frustrated!!

LannieDuck

Hmm.. if your DS is in reception class, presumably you have time during the day to do the housework etc. Make OH sandwiches the previous evening for the next morning. Not sure you need to be up so early or working so late into the night.

I would save the evenings for having time to do what you want to do, same as your OH has to (you can't really complain about working so late at night if you've chosen to have your time off during the day instead).

sweetsheep84

Amanda65 wrote: »

Why do you have to make a grown man a packed lunch ??? If you are going to continue making it, could you not make it the night before so that you at least get up a little later in the mornings.

Not a very organised person in morning. Has a habit of leaving phone and sat nav and forgets things he needs. So if I was gonna get up to make sure he is prepared for the day, might as well make his food (neither of us like sarnies been made too long ago)

loracan1

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Not a very organised person in morning. Has a habit of leaving phone and sat nav and forgets things he needs. So if I was gonna get up to make sure he is prepared for the day, might as well make his food (neither of us like sarnies been made too long ago)

He's never ever going to learn 'not to forget' if he's got you getting up at 4.30! Much of this is your own making.

sweetsheep84

loracan1 wrote: »

He's never ever going to learn 'not to forget' if he's got you getting up at 4.30! Much of this is your own making.

Oh yeah. I know partialy it is my own making. That is why i want to sort this as much as I can.

VestanPance

You sound like his mum, not his wife.

He's a grown man. He shouldn't be expecting you to run around after him making packed lunches and barking for his dinner. He should be making sure he's helping out at home.

Sounds like he's gone straight from having his mum run around after him to you doing it.

sweetsheep84

sassyblue wrote: »

So? He can fetch his lazy a55 some toast or a bowl of cereal.

I know it's hard but STOP doing it and he'll learn. I understand as my hubby didn't pull his weight at times but he's getting better.

Thanks. I will be on strike this weekend.

Alikay

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Forgot to mention, what really gets me up to cook is my DS saying he is hungry. Otherwise I would stay in bed on a Sat or Sun (he eats cereals 5 days a week so on weekends, he likes scrambled eggs with bread)

We tend to get up at the same time at weekends as small children's body-clocks don't do lie-ins! It sounds like you feel a bit resentful about the work your putting in with your son too (prob because you feel OH isn't contributing), but honestly, your DS doesn't NEED scrambled eggs at the weekend or so much hard work put into his homework. Chill out and enjoy him while he's little - you don't need to be supermum!

Tish_P

Make some compromises. Sandwiches can be a few hours old without killing anyone. Cooked breakfasts can be an occasional treat not a weekly ritual. A normal house doesn't need hours of cleaning per day.

Maybe your husband thinks you make work for yourself and so is reluctant to take on any of it because he doesn't see it as needing to be done?
You need to talk to him about a household time budget and decide as a couple what needs doing and a fair way to divvy it up. If he actually is a completely unreasonable slave driver who'll never change his ways, this'll help you establish that beyond doubt so you can start packing your bags - but more likely he's just being thoughtless or feeling defensive.

sweetsheep84

Hi London50, so there is hope!!!! Thanks.

LannieDuck, thanks. Will try find a way of saving time and nor getting up early.

Hi VestanPance, oh yes I know. That is why I want this sorted. Thanks

claire16c

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi all, just feel a bit frustrated with my OH. Long story short is he works and I stay home and run the house. He thinks he works so it is a big deal that when he gets home, he parks his backside down and expects to be treated like the king. What he does not see is me cleaning up, doing laundry, budgeting, making sure our bills get paid, doing homework with our DS, cooking, etc. Since he gets his weekend off, I asked him if I can have a morning off either on Sat or Sun. Answer is yes but when it comes to the agreed day, I always get the 'I am hungry. Go and cook' look. I am very tired of getting my point across to him as he fails to listen on this part. I get up at half 4 to make him packed lunch and breakfast Mon to Fri (trying to save money so he does not have to eat out). Sometimes I do not get to bed till half 11 trying to get pen ink off my DS school shirts or DS wakes up screaming for me!! So to me, once a week having a lazy morning is not too much to ask for.

I feel really frustrated and exhausted about this. Sat him down numerous times to talk about it. Tried the calm approach or me shouting behind closed doors, he always seems to forget about what we agreed!!

Sorry for a whinging thread. Just extremely fed up!!!!!

What do you have to mean you asked to have a morning off?

What he is your boss or something?

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi LannieDuck, I know his work is tiring coz I have been there with him. So I understand him needing to relax when he gets home.

DS is 4. Started reception class not long ago. So he has been getting spellings and readings and that takes almost another hour off my day. Might try your idea even just for a day. Thanks.

I dont think you need to do the spelling and reading every single night from my experience of looking after kids at that age. Maybe 3 times a week then once at the weekend or something.

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

Hi Alikay, I do get couple hours to myself (like now till about mid day) doing what i want to do for myself. Then I start cooking, cleaning, picking up DS, homework, give him food, wash him, give his dad food when home, laundry, dishes. Then its normally 10 sometimes 11. So I would appreciate his help on the weekend.

Hi Tish P, yeah he will insist and eventually says it with words.

Forgot to mention, what really gets me up to cook is my DS saying he is hungry. Otherwise I would stay in bed on a Sat or Sun (he eats cereals 5 days a week so on weekends, he likes scrambled eggs with bread)

If your DS is in school by 9, lets say you are home by 9.30. Why do you need to clean your house every day? And if youre cooking dinner in the evening why would you be coming home and cooking?

Your OH could be doing the dishes whilst you get your DS into bed, or vice versa. Or buy a dishwasher if its taking up that much time.

Why cant your OH get up on the weekend to cook your DS breadfast sometimes? Plus your son is old enough to accept he cant always have exactly what he wants every single weekend.

If your OH isnt organised in the mornings and forgets stuff, leave him to it. It will only take a couple of times forgetting stuff before he sorts himself out and doesnt forget it anymore - when he gets lost cos he forgot the sat nav etc. He can learn from his own mistakes youre not his mother.

He can make his own lunch.

Honestly I dont understand why you would even be in a relationship with someone like this, you would be better off being a childminder and getting paid for all this cooking and looking after someone!!