MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

WalkingOnADream

Thanks for all the responses to my post, sorry I'm only just getting around to replying.

I had a lot of support regarding breastfeeding in the first week which was helpful but I was too exhausted and distressed to follow all their recommendations. I wish I could turn the clock back and start out again knowing what I know now. I'm still popping him on the b00b a few times a day but he can be on there for over an hour and is not satisfied. I'm expressing less often as I was only getting a total of about 3oz a day as I wouldn't get anything out on some occasions. I know my supply will be badly messed up, I'm taking fenugreek but don't know how effective it is.

We've had a bad couple of nights with him being really unsettled and crying unless being held. I'm shattered but I can't catch up on sleep during the day as I've never been able to sleep in the day no matter how tired.

Re. Family - I too have found family to be annoying. He is my first so I know how excited everyone is but I really would just like to be left alone. He was a week old before we had a day without visitors and therefore our first day as a family. I think this contributed to my breastfeeding problems as I was trying to do skin to skin as often as possible on advice from breastfeeding support team but it was impossible when people were constantly in the house and ringing and texting.

I'm still getting constant texts and calls to check up on us, but it's getting on my nerves. I don't have time to check my phone or respond so when I don't I get further messages asking why I'm not replying. I barely have time to eat, drink or wee so replying to texts asking how he slept last night is not a priority!

WalkingOnADream

I meant to ask how old were your little ones before you left them with others. My mum keeps asking to have him for a couple of hours 'to help me out' but I think he's far too young as he's not even 3 weeks yet. She has even asked to have him overnight! Apparently I am being too clingy and its not good for either of us!? But I don't see how this will help me as I'd just be worrying about him anyway and I wouldn't be able to settle.

*Nutella*

I'd send out a mass text every now and then, just thanking everyone for their calls and messages, letting them know you're doing well but he's keeping you very busy, and you'll get in touch on a one to one basis once things settle down a bit. I did this a few times I know not everyone would be happy with this approach, but you'll probably have a good sense of who amongst your relatives and friends could cope with that! And if they can't... tough. In the beginning, you just need to focus on getting through the day in one piece - food and shower is a bonus, and replying to people's messages is, as you say, way down there on the priority list...

ETA: On leaving them with others - at 18 months, I still haven't (nursery aside), as we don't have family nearby. I'd say it would depend entirely on you and your little one, and what you're comfortable with. If your gut feeling is 'no', then 'no' it is. Personally I'd have loved to have been able to have my mum look after my LO for a couple of hours so I could sleep or get some housework done, but it's a very personal decision, so it doesn't really matter what others think iyswim.... There have been heated debates about this very issue on this thread in the past! But if you wanted to try it, an hour or two during the day would be a good place to start - overnight sounds a bit full on if she hasn't yet looked after him during the day!

*Nutella*

Delain! You're back! I've missed you - hope all is well?

Claree__x

WalkingOnADream wrote: »

I meant to ask how old were your little ones before you left them with others. My mum keeps asking to have him for a couple of hours 'to help me out' but I think he's far too young as he's not even 3 weeks yet. She has even asked to have him overnight! Apparently I am being too clingy and its not good for either of us!? But I don't see how this will help me as I'd just be worrying about him anyway and I wouldn't be able to settle.

My Mum had Eilis overnight at 4 weeks. Sounds awful but I was so glad of the break! I wouldn't have trusted anyone else though. She's staying with my inlaws tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I know that's awful. It's nothing personal but it just feels like the first time I'm actually leaving her.

delain

*Nutella* wrote: »

Delain! You're back! I've missed you - hope all is well?

Hey hey How are you and LO? I used to put Nutella (or whatever cheapy version we had!) on rich tea biscuits as a child.

Apart from a poorly little miss we are OK. She has the horrible cough/cold that's everywhere at the mo! Going to call the docs in a minute as I'm worried it might go onto her chest

Went to Primark this morning for some gloves for the girls and came out £36 lighter :eek: I did buy an amazing booster bra for £6... Not because I want huge knockers but so my considerable bottom doesn't look out of proportion :rotfl::rotfl:

My younger two don't leave me usually but the older girls frequently do (at one point ex and I had shared care, thankfully that didn't last!)

Welcome to any new people :wave: I do apologise for being AWOL. I've been reading an SK book called Black House, which is an odd one that sort of ties in with the gunslinger books, as well as being run off my feet with everything else.

Gillyx

WalkingOnADream wrote: »

I meant to ask how old were your little ones before you left them with others. My mum keeps asking to have him for a couple of hours 'to help me out' but I think he's far too young as he's not even 3 weeks yet. She has even asked to have him overnight! Apparently I am being too clingy and its not good for either of us!? But I don't see how this will help me as I'd just be worrying about him anyway and I wouldn't be able to settle.

There is no right or wrong answer to this. You aren't being clingy at all. I didn't leave my LO until 6months and we went straight to the cinema and straight back, he was in bed the whole time and didn't know we had gone but that's what I felt comfortable with, everyone is so different. We also shared a room until 13 months, so many people said it was far too long, but it suited me! I think he was around 18 months when he had his first overnight away, I had bad news and didn't feel able to care for him that night.


It's how you feel. Don't be pressured by others hugs xxx

BabaMoose

lobey wrote: »

Sorry I meant I was told not to let her sleep longer than 4 hours until she was 8 weeks old and she will be 4 weeks tomorrow!

Hey lobey - I know others have responded to this but just thought I'd mention what my HV just told me.

We've just had the 12day check and I asked about waking for feeds etc. as when we go out and about during the day Jack tends to sleep for hours on end and I haven't been waking him for feeding (despite reading about the 2hour day, 4hour night recommendations).

She said that babies don't cry when they are 'empty' as such but when their blood sugar drops below a certain level, so if they are healthy and happy sleeping she didn't think waking them was a good idea. She said that as they go on instinct when they need feeding they will wake and let you know about it. She said that the only time she would consider advising waking to feed is if there was a problem with weight gain or illness that required giving them a little assistance along the way.

I certainly feel a little less guilty for letting him sleep through, he is gaining weight well and doesn't appear to be overly hungry after a big sleep.



This is my last day with my OH on paternity leave as he is back to work Mon (OK, so I have the weekend too)... scary times ahead when it is just me and the baby! I think I might be on here posting more often instead of just lurking...

Mrshaworth2b

Walkingonadream - like Nutella said there have been heated debates on here about when to have someone watch lo - for heavens sake don't say "Palm my baby off" and we won't have a repeat of last time (joke for the mums that have been posting longer)

Anyway - my mil is 2 mins away (actually 7, she counted when walking) and has watched lo a few times, mainly when I know he'll sleep but he once screamed and cried on her for around half hour and since she's not wanted to watch him whilst awake. It's however you feel comfortable. I have taken on a second job so I can reduce my hrs at my old place so I can not have lo looked after . I hate the thought of anyone else looking after lo, at 8 months old.

*Nutella*

Mrshaworth2b wrote: »

my mil is 2 mins away (actually 7, she counted when walking)

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: