Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

aliasojo

warehouse wrote: »

Me too. Really OP, songs in cards after nothing for 6 years? It's beyond cringeworthy.....

C'mon guys, the bloke is young and this is his first serious long term relationship. He wont be the first to think poetry or song is a grand 'romantic' gesture.

My ex husband stood outside my house at 2am one night singing 'I Love A Lassie (we're both Scottish lol) and he genuinely thought this was a really good display of the seriousness of his feelings for me.

Unfortunately all it did for me was to confirm how much of a !!!!!! he was. :rotfl:

My son (God bless him ) left a cd player on his then girlfriend's doorstep with romantic songs on it after they split up as he wanted her back. He was only 16 at the time though.

I also know of 2 other women who've had similar (and have been similarly unimpressed. .) I think maybe there's too many blokes out there who've watched chick flicks on the fly and have got their romantic gesture technique from movies and not real life.

Calien27

Yeah, showing up at her place of work with a card and flowers is just a tad stalkerish, and would probably backfire in a spectacular way!

The only reason for these grand gestures is because her leaving has given you a kick up the bum, if you were still together, would this Valentines Day be any different from the other six you spent with her?

Saturnalia

Ah well, Valentine's Day is 10 days away, he'll have completely lost interest in her again by then.

victory

marisco wrote: »

You cannot make up for missing Valentines day for 6 years by bombarding her with cards this year. Romance is subtle and loving not extreme and over the top.

exactly this:D you had 6 years of chances, you had your gf telling you how upset she was you never made the effort, now these grand gestures cannot be made all the time, they are false, they don't come from the heart just from desperation and that is a whole different thing, anyone can book a fab hol, a trip on the orient express, etc etc but that is not a relationship, it's just momentary escapism, it is what you do with the other 364 days of the year that matter:D

HeadAboveWater

victory wrote: »

it is what you do with the other 364 days of the year that matter:D

Bingo!!

I'm not a val's day person for that exact reason!




Ummmm.... OP seems to have disappeared....!

victory

Have I missed the bit where it says when the cards start? Have they started yet? The reaction to the first one will tell the OP whether it is a grand gesture great idea to follow them up with all the other cards and songs and flowers

snow_ball

SandC wrote: »

I was of a similar age when I ended a relationship with the ex who sounds like you. I had tried to end it six months previously but he persuaded me things would get better. His first gesture was to suggest a weekend away. 'It's a good start' thought I.

Who ended up organising the weekend away, paying for more than half of it and driving there? Me.

Mutual acquaintances told him to make more effort, when he refused to accompany me to work functions cos he couldn't be bothered. He borrowed money from me and never repaid it, he had me driving everywhere while his car sat in the drive. He would turn up for a night out with no money on him, he would expect me to still buy rounds when I was on soft drinks and he was on pints, I had a bash in my car, a colleague asked would he be getting me some flowers - 'no, she's fine' he said. Etc. etc. etc.

Tell you what, he was crushed when I ended it. Cos he loved me soooo much you see. :rotfl: I shed some tears for what could have been but then, breathed a big sigh of relief.

By the time I walked away the relationship had been over in my head for months.

SNAP! I could have written this.

By the time he realised what we (could've) had, I'd completely fallen out of love and although I agreed to one last chance it was too little, too late.

victory

HeadAboveWater wrote: »

Bingo!!

I'm not a val's day person for that exact reason!




Ummmm.... OP seems to have disappeared....!

Obviously coming up with another sure fail way of making his gf realise that she can now easily rather not be with him:D

Calien27

victory wrote: »

Obviously coming up with another sure fail way of making his gf realise that she can now easily rather not be with him:D

I was wondering where he'd gone

podperson

OP - I'm sorry but you're coming across as way too desparate and all you're going to do with this is freak her out and drive her away completely. Quite frankly a ridiculously over the top gesture on Valentine's day after never bothering with it for 6 years would just annoy me. I've never been particularly into Valentine's Day as it seems to me like by making an effort one day a year then people seem to think they don't need to the other 364 - which is precisely what the problem has been in your relationship, so if it was me then that would just rub that in!

You've had 6 years to make the effort and you couldn't be bothered. She gave you a second chance and you couldn't even keep it up for 6 weeks - and like others have said it's nothing but excuses, there are always going to be 'circumstances' and other things going on. The whole point is that you should still prioritise your relationship enough to make at least some effort with it. It just shows a lack of respect for her feelings.

Now, she's told you that she wants to end it and that she's not in love with you any more. But, again, rather than respect her wishes and her feelings you're convinced that if you push her enough then she'll 'give in' and take you back and that magically everything will be different this time! She's asked for space and instead you contact her friends and family behind her back, talk about showing up to her work and doing a grand declaration in front of her colleagues (which will be extremely embarassing for her when you're not even together at the moment!). You're acting like a child who has to have their own way no matter what anyone else says or wants. If you really love her then leave her alone like she's asked you to.