They forgot my birthday!!

Lozzy88

Your debt won't be cleared with golf clud memberships what a noob!

I would buy myself something I usually do.... lol

Shovel_Lad

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

I'll send you a present OP;

An hour consultation with a divorce lawyer.

Could be a good idea, she might need one.

alwaysworried wrote: »

The las time I got into debt he was so mad (and quite rightly so), he told me if I ever did anything like that again, it would be over and I believe him.

Sommer43

The kids I can just about excuse. My son can be a little remiss over the years since he's left home, but he has a great girl who is obsessed with lists. My daughter is like me, she never forgets a birthday. But the whole family?

This is about more than her birthday. She ran up debts, he is angry (understandable, it's not unusual) and he treats himself to a golf club membership, but he causes "rows" when she buys boots for £15... I wonder, did he discuss with her about his golf membership and take the lead and show where he had budgeted for this? Or how to budget at all, so she doesn't get into debt again? OP?

I read she's frightened of him and I could be wrong, but I picture a terrified little lady, who's deeply hurt because not one of her family gave her a kiss, a card, a happy birthday or a sweet FA. That's no way to live and I hope somewhere she finds some courage to do something nice for herself without the fear of a row.

pigpen

Get yourself something.. if it is good enough for him!!

Birthdays aren't really 'an event' once you are past 10 but to not acknowledge it at all.. maybe do the same with their birthdays.. it'll save money too

Pee

Would Relate help at all?

My ex ran up debts that I ended up paying back and I felt very bitter that I lost out on any treats during that time. I did get him birthday presents, but usually clothes and essentials that he couldn't get for himself - he wasn't working. I did make sure he had enough money for his hobby whenever possible, though, but I did resent the fact that it meant we had nothing left for holidays. He spent the money on drugs, but to be honest however he had frittered it away I would have felt the same. I always felt that he should be paying it back and often felt he didn't deserve to have any fun until he did, and that he should sort it out. It is one of the things that split us up. I repaid the debt, but I didn't forgive him. At the time if he spent £10 on drugs, i would be mad. If you spent the money shopping then £15 on boots would make me flip, too. (Assuming you had other shoes you could wear.) I don't know the rights and wrongs of your situation and I do know that it isn't all you or all him, but I do know that you need to sort it out.

meames_2

Make-it-3 wrote: »

He buys a golf club membership (aren't they mega bucks?) and you can't even replace a worn out pair of boots.

I don't know your history - but this sounds like a very troubled marriage. Is this his way of punishing you for the debt? Sounds like he wants you to stew in it.

This ^^, I am getting annoyed thinking about this situation. Yes, you may have gotten into debt but golf club membership and not even a happy birthday?

I can understand children forgetting to an extent but no matter how cross he is at you he could have got the kids to make a cake or something,

FBaby

Poor you, that's terrible. I can't imagine the important people in my life forgetting my birthday. I think there is no excuse at all for your partner, children, parents and siblings to forget. That is really sad A big big hug from you, I hope they all feel very bad for it, it's inexcusable.

Wine_of_the_World

I thought your signature said £1431 of debt- but £14311 is huge so I can see how it would cause resentment if it was built up without his knowledge.
Also re the boots – they might only be £15 but given the debt you run up I can see why you spending more money would cause resentment – it will take a while to re-build trust with your partner.
You come across (to me) as a little me, me, me. Why didn’t you mention it – at least to make it clear you weren’t expecting anything for your birthday – perhaps even your OH was trying to prove a point and assumed you would’ve wanted something . . .

abailey54

Happy Birthday alwaysworried

Sorry they let you down, I'd be terribly upset if this happened to me, it's pretty darn insulting. If my DH forgot or ignored it, I'd definitely be 'shutting up shop' for at least a month

Is he usually rubbish with dates? My DH knows the months of birthdays but doesn't always remember the exact day and always has to ask

You're better off getting this one off your chest - it's not good for you to stew on it. If you're too scared to do this then perhaps that says something else, whatever that is.

Saturnalia

Get yourself a late birthday present of a Match.com subscription. And a set of lucky undies. There are men out there who aren't disrespectful cretins.