Dad getting CAT scan results - sister not going with him!

Person_one

You know a lot about her daily routine for someone who lives 50 miles away.

Its obvious you don't like her, so unfortunately you aren't an impartial source here. I'm sure her side of the story would sound very different.

andygb

Caroline73 wrote: »

Are you sure you have all the information correct?

The hospital wouldn't have let him drive home after a GA anyway, however short or minor the procedure. 48 hours is the advised minimum to wait AFAIK.

I assure you that I would not have undertaken the trip if my sister had not given me all the facts.
How would the hospital have stopped him driving?
He fully intended to drive to and from hospital - not take a bus or taxi, or get a lift from anyone.

krlyr

Well, we're obviously only seeing your side of the story. You say your sister feeds your dad on ready-meals - so she is at least doing something for him.

If you feel your dad is in need of care and isn't receiving it, are you willing to take on the responsibility yourself? Or pay for a carer for him?

His health condition may be a good reason to start looking into the legal and practical issues of his care and so on. For example, power of attorney incase his mental health declined and he was unable to make important decisions himself. Perhaps some kind of care home or assisted living/carers coming into his home, etc. - could be good to discuss all this while he is still mentally competant.

andygb

Person_one wrote: »

You know a lot about her daily routine for someone who lives 50 miles away.

Its obvious you don't like her, so unfortunately you aren't an impartial source here. I'm sure her side of the story would sound very different.

No, I do not like her, due to the lies which she has circulated about my wife and I.
Yes, I do know what her daily routine is, and it never changes:
Get up at ten in the morning - sometimes later.
Watch the television or maybe take the bus to the shops.
Have lunch at twelve.
Watch television until nine at night.
Go to bed.
She has no friends, including relations, who now steer clear of her because she is not trustworthy.
She is a very controlling person.

andygb

krlyr wrote: »

Well, we're obviously only seeing your side of the story. You say your sister feeds your dad on ready-meals - so she is at least doing something for him.

If you feel your dad is in need of care and isn't receiving it, are you willing to take on the responsibility yourself? Or pay for a carer for him?

His health condition may be a good reason to start looking into the legal and practical issues of his care and so on. For example, power of attorney incase his mental health declined and he was unable to make important decisions himself. Perhaps some kind of care home or assisted living/carers coming into his home, etc. - could be good to discuss all this while he is still mentally competant.

I agree with your first point, because on forums we only ever hear one side of the story.
With regard to care, it thankfully appears that he will not require that, because the test results are clear.
They also plan to move even further away from us in the future, something which has been initiated by my sister, despite the fact that I have suggested that they could move closer to us, where the countryside is good for walking - something which my dad likes to do, and the housing is relatively affordable.
My sister however would like to move somewhere with "good shopping", something which my dad cannot abide.
I could try to distance myself from the whole situation, but I really feel that it is going to end badly.

Goldiegirl

Does your sister live in a house that is owned by your father, or is your sister the home owner?

Just wondering - if your father is the home owner, she can't really make him sell up and move further away.

If she's the home owner, then of course she is free to make her own decisions - if she wants to move further away, would if be possible to invite your father to live with you? You don't mention what your home circumstances are.

Perhaps another solution would be for carers to come in. It would relieve the pressure from your sister, and you would have more peace of mind that he was getting better care.

floss2

andygb wrote: »

...My sister is a carer who looks after people in their own homes.

andygb wrote: »

...Yes, I do know what her daily routine is, and it never changes:
Get up at ten in the morning - sometimes later.
Watch the television or maybe take the bus to the shops.
Have lunch at twelve.
Watch television until nine at night.
Go to bed...

So when does she go to work?
When does she provide your father with his ready meals?

Pthree

Why not ask him to move in with you if you dont think she's up to the job?

clairec79

andygb wrote: »

I assure you that I would not have undertaken the trip if my sister had not given me all the facts.
How would the hospital have stopped him driving?
He fully intended to drive to and from hospital - not take a bus or taxi, or get a lift from anyone.

When I had day surgery (wasn't under for long) someone had to come ad pick me up or they would not have discharged me - they had to come into the ward and speak to the nurses prior to me leaving with them

claire16c

andygb wrote: »

I assure you that I would not have undertaken the trip if my sister had not given me all the facts.
How would the hospital have stopped him driving?
He fully intended to drive to and from hospital - not take a bus or taxi, or get a lift from anyone.

When I had a GA I had to tell them who was coming to pick me and take me home, and I was given a leaflet that said not to drive or pretty much do anything - even operate a kettle for 48 hours after.

They also told me my insurance would probably be invalid anyway if I drove. They mentioned it several times.

I guess you could lie but thats plain stupidity.