Only child v having siblings

dumpy

From someone with a sibling, dont think just because there are two that the load of elderly parents willl be shared.

My sibling is useless, doesn't ring/write/communicate or help and lives abroad. I will be doing everything.

We fought like cat and dog as well, because we are very, very different people and you just don't know what you are going to get in the genetic lottery.

red_devil

my partner and i were one of three.

We dont talk to our siblings now in fact they have been nothing but a major pain in the !!!! since we all grew up and left home.

Lunar_Eclipse

**curlywurly** wrote: »

As for " you can spot an only child at half a mile" - how rude. Could the same could equally be said for "I could spot a sibling at half a mile"??

I didn't read it as rude, but more as a statement (opinion) which could have both positive and negative attributes associated with it.

I have worked with a handful of only children, as adults. They were all fairly serious and mature, with a couple being quite arrogant. I have no idea whether their lack of siblings had any bearing on this. Balancing that, I currently know a few only children extremely well and all, without fail are lovely and very well behaved. Again it's only a few, but they are the children who shared easiest when young, possibly because ownership/sharing was not something that was generally a daily requirement at home. I'm also quite jealous of their comparatively stress free family life. As an observer, I can't believe how much a second child changes the family dynamics.

notanewuser

You can tell that my sister and DH's youngest brother are the youngest children - everything is always somebody else's fault!!!!

DKLS

I loved being an only child and judging from my friends, colleagues and my wife's experience of siblings it isn't all good by any means.

If I did choose to have children I would have just the one although in my case that's a moot point

SkintGypsy

My view is, having kids is such a hard job that if you don't want more just because YOU want them then you will resent them. I'd never have more babies just for my partner, or so that my child wasn't an only. It's just not a good enough reason for me.

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

You can tell that my sister and DH's youngest brother are the youngest children - everything is always somebody else's fault!!!!

I've never heard of that as a younger child trait, it just sounds like you prefer yourself and your DH.

If anything, my youngest sibling is most like the stereotype of an older child.

You can definitely read too much into stuff like birth order. It does have an impact but its not the only thing that does and it doesn't define a person any more than their star sign does.

gizmodo_2

I am an only child and had a great life. I did however benefit from having cousins living literally round the corner and a good network of very local friends at a young age.

The only negative I can think of were holidays were sometimes lonely, but mostly my parents took me to places where I there would be other kids and helped me make friends. I made some really good holiday friends/penpals.

That said, OH and I have chosen to have two children. The main reason for us is we are both only children, so our daughter will never have aunts/uncles/cousins (which I do find odd as I have loads as my parents were from big families).

I don't know if they'll get on, but I like the idea that at least there will be someone when we are gone.

jellyhead

Person_one wrote: »

I've never heard of that as a younger child trait, it just sounds like you prefer yourself and your DH.

If anything, my youngest sibling is most like the stereotype of an older child.

You can definitely read too much into stuff like birth order. It does have an impact but its not the only thing that does and it doesn't define a person any more than their star sign does.

My husband is a youngest and it doesn't apply to him. It's not true of my youngest sibling either.

If parents always let the youngest blame others then it will become ingrained for that youngest, because it works for them. Most parents wouldn't allow the youngest to develop in such a way though.

Having said that, my teenager jokes that when he's 80 I'll be saying to him that his brother is 'only 71' and he should allow him some leeway :rotfl:

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

I've never heard of that as a younger child trait, it just sounds like you prefer yourself and your DH.

If anything, my youngest sibling is most like the stereotype of an older child.

You can definitely read too much into stuff like birth order. It does have an impact but its not the only thing that does and it doesn't define a person any more than their star sign does.

Absolutely not. DH is 8 years older than his youngest brother.

When he got into drugs in his teens it was DH's fault for going to university and leaving him.

When the business he started in his 20s went wrong because he ran it as a jolly for all his mates and forgot that he needed paying customers it was brother 2's fault for not investing more cash.

And just recently it's not his fault that he's blown up 3 cars in 2 years by not checking the oil. That one is his employer's fault apparently for making him too tired to remember to do basic car checks.