They forgot my birthday!!

alwaysworried_2

Hello

I have to vent this off to someone and I'm afraid it's here.

It was my birthday yesterday and I never got one card, not one, I never got a happy birthday text message, Facebook message, nothing.

My husband forgot my birthday therefore the kids never mentioned it!! My parents and my siblings didn't remember either or either that they just think that it will be okay to say something to me next time I see then and I might get a card then.

My husband and I have had a few troubles recently, we have some money worries where I got us into debt and didn't tell him until the end of last year. I wasn't expecting a gift but I thought I would have at least got a card, a happy birthday cuddle, even a night off from the cooking but a got nothing. It wasn't event mentioned!!!

I have been depressed in the past whereby I have gotten to the stage where I feel that my family would be better of without me, and this just makes me feel even more insignificant, unimportant!!!

My husbands birthday was last month, I got him a card from me and the kids. Oh he event got himself a birthday present, golf club membership, but I'm obviously not important enough or it wasn't worth his effort getting me a card.
Mothers Day is next week, and I probably not event get a card for that!!!!

What is the point in being in their lives!!!!!:(:(:(

msb5262

Hi OP,

Happy birthday for yesterday...you don't deserve to feel like this. Hope things improve for you.

MsB

ETA I've just spotted that your husband got himself a present - what are you going to get for yourself? Go on, do it!

fluffnutter

I'm really sorry that your family forgot your birthday - how crushing!

But I can't help thinking... why didn't you mention it?? That's a bit passive-aggressive! All that ends up happening is you get crosser and crosser and end up feeling really unloved and sorry for yourself. If you'd have said something, I expect your husband would have been mortified and would have rushed out to get you something and treat you to a nice evening, even if that was just a takeaway or your favourite bottle of wine. You'd have had a better evening, wouldn't you?

Bella73

Happy Birthday

How old your children? If of a reasonable age I would tell them and ask how they would feel if you ignored their birthday

Joons

Poor you, what a cheek your husband and kids have got, you need to tell them all so it doesn't happen again. Tell them how it made you feel, I'm sure it won't happen again. Keep perspective now, it's only one day a year.

alwaysworried_2

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm really sorry that your family forgot your birthday - how crushing!

But I can't help thinking... why didn't you mention it?? That's a bit passive-aggressive! All that ends up happening is you get crosser and crosser and end up feeling really unloved and sorry for yourself. If you'd have said something, I expect your husband would have been mortified and would have rushed out to get you something and treat you to a nice evening, even if that was just a takeaway or your favourite bottle of wine. You'd have had a better evening, wouldn't you?

I didn't mention it because I didn't think it was my place to remember them. but it wasn't just him that didn't say anything to me about it my parents and siblings didn't mention it either.
My husband did know what date it was yesterday because he mentioned the date and said he had to tax the car before the end of the month.

SavingPennies_2

Are you sure he forgot? Perhaps the debt issue is still niggling at him. Not excusing it but could be the reason, have you had a good talk about it? Sorry the rest of your family forgot I can understand you being upset but happy birthday for yesterday and I hope you get a mothers day card, or kiss at least!

Sommer43

Go and treat yourself. Even if a new pair of earrings and wear them and announce you treated yourself for your birthday. Don't be a victim in this, as insensitive as it was for you. Chuck in a bouquet of flowers to display on the dinner table and buy yourself a kid's birthday cake and offer them all a piece.

I'd be really going guns blazing out on this one. Kill them with kindness and a bit of reverse psychology, they'll get the message.

Sommer43

And send your parents a thank you card. For giving you life on the 27th February and whatever year you were born.

Person_one

fluffnutter wrote: »

I'm really sorry that your family forgot your birthday - how crushing!

But I can't help thinking... why didn't you mention it?? That's a bit passive-aggressive! All that ends up happening is you get crosser and crosser and end up feeling really unloved and sorry for yourself. If you'd have said something, I expect your husband would have been mortified and would have rushed out to get you something and treat you to a nice evening, even if that was just a takeaway or your favourite bottle of wine. You'd have had a better evening, wouldn't you?

For me, anything they did after I'd had to remind them would just feel hollow and worthless and I'd feel even more depressed.

Op, I 'm really sorry they let you down. I'd sit your husband down and calmly tell him how upset you were, and that you don't expect a repeat on Mother's Day.

alwaysworried_2

yes saving pennies the debt does still bother him and I can understand that. I wasn't expecting a gift but a card which costs less than £1.00 is obviously too much money to spend on me!

To the posted who said to buy myself a gift because he bought himself one. I won't do that, it would cause a war in our house. in the sales just after Christmas I bought myself a pair of boots because my old ones burst and they couldn't be repaired (cobbler confirmed this). They weren't expensive boots, they were from Primark, cost £15.00.

OMG the row that caused!!!! I understand I shouldn't get anything because I was the one that got us into debt, but even "happy birthday sweetheart" it doesn't cost anything. I'm just not worth that!