Stepson won't wash thread....update.....

bangersnmash

19lottie82 wrote: »

I don't agree with this. I have lived in various houseshares in my life, and in my experience, it isn't the case that you can only wash your clothes once a fortnight and not smell. what about if you sweat, and don't wash it off afterwards?

Do you know how much someone sweats at night?

Also, what about not brusing his teeth? I'm sure the OP said her DSS didn't do that.

I dealt with this in some detail in posts #141 and #152 on the other thread which you can get to easily via the links that I've provided in post #23 above on this thread.

If you've got the time and interest perhaps have a read of them and then if there's some more to say about it then let's do so more, if you like.

19lottie82

Listen. I can tell we are not going to get anywhere on the main body of this argument. I really don't agree with your ideas, but you obviously do.

What I was asking about is do you think it's OK not to maintain oral hygenine? I have read your posts and can't find any reference to the issue.

System

I've done my bit as a mum, my daughter is now 27 and I don't want to now try to parent someone else's.

I can understand how you feel. I ended my fertility 17 years ago this June but it wouldnt stop me being a good Stepmother to someone elses child. I'd be even more hands on if the Mother wasnt around.

I'd do it out of love for my partner.

bangersnmash

19lottie82 wrote: »

Bangers........ you never answered my question about dental hygenie?

Dental hygiene is important, for the sake of your teeth and gums. Obviously. Of course.

Also foul breath is an issue for some people and regarding some foods.

So, yes, dental hygiene is important, sure.

There's also possibly a link between organisms in your mouth and heart disease though the research is a bit inconclusive so far, that I've read. But some reports have highlighted that there sometimes appears to be a link.

As much as possible I avoid the toothpastes that include fluoride, saccharin, aspartame, acesulfame, artificial sweeteners, colouring and flavouring and various other nasty chemicals as there have been large numbers of studies for many years highlighting how carcinogenic and other health debilitating all those are. So I hunt around for the supposedly non or at least hopefully less toxic ones in health food shops - at double the price! But probably worth it, hopefully.

Of course who knows, maybe not, perhaps those ones are also destructive to you, I haven't studied them in detail and I haven't got my own lab and team of a hundred people and unlimited budget to analyse it all...

Anything else?

loracan1

suze200 wrote: »

If the DS is 17 there is not really much you can do to "make" him wash. if he was 7 you'd be in with a chance.

The threat of cessation of internet is always a powerful motivator in my house. (with a 16 year old)

Lara44

19lottie82 wrote: »

Trying to get someone to wash is negative behaviour?

To me, negative, is not having enough self worth in yourself, or consideration for others to have a shower a couple of times a week, or brush your teeth.

Do you think anyone will give this boy a job, so he can better himself, financially, sociably or personally, unless he does that?
I certainly don't.

Like lottie, I think he must have pretty low self esteem if he isn't even motivated to wash. The quickest way to decrease motivation is by nagging. Instead I would try paying your SS loads of attention, and encourage your BF to do the same. Spend time doing things together. Try to build his confidence up little by little.

It must feel like your SS and BF are being very disrespectful to you. But I think you should try reverse psychology and see what happens. What have you got to lose? At the very least it will detract your attention from the washing issue and back onto the boy you obviously care about.

It's not easy to be a teenager, to go out into the world and find a place, especially in these troubled times. Good luck!

19lottie82

bangersnmash wrote: »

Dental hygiene is important, for the sake of your teeth and gums. Obviously. Of course.

Also foul breath is an issue for some people and regarding some foods.

So, yes, dental hygiene is important, sure.

So, is it negative or acceptable for the OP to keep asking her DSS to brush his teeth? She said he doesn't do that much either.

bangersnmash wrote: »

Anything else?

That's all I was trying to get your viewpoint on, so, no. Thanks.

bangersnmash

19lottie82 wrote: »

Listen. I can tell we are not going to get anywhere on the main body of this argument. I really don't agree with your ideas, but you obviously do.

Well, if you can't even be bothered to spend two minutes skimming some research material that's new to you then, sure, that's your choice. But I'm not alone in this and there are many more people in this country and all round the world who are saying what I'm saying, and some of them have been for some decades now, including lots of scientists and science reports. So ignore this health data at your peril.

19lottie82 wrote: »

What I was asking about is do you think it's OK not to maintain oral hygenine? I have read your posts and can't find any reference to the issue.

Yes, you're a bit quicker posting than I am, probably as your posts here are relatively short but mine are longer.

But I have now answered it, just above and, yes oral hygiene is important and necessary, for a number of reasons.

As I say, if there's some more arising out of it that might be interesting to consider then I'll be interested to hear it.

19lottie82

bangersnmash wrote: »

Well, if you can't even be bothered to spend two minutes skimming some research material that's new to you then,

As before, I am going on my own personal experience, and that's good enough for me.

Mojisola

Where are all the posters who normally reply to threads about awkward teenagers saying "Your house, your rules"?