. Then several texs exchanged through October, November, December, January, the message I found was arranging to meet up in February "to walk the dogs, sit in the car and cuddle" !!!!!! ... My MIL told me how her son had told her about "this woman" whose husband had beat her up. In her email to me she said my husband was "a shoulder to cry on" .... It's a very common scenario.

HeadAboveWater

I think it's important in any relationship to know what the boundaries are. The way I describe it is, if it's something that can't be done/said/written/whatever in front of the other person, then you shouldn't be doing it. Simple as that.

I know OH has a few females on his phone, and who would maybe text him occasionally. Jokes and what not. The point I flipped was when I see a text from one of the females with a 'x' at the end! (Apparently that was the 'norm' for her) Regardless, I felt it was inappropriate considering he was in a serious relationship.

But yes I do think it is very possible to have a platonic relationship.

EDIT:
BTW, in ref to above girl texting OH, I didn't run off to the girl and tell her where to go. It was sorted between me and OH. Which is what you, OP, need to do

heartbreak_star

Oh god everybody who I'm social with gets "xxx" on the end of a text - people have got so used to it they wonder if they've upset me if I forget to put it lol!

HBS x

xemmax

I would be extremely cautious. I was in a similar situation with an ex, found lots of texts on his phone (sometimes complimentary) to a female. Confronted him but gave him the benefit of the doubt. After 3 years together he went on to cheat on me with her twice and kept it secret for a good 6 months. I'm not saying this is what your hubby might intend to do but as I said, I would be very cautious.

HeadAboveWater

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Oh god everybody who I'm social with gets "xxx" on the end of a text - people have got so used to it they wonder if they've upset me if I forget to put it lol!

HBS x

ha ha I hear what you're saying HBS! Each to their own! I just feel that for me personally it's inappropriate.

aileth

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

The point I flipped was when I see a text from one of the females with a 'x' at the end! (Apparently that was the 'norm' for her) Regardless, I felt it was inappropriate considering he was in a serious relationship.

This happened with me some time ago. He was texting a woman who he worked with and she always responded with 'xxxxx' after each message. I asked him if he thought it was appropriate to text a married man with that, which effectively means a kiss, and he said apparently she does it to everyone (Surely that doesn't mean it's okay to married men??)

I asked him if he would like it if I text my male friends with 'xxxxx'. Nope, of course he wouldn't!

System

Oh god everybody who I'm social with gets "xxx"

People who i am social with only get a :-). Only the people that i genuinely love get xxx's.

HeadAboveWater

aileth wrote: »

I asked him if he thought it was appropriate to text a married man with that, which effectively means a kiss, and he said apparently she does it to everyone (Surely that doesn't mean it's okay to married men??)

I asked him if he would like it if I text my male friends with 'xxxxx'. Nope, of course he wouldn't!

Bingo! That's the exact same convo I had with OH!!! OH had the same response when I asked him!! Said that because I was in a relationship I shouldn't be sending 'x'. But yet it's ok for him to receive texts with 'x'?????

What are we missing?!??!?!?!

Pollycat

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

What are we missing?!??!?!?!

A sense of persepective about texting, maybe? :cool: