Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

sunshinetours

Pollycat wrote: »

I think people have been realistic rather than mean and cynical.

The behaviour & actions that the OP is planning is OTT.

I actually think the OP's girlfriend may have regretted getting back together with him after the first split.

He says this:


Surely a girlfriend of 6 years - regardless of how young she is or how much she had been taken for granted over those 6 years - would understand circumstances such as bereavement (x 2).

Unless the OP didn't bother to explain his lack of care to her - in which case he obviously didn't learn his lesson after the first split.

I think she has taken this second period of 'taking for granted' and used it as the excuse to end it once and for all, and sadly for the OP, I think he is flagellating a deceased equine.

Never said anyone was personally being mean and cynical just that we all live in a cynical world. Quite clearly my post says i don't disagree with the situation and its most likely outcome.

Its a very real fact that the older and more worldly wise we all become (well some anyway!) the more we simply lose the very real and raw emotions we feel more when younger when there are a lot more "firsts" in life, and we don't all have the other every day crap to deal with

Captain_Charisma

Ridicule and laugh all you like, I consider myself a funny guy so I'm glad I can provide you all with a few laughs. If I was reading half the stuff I'd wrote I'd have a laugh too, if you can't have a laugh at your own expense then you should lighten up abit.

I know that I'm not sinister, I'm not a creepy stalker (despite what my previous posts suggest), and I know theres a line that I don't intend to cross.

At the end of the day, I am a young lad who has let down the woman he loves badly over the years, I know what I've done wrong and intend to learn from my (many) mistakes.

She is the only girl I've ever loved, I want to show her how much she means to me and I how much I want her to be happy before it's too late, sadly I fear it may already be too late but if I don't make one last effort on a day that I've let her down on in the past then I'll regret it.

Pollycat

I don't think people have laughed at you or ridiculed you.

Many have suggested that your planned actions may come across as stalker-ish, others have said that you are suffocating her with this bombardment of your affection.

Still more have said 'too little, too late'.

I applaud your persistance but I stand by what I've said earlier - I think she didn't want to get back with you after your first split and you then gave her the excuse she was looking for.

It would be nice to be proved wrong though, so I wish you luck.

I personally would think sending a card every day up to Valentine's Day very tacky and it wouldn't impress me at all.

lufcgirl

All I would do is on Valentine's Day send a text with 'Thinking of you' on it. It's subtle, says the message very well that you want to be with her and if she feels anything at all for you I'm hoping she would respond.

The grand gestures will do nothing, surely now you must see it's little things that will pave the way to being with her again?

victory

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

Ridicule and laugh all you like, I consider myself a funny guy so I'm glad I can provide you all with a few laughs. If I was reading half the stuff I'd wrote I'd have a laugh too, if you can't have a laugh at your own expense then you should lighten up abit.

I know that I'm not sinister, I'm not a creepy stalker (despite what my previous posts suggest), and I know theres a line that I don't intend to cross.

At the end of the day, I am a young lad who has let down the woman he loves badly over the years, I know what I've done wrong and intend to learn from my (many) mistakes.

She is the only girl I've ever loved, I want to show her how much she means to me and I how much I want her to be happy before it's too late, sadly I fear it may already be too late but if I don't make one last effort on a day that I've let her down on in the past then I'll regret it.

Wow back up there tiger:D no one is ridiculing you or laughing at you, I think you have had some really great advice and if anything we have been trying to save you from making yourself look foolish and being either humiliated or laughed at....

You seem to be missing the point, valentines day is nothing but a silly commercial hype over the top ridiculous show of red tat rubbish, a relationship is putting the other person first, caring, loving, sharing, being open, loving and sensitive to their needs every day not just for one day, you have to be reliable and trusting, faithfull and true, a relationship is so much more than a card and a song

victory

pollycat is right, whatever you do now you have left it too late, your gf has to be in love with you, has to want to be with you, has to think her life would not be complete without you to even contemplate a whole heap of cards, songs, grand gestures to mean anything to her....

pinkduvetdiva

lufcgirl wrote: »

All I would do is on Valentine's Day send a text with 'Thinking of you' on it. It's subtle, says the message very well that you want to be with her and if she feels anything at all for you I'm hoping she would respond.

The grand gestures will do nothing, surely now you must see it's little things that will pave the way to being with her again?

This sounds like a good idea, if you must insist on getting in contact. Personally, I'd charge it to the card of life, learn from my mistakes and move on (as well as not texting her on Valentine's Day). She's dumped you twice - and that's about as final as you're going to get. Walk away now while you still have some dignity and she still respects you. You can't win them all, Captain.

podperson

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

Ridicule and laugh all you like, I consider myself a funny guy so I'm glad I can provide you all with a few laughs. If I was reading half the stuff I'd wrote I'd have a laugh too, if you can't have a laugh at your own expense then you should lighten up abit.

I know that I'm not sinister, I'm not a creepy stalker (despite what my previous posts suggest), and I know theres a line that I don't intend to cross.

At the end of the day, I am a young lad who has let down the woman he loves badly over the years, I know what I've done wrong and intend to learn from my (many) mistakes.

She is the only girl I've ever loved, I want to show her how much she means to me and I how much I want her to be happy before it's too late, sadly I fear it may already be too late but if I don't make one last effort on a day that I've let her down on in the past then I'll regret it.

I don't think anyone is ridiculing you - but advising that even if it's not too late then a grand gesture is quite frankly meaningless at this point. If you want to contact her one last time, maybe write down how you feel, how sorry you are and beg her for one last chance then fine, go ahead. Whether people think you will get anywhere with it or not is irrelevant, it's up to you.
But waiting until the 'special' day of Valentine's and then doing some OTT gesture is simply emphasising the fact that you are all about the 'once a year big show' rather then the every day constinancy that she's looking for. If you love her then why do you need to wait for a designated day to say that?

Goldiegirl

If you really, really MUST have one more try, forget about Valentines day and grand gestures.

Speak to her quietly and calmly on a normal day, explain that you know you have been a complete idiot in the past and ask her she is willing to take you back.

If she's not, accept it, and walk away.

If by any chance she is willing to carry on with the relationship, treat her like a queen every single day.

Captain_Charisma

I think a few people are missing the point RE Valentines Day..

My attitude for the last 6 years has been "I'll take you out on my terms, not when the card shops tell me to". I know this has upset/ annoyed my then-girlfriend. That is why I feel I need to make a grand gesture for/on Valentines Day, to show her that I do care and that i do listen, in an ideal world this will lead to me be given the chance to do all the small things that mean so much hurt, but I also know that it's likely I will never be given this chance :-(