Son not inviting all cousin to his wedding?

Torry_Quine

I agree that it's up to the couple themselves who they invite and if they want to leave out part of their family it's up to them. Personally though unless there are reasons then I think that it is an opportunity to have a lovely family time together.

rose28454

They are paying most of the cost and the venue for wedding only hold 83 although they can have up to 120 for evening do but want to have only 83 for actual reception. I dont want to tell them what to do and if they said they would only invite say grandparents and parents and our duaghter I would not argue.

mountainofdebt

Am I the only one who thinks this is a conversation that should have taken place between the son and the father, and (I'm not being rude here honestly) the OP shouldn't have got involved?

rose28454

mountainofdebt wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks this is a conversation that should have taken place between the son and the father, and (I'm not being rude here honestly) the OP shouldn't have got involved?

Yes it probably should have but I am usually the broker in this family especially between my children and their Dad

warehouse

My Wife and Myself paid for our own wedding, and we didn't invite a single person who we hadn't seen or been in contact with in the last 5 years. It caused a few problems like your having OP, but our thoughts were why should we invite people who were not any part of our lives when we could have more friends to the whole day?

It was an easy decision to make. I applaud your Son.

CH27

rose28454 wrote: »

If you see the previous reply wrote you can maybe understand why he is like he is. When our son graduated hubby sucessfully ruined the day by drinking and crashing our hire car and we ended up just making the ceremony and missing the rest as we had to sort out the car that had been towed away. Will try to talk to him over the weekend about it.
He is always moaning that his children contact me more than him. They do mainly because I was the one who was always there for them and they are very protective of me.

After reading this I am surprised your son is even inviting his Dad to the wedding.
I would be terrified of a repeat.

teaandcakeordeath

I got married in November and I invited very few of my family. Same with my OH. It's expensive enough without inviting people you have no real relationship with. I'm on your son's side here- you want people you have a meaningful relationship with to be at your day. We had 33 guests between us and each one was special to us. (btw- I didn't invite my Dad...)

balletshoes

thorsoak wrote: »

This is your son's wedding - he and his fiancee should be able to chose who they invite.

exactly - and its exactly this sort of huffing from guests (ie not even the bride or groom, the only ones who have a say) that causes unnecessary wedding stress.

Person_one

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Going against the grain I think it's a bad idea not to invite family and may put a strain on family relationships.

Blood is thicker than water.

I don't believe in blood being thicker than water. It just isn't true for many many people. Shared DNA doesn't mean you'll automatically like or get on with people. Inviting these cousins could be like inviting vague acquaintances or work colleagues you never really spend time with. It would be for me and some of my cousins.

I think you get to choose your family these days, and it can be a mixture of relatives and non relatives.

mountainofdebt

rose28454 wrote: »

Yes it probably should have but I am usually the broker in this family especially between my children and their Dad

I still dont' see why you had to have this conversation instead of your son ....sounds as if he took the easy way out and let you have all the grief that his decision has caused.