Awkward situation with a friend

jenhug

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

I seriously hope she did not say that!

poet123

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

I doubt that you were, you simply don't come across that way at all. Please don't let her manipulate you from that angle. You also need to think about what your OH will think about all of this, please don't make any commitments to help financially till you have discussed it with him. You could end up sacrificing your own relationship for tee this if you make a knee jerk reaction.

gingin_2

koalamummy wrote: »

We are meeting for lunch tomorrow for a longer chat without my children.

It sounds like a business transaction and she sounds like a pushy sales person. She's meeting you for lunch to go for the hard sell, get you at your most relaxed and then go in for the kill by asking you to lend money. She'll tell you exactly what she thinks you need to hear in order to seal the deal.

I too think you sound a lovely person but she is taking advantage of your sensible, good nature.

balletshoes

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

I'm sure you didn't - surely your ex-friend didn't say that? Why would you even think that?

victory

koalamummy wrote: »

Thank you again everybody for taking the time to consider my situation.

Phone call went well albeit a little awkward and stilted at the outset. I have had a sincere apology for being ignored for so long, which as I had come to expect from what some posters had stated, an explanation that being around me and my at times annoyingly happy family unit was too difficult especially since I had a habit of making light of horrendous pregnancies. If I can though please let me justify myself a bit by saying that finding humour in it was my coping mechanism, at no time did I ever view any of it as a joke.

I have been filled in on the background of what has happened to her medically over the last 2 years. It is pretty horrific and to be honest makes me feel terrible for how easy life has been for me.

We are meeting for lunch tomorrow for a longer chat without my children.

Why does she have to put her medical history on you?

You do not have to feel guilty whatsoever, you never made this happen to her, it's her body, her life, her medical situation, yours has been easier and that gives her the right to scream and rage at you? To be consumed with anger and resentment towards you?

YOU NEVER CAUSED ANY OF THIS.

meritan makes a lot of sense. YOU are being played, don't give in to the emotional blackmail and hand over the money

meritaten

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

heartless, gloating moo? NEVER! just on this thread you have proved yourself the opposite!

being joyful at at the birth of a child is not being heartless! or gloating - its being a woman! if she doesnt understand that...........I was going to say 'I feel sorry for her' ............but I dont - I want to slap her!

purple.sarah

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

You were going through a very difficult time too, you do not need to apologise for making a joke if that got you through the day. You do not need to apologise for being "annoyingly happy" with your family. That does not make you "a heartless gloating moo" and I hope she did not imply that. You come across as very sensitive to her feelings but don't invalidate yours.

victory

No because I am going to slap her first;)

victory

koalamummy wrote: »

I thought that I was being sensitive, however I came across as being a heartless gloating moo. Hard not to feel bad.

No no, stop this now. Don't be 'talked down' you know it was not like that at all, your ex friend has no right to make you feel bad, not once she decided she was off for 2 years and only to come back to lay all the negatives at your door, make you feel bad and also ask for money, what a charmer:eek:

koalamummy

Sorry I haven't made that one too clear but what she actually said that my family unit was just a bit too like the Waltons for her to be able to cope with at that time. I drew the implications myself.