Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

fannyadams

THIS VIDEO IS ALL YOURS

listen very carefully to the lyrics and know that it's ALL TRUE

lufcgirl

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I think a few people are missing the point RE Valentines Day..

My attitude for the last 6 years has been "I'll take you out on my terms, not when the card shops tell me to". I know this has upset/ annoyed my then-girlfriend. That is why I feel I need to make a grand gesture for/on Valentines Day, to show her that I do care and that i do listen, in an ideal world this will lead to me be given the chance to do all the small things that mean so much hurt, but I also know that it's likely I will never be given this chance :-(

I think you're missing the point. If for six years my (now ex) partner had done nothing then comes back when I've split with them with a grand gesture for ONE day, when it could have came any day so far this year, then I'd be thinking 'well this is clearly a rouse to get me back' and how do I know things will change?

I know it's not what you want to hear, and eighteen months ago I went through exactly the same thing, but you're not going to get her back. Her saying she isn't in love with you is the death of any relationship. Gain some dignity and walk away. I know that if someone wants me, they will find me. You have to give her the chance to realise that rather than force what you want upon her.

You're honestly just sounding like a child and wanting what you can't have!

System

You have had two chances to get it right and failed both times. Personally i'd just send her a nice card. Appologise for being so self centred and wait and see if she responds.

podperson

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I think a few people are missing the point RE Valentines Day..

My attitude for the last 6 years has been "I'll take you out on my terms, not when the card shops tell me to". I know this has upset/ annoyed my then-girlfriend. That is why I feel I need to make a grand gesture for/on Valentines Day, to show her that I do care and that i do listen, in an ideal world this will lead to me be given the chance to do all the small things that mean so much hurt, but I also know that it's likely I will never be given this chance :-(

It's not the grand gesture she's wanting though is it? You did the grand gesture before xmas - she took you back and it was the small things that you messed up on. She is going to see this as exactly the same as that and even if she does still love you (which she's told you she doesn't!) then she isn't going to be interested/believe you.

But then it's fairly obvious that you're going to do exactly what you want no matter what anyone else says. Tbh I'm very much starting to see the problem your gf has had as you say you're going to listen to her but you haven't done - just as you've not listened to anyone on here, as your way must be right despite what anyone says to the contrary. I wish you luck but I don't think there is any chance she's going to take you back with this attitude.

DKLS

OP, do the decent thing and let the poor lass go, even if you pull off your grand gesture on valentines and you get back with her I would give it a week max, before your back to your ways.

TBH I find it bordering on creepy with a hint of deranged stalker.

Calien27

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I think a few people are missing the point RE Valentines Day..

My attitude for the last 6 years has been "I'll take you out on my terms, not when the card shops tell me to". I know this has upset/ annoyed my then-girlfriend. That is why I feel I need to make a grand gesture for/on Valentines Day, to show her that I do care and that i do listen, in an ideal world this will lead to me be given the chance to do all the small things that mean so much hurt, but I also know that it's likely I will never be given this chance :-(

But you were given the chance to do things on every other day apart from Valentines Day for six years, and you didn't. I mean you didn't even meet her father.

Errata

Sorry, it's way too late to try and suck up to her.

unoriginal_uk

IMHO I don't even know why the poster came on here in the first place. As others have said, it is blatantly obvious that he is going to do what he has decided to do and he won't listen to anyone trying to give him sensible advice.

And as others have said, this could well be one of the reasons why she doesn't want to know anymore - she may well have spent 6 years trying to get it through his head what she wants and he can't see any further than his own way of thinking. And my other post on this thread also refers - he tries some grand gesture when things go ***s up then doesn't bother anymore until she dumps him again. But that's just my own opinion.

The only thing I would add though, as someone else picked up on - please for crying out loud DO NOT turn up at her workplace on valentines day begging for forgiveness. If an ex-boyfriend did this to me, I would not only never live the embarrassment down, but I would never ever have contact with him again and I would let him know in no uncertain terms that if he EVER tried something like that again I would be taking action against him.

....But maybe I am just a don't-muck-me-around type of gal these days!

marleyboy

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

Despite what I have posted I am not a crazy stalker and I know theres a line and I don't intend to cross it.

You need to err on caution, she may look at the scenario very differently indeed and could well be scared off by your persistence.

There is a very thin line between obsessing and stalking, particularly if she has made it clear she is not in love with you. No matter what extravagance you throw at someone, you cannot make someone love you.

A one way battle for a blind love only breaks the heart further. You may have to accept at some point, your fight for a one sided love may become futile and only help to drive a bigger wedge between it.

GlasweJen

Your ex isn't a prize to "win". She's a grown adult who can decide who she wants to be with and she's made it clear that this person is not you! Clearly you want her but she doesn't want you and that's her choice, unfortunately you need to live with that.