Dad getting CAT scan results - sister not going with him!

Person_one

mrcow wrote: »

You don't have to be a "carer" to be able to care for someone.

If you live with someone who is 80, you can support them and be there for when they need you (for example after having an operation or cooking them a decent meal when you're cooking for yourself).

That doesn't make you a "carer" in the known sense of the word. It just makes you normal. Especially if that person is your Dad. I do the same for my husband. It doesn't make me his carer - just part of his family.

You do that with anybody you live with, regardless of their age, don't you?

I'm just pointing out the inconsistency in the OP's attitude.

mrcow

Person_one wrote: »

You do that with anybody you live with, regardless of their age, don't you?

Well, you'd think....but apparently not, if you're Andy's sister?

Like I said, she sounds extremely uncaring.

Person_one

mrcow wrote: »

Well, you'd think....but apparently not, if you're Andy's sister?

Like I said, she sounds extremely uncaring.

Its hardly an unbiased account we're getting. The intensity of his dislike of her leaps out of the screen.

SuzieSue

Person_one wrote: »

Its hardly an unbiased account we're getting. The intensity of his dislike of her leaps out of the screen.

Yes, but it is the only account we are likely to get, so we either accept it or make up our own accounts which people on here seem to like doing.

mrcow

Person_one wrote: »

Its hardly an unbiased account we're getting. The intensity of his dislike of her leaps out of the screen.

So what? Perhaps she deserves it. Who are you to sit and judge? Or to fill in gaps that may not even be there. What makes you think that we're even interested in whether you think the story is one sided or not?

We've enough keyboard warriors on here without you joining in to pick apart everything the OP is saying. He posted for a rant. He's perfectly entitled to have one. As are we all!

SuzieSue

mrcow wrote: »

So what? Perhaps she deserves it. Who are you to sit and judge? Or to fill in gaps that may not even be there. What makes you think that we're even interested in whether you think the story is one sided or not?

We've enough keyboard warriors on here without you joining in to pick apart everything the OP is saying. He posted for a rant. He's perfectly entitled to have one. As are we all!

My goodness, someone sensible on the Relationships board. Where have you been hiding?

Really most of the people on here are unbelievable so I am so relieved to find someone who doesn't question everything the OP says.

mrcow

SuzieSue wrote: »

someone who doesn't question everything the OP says.

:rotfl: I have my moments!

duchy

It isn't a case of sensible....more subjective.

I do think anyone who has cared for a relative is going to have a different perspective as they've dealt with the the concerned relatives who turn up once in a blue moon -tell the carer how they are doing it wrong and then sod off again. It gets very old very quickly.

Andy -is your Dad unhappy with the situation ? Have you discussed him living with you.....or indeed you moving closer to him ? If you're not happy with the way things are perhaps you could move so you can have more involvement day to day ?

Nicki

How weird to get the brother's version of events! Does anyone remember this thread at Christmas time:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4359713

Even if andy is not ceridwen's actual brother, the scenario is almost identical but this time told from the viewpoint of the brother who lives too far away to be involved on a day to day basis.

(my opinion on both threads by the way is that even if you loathe the sibling, you should try to maintain a good enough relationship to enable you to negotiate which of you will help the aged parent with the big things in life which they DO need help with. andy's dad seems to have the ordinary day to day stuff well in hand)

SuzieSue

Nicki wrote: »

How weird to get the brother's version of events! Does anyone remember this thread at Christmas time:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4359713

Even if andy is not ceridwen's actual brother, the scenario is almost identical but this time told from the viewpoint of the brother who lives too far away to be involved on a day to day basis.

(my opinion on both threads by the way is that even if you loathe the sibling, you should try to maintain a good enough relationship to enable you to negotiate which of you will help the aged parent with the big things in life which they DO need help with. andy's dad seems to have the ordinary day to day stuff well in hand)

I remember that and it is nothing like Andy's situation. For a start, the OP had her own house and wasn't freeloading off her father and wasn't asking the father to move further away from her brother so that she could go shopping.