40+ and single on 'single awareness day" again! Anyone else?

supermum38

Hmmm. Redman, will you be my valentine too?

Shame you are so far way!

Redman30

Always the way lass

Just keep smiling, there might be something around the corner for people like us. Well there'd better be anyway :P

julie2710

Just read this and all I can say is me too! I've been "single" for the best part of four and a half years. That doesn't mean I haven't been on dates but certainly haven't met anyone I would call even a slightly significant other.

I've tried dating sites, could tell some absolute horror stories from those experiences. I try not to be too judgemental but I sometimes wonder about the absolute confidence of some guys! Other than that there were a lot of propositions from very young guys! Anyone who I chatted to who was near my age either had older children and was looking for someone who had no ties, so maybe older children too, or they hadn't had children yet and were looking for someone to settle down with and have children. As I have two young boys I just didn't fit into to their wish list

I'm beginning to think I might as well give up until the boys are older but by then I'll be too old to even bother!

supermum38

Maybe there should be a 'moneysavingexpert dating' site?
Then we'll all immediately have something in common!

Redman30

julie2710 wrote: »

Just read this and all I can say is me too! I've been "single" for the best part of four and a half years. That doesn't mean I haven't been on dates but certainly haven't met anyone I would call even a slightly significant other.

I've tried dating sites, could tell some absolute horror stories from those experiences. I try not to be too judgemental but I sometimes wonder about the absolute confidence of some guys! Other than that there were a lot of propositions from very young guys! Anyone who I chatted to who was near my age either had older children and was looking for someone who had no ties, so maybe older children too, or they hadn't had children yet and were looking for someone to settle down with and have children. As I have two young boys I just didn't fit into to their wish list

I'm beginning to think I might as well give up until the boys are older but by then I'll be too old to even bother!

That's the problem I think, the genuine types of both sexes are put off by the bizarre minority. An awful lot of dating site men use the shotgun approach and just try to hit as wide a group of targets as they can, not having a clue what to do when they land one (or more often, a very accurate idea of a plan) Either way, it's not going to be good for anyone.

There's a few genuine ones about mind, we don't mind children - we realise people have a history, we wouldn't be who we are without it now would we? Kids, no kids, want kids, it's all subjective and certainly not a decision to be made before a date! People are odd, but there's someone similarly odd out there for you - they just might be hidden behind the chaff of idiots trying to massage their egos.

julie2710

Redman30 wrote: »

That's the problem I think, the genuine types of both sexes are put off by the bizarre minority. An awful lot of dating site men use the shotgun approach and just try to hit as wide a group of targets as they can, not having a clue what to do when they land one (or more often, a very accurate idea of a plan) Either way, it's not going to be good for anyone.

There's a few genuine ones about mind, we don't mind children - we realise people have a history, we wouldn't be who we are without it now would we? Kids, no kids, want kids, it's all subjective and certainly not a decision to be made before a date! People are odd, but there's someone similarly odd out there for you - they just might be hidden behind the chaff of idiots trying to massage their egos.

Hang on a minute are you insinuating I might be odd! :rotfl:

Redman30

julie2710 wrote: »

Hang on a minute are you insinuating I might be odd! :rotfl:

Damn No, it's everyone else who is, obviously

nettttie

supermum I'm exactly the same, single 12 years, 2 teenage lads - can't even take a phone call in the house!! Relate to so much you say, am on 3 dating sites. Have arranged a game of pool with someone who actually lives in the village tomorrow or next weekend, am already out saturday.
Just arranged a friend date with a fellow pofer for week on sunday.
I never do the online flirt thing and tend to mainly go on 2 friend dates before I judge. I do find the men don't want anything longterm though. I have to make myself go on dates as otherwise I'd not go out, money is tight but I'll go dutch or groupon! lol
God loves a trier!
As for today I was first fed up and then I thought it was nice the amount of my friends who had decent fellas who'd bought flowers, chocs etc.
BTW I also need somewhere I can escape to!

Maureen43

This thread is such a breath of fresh air. I feel better just reading it!

Everyone I know on dating sites has found love very quickly, but none of them were single mums with two teenagers!

I am coming to realise that, from a bloke's point of view, I am really not an attractive prospect. Although I am slim, fit, reasonably attractive (I think!), solvent, sensible, with no issues or hang ups, I think the "two teenagers" thing cancels out all of the above.

Single dads on dating sites treat it like a job interview and only think about how a woman and her commitments should fit in around them and not about any similar compromise they might make for a woman.

Those without children expect you to be available all the time which of course I am not.

Singlemum and fbaby and nettie and others - where do you all live? Would love to meet! I am nearish Bristol.

nlj1520

don't give up totally on the dating sites.....keeping your sense of humour is really important! I met some very 'unusual' people, had a few relationships (short-term) and after about 18 months met my current partner and we have been together nearly 4 years! Neither of us want to live with anyone ever again, so our expectations match. He has 2 adult daughters, I have a disabled son and when there are problems with the kids we both recognise that their needs come first.
I went on the dating sites looking for male company rather than a relationship, in fact at first I positively didn't want a relationship and the idea of being intimate with anyone gave me a panic attack.
When I realised that my OH and I looked like it would turn into a relationship I went into a blind panic!!!! He was patient, persistant and kind with my pathetic ramblings and here we are..........happy, monogamous, committed but free to do our own things as well.
Should also mention that I was 49 when I met him, fat but not obese and a smoker..................so really all you 'youngsters' out there, relax about it, try to laugh rather than become cynical, keep hope but most important learn to be happy alone first, then think about letting someone else into your lives!
All the very, very best of luck in finding whatgever you decide you want.