Awkward situation with a friend

koalamummy

I also had my children with me all of the time due to my younger sons reflux, so to spend time with me you were obliged to spend time with him too.

auntiesue

I once had a 'friend' who fed me a big sob story and me being a big soft touch, like you OP, I went ahead and paid a debt for her on my credit card. She forgot to tell me at the time she was sitting on my couch in tears that she was about to do a flit from her rented home owing so many others a lot of money. It took me 3 years to pay that 'favour' off.

OP please, please. please do not give her any money. She is NOT your friend!

poet123

koalamummy wrote: »

Sorry I haven't made that one too clear but what she actually said that my family unit was just a bit too like the Waltons for her to be able to cope with at that time. I drew the implications myself.

Fair enough, but she saw what she wanted to see; which was what she wanted and couldn't have, without all the issues that you had to contend with.

Few of us have a Walton scenario, often the Walton's didn't have that scenario. You cannot be responsible for her take on your life when measured against her own.

Do not extrapolate guilt from that comment.

sweetsheep84

My folks have always told me not to involve friendship with money. And how right they are. You being a friend with someone does not require your financial support. But mostly it is about you giving them your emotional/moral support.

How would you know if she has not changed her view and still angry at you for having what she cannot have.

lindseykim13

koalamummy wrote: »

I also had my children with me all of the time due to my younger sons reflux, so to spend time with me you were obliged to spend time with him too.

Thats tough though and as your friend she should of accepted that you'd have your child with you. I take mine wherever i want to take them it's not your fault she can't have kids. If she didn't want to see you and your children and she didn't feel that the friendship was worth the pain of seeing a friends baby she would have cleared off.
Oh wait thats exactly what she did- in the words of mr t 'she ain't no friend sucker'

meritaten

victory wrote: »

No because I am going to slap her first;)

I am furious with this woman koalamummy! first because she caused you pain at what should have been a happy time and second because she is now twisting things and making YOU feel guilty! YOU have nothing to feel guilty about!
and this carp about a Walton family! emotional blackmail hun - dont fall for it!
and victory you are welcome to go second!

Counting_Pennies_2

Enjoy your meet up and seeing your old friend again.

I would not recommend being so harsh as others are suggesting. I too made light when I was going through some of the tougher times of my life. Because I made light my friends mistook it for attention seeking and I was dropped from quite a height and it has been hard to rekindle any kind of relationship with them in the 5 years since. However I would have loved to meet up again and be friends but the hurt is too great.

Take care of yourself, if you can rekindle your friendship tentatively. I would be very concerned about the money aspect and would suggest keeping financials out of the relationship and support her emotionally if the friendship rekindles enough.

Take care of yourself

mountainofdebt

meritaten wrote: »

and victory you are welcome to go second!

Well you pair get fight it out amongst yourselves but I'm going first ......

.....might have to add a good shake to koala though - its plainly obvious that this 'friend' is playing her like a fiddle.....

mountainofdebt

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I too made light when I was going through some of the tougher times of my life. Because I made light my friends mistook it for attention seeking and I was dropped from quite a height and it has been hard to rekindle any kind of relationship with them in the 5 years since.

But a true friend would know when you're making light of a sh!tty situation.....

purple.sarah

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Enjoy your meet up and seeing your old friend again.

I would not recommend being so harsh as others are suggesting. I too made light when I was going through some of the tougher times of my life. Because I made light my friends mistook it for attention seeking and I was dropped from quite a height and it has been hard to rekindle any kind of relationship with them in the 5 years since. However I would have loved to meet up again and be friends but the hurt is too great.

Take care of yourself, if you can rekindle your friendship tentatively. I would be very concerned about the money aspect and would suggest keeping financials out of the relationship and support her emotionally if the friendship rekindles enough.

Take care of yourself

Real friends wouldn't drop you, they'd talk it through. Dropping you because they think you're "attention seeking" is a playground thing to do. Sometimes going through tough times shows us who our real friends are.