Son not inviting all cousin to his wedding?

johnswife

My daughter is getting married in May and we have a large family,
most of the cousins live in the same town and we see regularly. However only two of her cousins are coming to the wedding as she is closer to them. the others are invited to the evening reception.
It can be very difficult trying to do the "right thing" but you cant please everyone.

Ms_Chocaholic

My child's father didn't even invite his child to his wedding (child was about 7 at the time I think) but invited other family members, now that is a shocker, especially when he sent a selection of wedding photographs afterwards, the things people do amaze me sometimes

[Deleted User]

When i got re-married a year ago I didn't invite either of my sisters and their families to the wedding. They've had nothing to do with me for years despite me trying to maintain contact with them. My husband isn't close to his family either so we didn't invite his brothers. We wanted a small wedding with people who were part of our lives and knew us both so we had my children and partners, my parents and a few close friends.
I think i did 'upset' my sisters but i don't really care. I don't see them from one year to the next so what difference does it make if they're upset with me? We had a wonderful wedding with the people we love most

Imp

I can understand where your father is coming from. Many families only get together as a large family group at weddings and funerals. I expect your dad was looking forward to catching up with all his family.

You don't get the same happy atmosphere at funerals.

Caroline_a

To be honest, having read some of your posts OP, if I were your son I'd be off to Vegas or Gretna Green and just get married without any of them around!

System

I think its up to the bride and groom. I have nothing to do with my bio dad and consequently if and when i get married neither he nor any of his side of the family will be invited. Blood is not always thicker than water...

KxMx

Imp wrote: »

I can understand where your father is coming from. Many families only get together as a large family group at weddings and funerals. I expect your dad was looking forward to catching up with all his family.

You don't get the same happy atmosphere at funerals.

Family catch-up's are lovely but you certainly don't have weddings to please other people.

:rotfl:

If OP's ex wants a catch up with his family then he should pick up the phone/send an email!

On my Dad's side I would invite him, his wife, grandparents if alive, and any cousins who want to come to a wedding of mine, but not his step-kids or any of my aunts/uncles that side.

Please or offend I would not care, it would be my wedding and my say who can come, life is far too short to suffer things that make you unhappy just to please others who probably don't give a toss about you anyway..

Funky_Bold_Ribena

rose28454 wrote: »

but I do have a lot of problems as i have always been an enabler picking up other people's problems.

But that's your decision. I don't know you from Adam but if you know this then why do you keep on doing it? It's really easy - just don't get involved and tell people to sort things out themselves.

Why on earth are you telling your ex husband about any of this? It's up to your son to discuss it [or not] with his dad.

You can take the hair shirt off any time you want to. If you don't - then that's your decision to make.

alyssa_liss

Its their wedding , it should be their choice.

why should they invite people they dont see/ never met

peachyprice

rose28454 wrote: »

proposed inviting his father's brother and wife to the actual wedding and their children and partners to the evening do.

This is exactly what we did with my uncle and aunt (dad's brother) I don't really know the cousins, so they just came to the evening. No-one was offended, no-one minded, the cousins were really chuffed to be invited at all.