frustrated!!

mucklebones

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Well. I was only having problems about the weekend me wanting a day off now it seems its my whole week lol.

But your feeling frustrated all week about it, and quite rightly so. Just a few adjustments to your weekdays to begin with would make you feel much better I am sure.

Your partner needs a good kick up the backside though and you do deserve a weekend lay-in, however since its not as simple as sorting your week routine as you will need your partner to change to accomplish this, focusing on freeing some time up in the week so you can feel better is a good first step.

Take care. x

mummyroysof3

glad you not offended..sometimes it takes an outsider to point out things you could change when stuck in a rut.

just out of interest what are weekends like? can any of school work be left till then and could washing ironing of your and sons clothes be sorted then.

i see what you mean about school run...we get home quick cos one of the kids usually decides half way they want the toilet and we in a hurry lol

sweetsheep84

Thanks mucklebones. Appreciate it. And fair point lol.

365days. Point taken. Will look into that. Thanks.

mummyroysof3

i see what you mean about wanting time to yourself but without being mean you do have a child at full time school..use that time to do what you want once a week or something and with other adjustments you may feel better. i get 2 hours child free 4 afternoons a week and they all in bed at 7..i do get up between 3 and 5am with youngest who has learning disabilities though

Amanda65

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

4:30 up doing OH breakfast/lunch
5:00 he gets up
5:25 he leaves then I tidy up the previous nights mess (plates, cups left around). Iron DS uniform, have a cuppa.

Why do you need to iron uniform everyday? And as DS is in reception it surely would only take 5 minutes to whizz over a top.

7:00 DS up, breakfast, read a lil book, make him his packed lunch (sometimes i do it with his dads)
8:00 get myself and himself ready dressed for school
8:30 we leave
How can it take an hour and a half for you to get yourself and one small child out of the house? Especially as you are not showering / bathing in the morning

9:30 back home, another cuppa, hoover (terrible hair loss), on mse

'Losing' 2 and a half hours a day hoovvering and on MSE seems a little excessive if you are effectivey putting in a 19 hour day.
12:00 dishes, start part cook our supper sometimes baking, clean toilet (boys) and bath tub (hair loss)

Batch cook and freeze some stuff so you are not cooking every day. Whizz round bathroom in the 4 hours you have between getting up and leaving for school. And teach your boys to aim better if it's that bad - especially OH (who if he can't control his 'spray' would be cleaning up after himself if he was my OH!)

2:40 leave to pick up DS
3:40 home, DS homework, reading
4:30 finish off dinner
5:00 food time
6:00 bath time
7:30 his bed time (in between 5 till then also his dads food and shower)

Accept it is very easy to 'lose' time between coming home from school and DS's bed but if you had batch cooked some food / prepped it all earlier that would free up some time

8:00 my shower/bath time
8:30 laundry in
9:30 laundry out (sometimes longer depends) then clean up my kitchen or dry my hair.

With three of you, one a 4 year old, you seriously need to do washing everyday ? How mucky do your clothes get?

Between 10:30 till 11:30 my bed time.

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

I tend to find hidden away plates by OH. Annyoing habbit.

What :eek::eek: Why would you 'hide' dirty crockery???

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

I dont really have a problem with doing all this work. I just want a Sat or Sun morning to myself. Not a mum or a wife. But myself.

Why does it have to be at the weekend? If you make some adjustments you could have two or three mornings a week to yourself

Tbh OP, and without wanting to sound harsh, I think maybe you make an awful lot of work for yourself and lose lots of hours each week. Try writing a 'to Do' list for the day /week and tick off jobs as they get done. If you weren't getting up so early maybe you could all get up with DS at a weekend and go out as a family

claire16c

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi claire16c. He has spellings 4 days a week. So friday he has none. Reading takes bit of time too coz he does not concentrate. I part cook some food during day time then finish it off when DS does his homework. Dishwasher isnt possible as no space in kitchen. I clean a lot coz the flat gets mouldy by windows and i have asthma. I do agree with him trying make his own lunch. However, he does not always do it then resulting him spending money on food when he could have saved it. Thanks.

I understand the spending money on food thing, my DH does the same thing. The problem is solved by me buying suitable lunch stuff for him in the weekly shop - which HE puts together to make lunch with. If he doesnt do it, I just keep reminding him until he does- there is no reason why your OH cant set himself a reminder on his phone or something.

Why not do the reading or spelling with your DS sometimes in the mornings in the hour before school? Rather than always after school?

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi peachyprice, morning can be porridge with oats, or his kind of porridge (maize flour with peanut butter). If he cooks it, I spend double time on cleaning the kitchen after he leaves. However, cereals it will be from now on.

Good idea. Stop buying anything thats a pain to clean if he doesnt soak/clean the dishes properly.

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

4:30 up doing OH breakfast/lunch
5:00 he gets up
5:25 he leaves then I tidy up the previous nights mess (plates, cups left around). Iron DS uniform, have a cuppa.
7:00 DS up, breakfast, read a lil book, make him his packed lunch (sometimes i do it with his dads)
8:00 get myself and himself ready dressed for school
8:30 we leave
9:30 back home, another cuppa, hoover (terrible hair loss), on mse
12:00 dishes, start part cook our supper sometimes baking, clean toilet (boys) and bath tub (hair loss)
2:40 leave to pick up DS
3:40 home, DS homework, reading
4:30 finish off dinner
5:00 food time
6:00 bath time
7:30 his bed time (in between 5 till then also his dads food and shower)
8:00 my shower/bath time
8:30 laundry in
9:30 laundry out (sometimes longer depends) then clean up my kitchen or dry my hair.
Between 10:30 till 11:30 my bed time.

Half an hour to make breakfast and his lunch is ridiculous. If he makes his own cereal and lunch, youve solved that problem though. you do not need to be getting up at 4.30!

Wash and iron your DS uniform on the sunday evening or Monday during the day, then its all ready for the week, no one wants to be ironing every day. Your OH can do his own washing if his uniform needs washing every day. My DH's job means he does a lot of washing but anything he needs ready for work he does himself unless its been put in with a bigger wash.

It doenst take from 8-9 to get dressed, so in that time you could be clearing up the breakfast stuff so there is no need for that when you get back from the school run.

Even if you have asthma you dont need to clean or hoover every single day. Why not start changing that to every other day and youll realise its fine and give yourself a break. Then see how far you can stretch it out.

It seems like you have a combination of creating work for yourself, and having an OH that needs to grow up and look after himself. He should be treating you as his partner not as a cook/cleaner.

I also agree with the comment above about perhaps looking into finding a part time job even if its just a couple of days a week in the school hours.

sweetsheep84

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

glad you not offended..sometimes it takes an outsider to point out things you could change when stuck in a rut.

just out of interest what are weekends like? can any of school work be left till then and could washing ironing of your and sons clothes be sorted then.

i see what you mean about school run...we get home quick cos one of the kids usually decides half way they want the toilet and we in a hurry lol

Weekends are pretty chilled for the boys lol. DS has reading only (spellings is mon to thu). Only 2 sets of uniforms. He outgrows them quickly and tbh, we are not in good financial situation to be getting more plus OH wants to move (again). OHs uniform needs washing daily (1set given. Why? I dunno lol).

I still will cook and clean on weekend. And since they are both home, they want to eat more (boys). OH has a good appetite and skinny frame (wanna murder him sometimes dur to jealousy lol). DS is just like that. We take him out and stuff. So yeah. Not as tight schedule.

claire16c

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Weekends are pretty chilled for the boys lol. DS has reading only (spellings is mon to thu). Only 2 sets of uniforms. He outgrows them quickly and tbh, we are not in good financial situation to be getting more plus OH wants to move (again). OHs uniform needs washing daily (1set given. Why? I dunno lol).

I still will cook and clean on weekend. And since they are both home, they want to eat more (boys). OH has a good appetite and skinny frame (wanna murder him sometimes dur to jealousy lol). DS is just like that. We take him out and stuff. So yeah. Not as tight schedule.

At the weekend there is no reason why your OH cant do half the cooking. If he cant cook, teach him.

podperson

Hi OP,
Completely agree that your OH needs to buck up and at least cover one morning a week so you can have a break. As others have said it might be best to physically leave the house at least at first then you can't get 'roped' into doing anything - if he HAS to manage then he will do. Your DS will be fine with cereal on a Saturday morning and then there's no cooking needed. Also if he's making more work for you by 'hiding' dishes round the house then I'd be very tempted to make a pile of them and that's his to wash when he gets in. If he actually has to clean up his mess then I have a feeling he'll break the habit pretty quickly - but either way it's less work for you.

I do agree though that you might be making things a bit harder work for you then you need to. Your OH could easily get cereal himself in the morning and take sandwiches from the fridge (can make these the night before with DS's) then you wouldn't need to get up an hour before him! Also does your DS only have one set of uniform? It sounds like you wash it at night, leave it to dry overnight and iron in the morning? Obviously I don't know what exactly his uniform consists of but maybe buying a pack of shirts (ie from Asda/Tesco) might save you a lot of time if you could have them ready for the whole week. I hope you don't think I'm criticising but your day sounds exhausting so I do think try and look at anything you can do to make it easier on yourself x

sweetsheep84

I do reading a bit (not much) in the morning. He eats slow, walks slow, writes slow. Generally a slow child. It does take 15 min if cooking his porridge. I have timed myself doing DS lunch. Its under 10 min including peeling and slicing fruit, veg sticks for him. It only takes us half an hour to get dressed with me straightening hair. Like I said, I will try to cut myself some slack and put more on OH.

With regards to asthma, there is constantly enough moisture for the mould to grow. I open windows a bit, have tried leaving it for 2 days but no, I am not fine with it. And will look into getting a de-humidfier.

Cant batch cook. Only a small fridge. No space for freezer. Think that is all for now lol.