They forgot my birthday!!

Sommer43

suki1001 wrote: »

This scenario put across was more than being cross though.If my oh was so resentful to me, even with children I would consider the future of my marriage.

Me too. I stuffed up once with debt, made a right mess of things, but I did sort it out. Alone. He refused to accept any responsibility in it all. I moved back to my father's and he allowed me to live rent free while I paid off everything. It took me a year. It cost my ex-husband nothing. He took his resentments so far and tried to destroy me. Called all my friends, my father... Luckily, my friends never bought it and neither did my dad. He simply refused to take responsibility in it all. Mind you, he was having an affair behind my back. So he had enough money to go and find himself a house with his new lady. They are now very happy. We were completely against each other.

My now husband, is quite difficult when it comes to finances, but I understand this. His ex-wife ran debts up and I am talking thousands, remortgaged and loans and credit cards. It was a right mess. I can understand his fear of it all. But I never allow him to bully me. I will stand my ground and I make decisions he doesn't like, but when I explain it to him, he understands.

LannieDuck

Could you not have pre-empted all of this by suggesting he buys you something that you need as a birthday present? e.g. the new boots

Perhaps you could do this for mothers' day - ask for some nice cooking stuff. Are your herbs running low, or do you need some new fancy sauces? That way you get a gift, and your husband can rationalise it as not excess spending because you would have had to buy it anyway.

henauvin

Somehow... you need to laugh Not easy for sure, but someone needs to take the initiative to break out of this deadly serious circle. Is there something about which you always smile together? Is there no way to find a funny side to this even if it involves laughing at yourself??
Happy Birthday by the way....

seashore22

Caroline73 wrote: »

In the weeks up to our birthdays my husband and I discuss what we want to do to celebrate.

Do you not even mention it to him beforehand? I might just say something like "I quite fancy a Chinese takeaway and a movie for my birthday this year." I can't imagine being a relationship where that isn't the norm.

This is what tends to happen in our house and I am just as likely to forget birthdays as my husband is. No chance of a missed birthday or hurt feelings if you talk about stuff.

Sorry that you had such a rotten day.