frustrated!!

sweetsheep84

Hi all, just feel a bit frustrated with my OH. Long story short is he works and I stay home and run the house. He thinks he works so it is a big deal that when he gets home, he parks his backside down and expects to be treated like the king. What he does not see is me cleaning up, doing laundry, budgeting, making sure our bills get paid, doing homework with our DS, cooking, etc. Since he gets his weekend off, I asked him if I can have a morning off either on Sat or Sun. Answer is yes but when it comes to the agreed day, I always get the 'I am hungry. Go and cook' look. I am very tired of getting my point across to him as he fails to listen on this part. I get up at half 4 to make him packed lunch and breakfast Mon to Fri (trying to save money so he does not have to eat out). Sometimes I do not get to bed till half 11 trying to get pen ink off my DS school shirts or DS wakes up screaming for me!! So to me, once a week having a lazy morning is not too much to ask for.

I feel really frustrated and exhausted about this. Sat him down numerous times to talk about it. Tried the calm approach or me shouting behind closed doors, he always seems to forget about what we agreed!!

Sorry for a whinging thread. Just extremely fed up!!!!!

trolleyrun

I don't really have much advice apart from try going on strike on the agreed day. Don't cook - surely he can cook something himself? Enjoy a lie-in and wear ear plugs if necessary.

I'm sorry to say but it ounds like he's taking you for granted. Hopefully someone who's been in the same situation will give you more/better advice. Good luck!

LannieDuck

I work full time and my husband stays at home with LO. When I get home (and on weekends) we share the chores. His job at home is just as tiring as my job (I know - I've experienced it on the odd day where our roles have been reversed).

How old is your DS? Would it be worth getting your OH to take a week off work and experience what your day's like? Maybe you could volunteer somewhere for a week to simulate his working day... and then obviously return home in the evening and expect to be waited on.

But it also sounds as if you're a soft touch. What's a "go and cook look"? If it's his turn to cook, don't do it for him.

sweetsheep84

Yeah I think he takes me for granted too if honest. He can cook if he tries to.

I will go on strike this weekend. Remember to invest in a pair of earplugs when shopping tomorrow. Thanks

Tish_P

Answer is yes but when it comes to the agreed day, I always get the 'I am hungry. Go and cook' look

That's quite a specific message to send with a look! I suggest ignoring it, or giving him a "fridge's the white thing in the corner" look right back. If he's going to insist you never have a moment's peace, make him say it out loud with words.

sweetsheep84

Hi LannieDuck, I know his work is tiring coz I have been there with him. So I understand him needing to relax when he gets home.

DS is 4. Started reception class not long ago. So he has been getting spellings and readings and that takes almost another hour off my day. Might try your idea even just for a day. Thanks.

Alikay

Your OH's attitude stinks, and I'm not surprised you're hacked off with it!

However, are you really sure you need to be on the go from 4.30 am to 11.30 pm running a house with one child and a husband (albeit a demanding and unhelpful one!)? I've always had a lot more spare time even with 2 teens and 2 pre-schoolers around and a husband who works away a lot.

Amanda65

Why do you have to make a grown man a packed lunch ??? If you are going to continue making it, could you not make it the night before so that you at least get up a little later in the mornings.

sassyblue

sweetsheep84 wrote: »

I always get the 'I am hungry. Go and cook' look. I am very tired of getting my point across to him as he fails to listen on this part.

So? He can fetch his lazy a55 some toast or a bowl of cereal.

I know it's hard but STOP doing it and he'll learn. I understand as my hubby didn't pull his weight at times but he's getting better.

sweetsheep84

Hi Alikay, I do get couple hours to myself (like now till about mid day) doing what i want to do for myself. Then I start cooking, cleaning, picking up DS, homework, give him food, wash him, give his dad food when home, laundry, dishes. Then its normally 10 sometimes 11. So I would appreciate his help on the weekend.

Hi Tish P, yeah he will insist and eventually says it with words.

Forgot to mention, what really gets me up to cook is my DS saying he is hungry. Otherwise I would stay in bed on a Sat or Sun (he eats cereals 5 days a week so on weekends, he likes scrambled eggs with bread)

London50

Hi

I {from the male side} understand NOW just how you feel. Over the many {and I do mean many} years we have been married I was the one "working" while IMO my wife stayed at home to bring up our childrren and look after the day to day things rthat a "wife" did. As I worked Monday to Friday my thoughts were "OK I have done my bit and the weekends {or evenings} are mine to use as I see fit". As much as I was told of just what she had to do day to day it diud not "sink in" and it has only been over the past 10 years or so with our children now adults that I came to understand just how much my wife did each day.
I know it is of no help but until your partner has that sudden "lightening bolt" moment things for you I do not think will change, to me it is like a person with a drink or gambling problem, until they admit {or see} what you have been saying all along is FACT they do not change. They will say {as I did} all the right things in all the right places at the time just to keep the peace then straight away revert back to what they have done all along.
It took me more years than I care to count before I had that moment and {in a small way} I now try and make up for my past mistakes. all you can do is keep trying and PERHAPS one day your partner will see it the way I did in the end