Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

Teeniepops

"If you love them, let them go..."

6 years you made excuses not to do what she asked for, a simple step like meeting her Father. She gave you a second chance and it faded in 6 weeks. I realise you may have had things come up, but couples who last grow stronger in hard times, not weaker.

As a woman, I would want time to get my head together. Sending her tokens now when she's vulnerable (especially at this time of year) is not the best move. It's also a bit unfair IMO as you're not listening to her words.

If you love her, respect her words and give her some space. A Valentine's card on the day, with some heartfelt, honest words is one thing. Bombarding her with messages now is another.

If you truly love her, don't make promises you can't keep. You're acting out of selfishness because you don't like the out come, but you were the one who could fix it. You'd not have let her go the second time had you been ready to step up to the place.

Sorry fella, but there is only so much Hallmark can do.

thorsoak

I've just picked up on the fact that when this relationship started you were 18, and she was 17. Six years on, she has probably grown up!

warehouse

lufcgirl wrote: »

Am I the only one that cringed reading all of these gestures?

Me too. Really OP, songs in cards after nothing for 6 years? It's beyond cringeworthy, in fact I'd say it would be the final nail in the coffin on this relationship.

You have only 1 shot at this, and that is to leave the girl in peace. Walk away.

If she truly wants to be with you she will get in contact. If she doesn't, then that is that. You can't force it with completely transparent gestures, not a hope in h*ll. If it's meant to be she will find you.

Errata

Sounds like the girl friend had her light bulb moment and after 6 years probably knows the OP better than he does himself and six Valentine cards all at once would have me making sure all the doors and windows were locked!

Plethora_2

Creepy. If I was her, I'd be majorly scared and weirded out. Leave her alone!

lufcgirl

It's verging on obsessed. Valentines Day should be nothing this year to you as it was the previous six.

She might be the love of your life in your mind right now, but you're not hers sadly. For this reason alone you have to stop the plans to stalk her and her family and let go for your own happiness (and to stop the risk of a criminal record)

zoesmummy_2006

victory wrote: »

never ever getting back together taylor swift this one

thats my ringtone for my ex husband, before that it was cry me a river by michael buble lol

OP I havent read the whole thread but I agree with the opinions on the first couple pages, youre battling a lost cause and tbh I think you should walk away and let the girl move on and be happy even if that means not with you.

The whole cards/letters/songs thing is overkill to me-you're not listening to her and are only thinking of yourself, she's told you that she isnt in love with you anymore yet you're persisting in this declaration of your 'love' for her in the hope that she'll change her mind.....it wont.

My ex tried this with me last year, he sent me a valentines card telling me how much he would always love me.... after cheating and having a baby with someone else, he'd been gone nearly 3 years at this point and we were divorced. All the card did was make me angry and it went straight in the bin.

julie2710

Oh my goodness! So you wanted a second chance, got it and blew it again! You can come up with as many excuses as you like really, I expect she's heard them all over the last 6 years! At the end of the day life will always have hiccups that come along and interrupt our everyday "routine" but what should have been happening then shouldn't have been routine should it? The love of your life should have been your priority and even if it was 5 minutes to make a gestures before you crawled into bed it would have shown her where your priorities lie. To be fair I expect she's had 6 years of I will change and she probably, quite rightly doesn't believe a word of it!

You are now sounding obsessive and this over the top behaviour will do nothing more than alienate her even more and kill off any last ounce of respect she may possibly have for you.

Whilst I appreciate you may feel sad at the loss of your relationship, I'm going to lay it on the line! Man up!! You made not just one mistake but years of them. Accept it, pick yourself up and make the changes to yourself that you need to make. Ensuring that the world doesn't revolve around what is going on for you might be a start. Then maybe next time you won't make the same mistakes again.

marisco_2

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

She says although she still loves me but is no longer in love with me.

Respect her decision and move on. Once you feel taken for granted and fall out of love with someone it is really hard to bring those feelings back.

The things you are doing to win her back are not sincere or sustainable. She knows this and probably feels that at some point life will slip back to how it was. You cannot make up for missing Valentines day for 6 years by bombarding her with cards this year. Romance is subtle and loving not extreme and over the top.

tizerbelle

Sage words written by many before me and no need to repeat but no one seems to have picked up on the "suprise" bit (unless I've missed it)

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

A card will arrive everyday until Valentines day, on which I intend to surprise her at work with the final card and some flowers.

DO NOT DO THIS!

She will hate you for it. A man she is no longer in love with or in a relationship with turning up at her place of work and embarassing her in front of her colleagues and managers.

If I were her, after 5 days postal harassment and then this as well, there is no way on earth I would even speak to you and I'd be asking security/biggest guys in work to get you marched off the premises very quickly.